If your children have a half sibling how much involvement do you have.

[PotLucky]

Just curious about this subject and what other people do.

If your child's other parent has another child(ren), so your children's half sibling, what involvement have you had if any?

I.e. have you met them? Do you say hello/talk at pick up or drop off? Have you ever had them round to your house for anything, say a birthday party for your DC or whatever?

If you don't have any interaction do you find it strange that your child(ren) have a sibling(s) you don't know?

I don't think there is any right or wrong answer btw and I'm sure a lot of this will depend on the relationships between everyone involved. I'm genuinely just curious as to what other people's situations are like in this scenario

My eldest two have a little brother at their dad's house. I gave the kids money to buy him a gift after he was born , I ask after him frequently , I talk to him when I see him. That's it really.

Mine have 4 half siblings, their dad only sees 2 of them himself. I have no contact. I say hi if I see them in the street.

Mine have an older half sibling, they’ve never met him and I haven’t told them about him either, I don’t know if he knows about them 🤷‍♀️ I don’t feel weird about it as I don’t really class him as related to them. I see him as their fathers other child.

Oh and I’ve never met him either.

Mine have seen their half sister once in 4 years thanks to their joint dad being a cockwomble

Dd has a half sister who her dad chooses not to see.

We used to visit once a month, the girls are lovely together.

A lot less now because of covid and moving house. Ironically me and the mother are both pregnant with our long term partners and very happy/civil!

My DC have 2 half siblings (same mum) - 1 lives with us and the other visits eow as well as school holidays. Their mum has never had anything to do with my DC, I don't think she'd recognise them if she passed them in the street (if they weren't with me or their dad). She also doesn't see her own DC who lives with us (her choice) so maybe we're not the norm.

Step rather than half. I used to send over birthday presents when she was younger. She knows me to say hi to on the doorstep. She came to a few birthday parties that I organised. So - pretty much no involvement.

I do find it really odd that my child has a sibling and all the closeness of that relationship with someone I barely know. I feel the same about her stepmother too. I have no issue Witt either of them - just in principle I find it odd that my own child has such a close relationship with someone I barely know.

My daughter has 3 half siblings, I would say hi if I saw them at her dads house and they've come to my house or been at the same venue for things to do with my daughter over the years (birthday parties etc) so have her dad and his wife

Mine have 2 half siblings from their dads first marriage. They are adults now (and mine are adult/teen) They saw lots of them when they were younger, but now they are adults and working etc don't see them much as they live 150 miles away. Usually they'd visit summer and Christmas and maybe other times but obviously the last year that didn't happen. They popped down briefly just before Christmas. I stay in touch with DSD quite regularly, DSS doesn't stay in contact really, only through his sister.

My ex has another child that he doesn't see, he doesn't see mine either. I see the other child. Me and the mum have made a decision to keep contact for our children. He lives quite far away but we are making it work. Our children know eachother well

I buy them birthday and xmas presents, chat to them when I see them (or their mum) and yes they have been here for a birthday or when we got a pup etc. They are my dc's siblings so no reason not to have them over if they want to come here. The kids or their mum is not the issue though, its the father lol

Bit different as I am the half sibling. I have two half sisters, but when we were growing up I didn’t get to see them much and I feel like I really missed out. We had a horrible step mother and our Dad just let her keep us away.

All good now we are grown up though. They’re 10 years younger than me but we’re best friends. I think it’s really important to have a relationship and I don’t think of them as my half sisters they are just my sisters.

My ds1 who is almost 23 has a different dad to my four younger kids. He has been awesome in checking in on his brother at university. He is currently picking his sister up to take her to school and drop her home again as my car broke, badly.
I'm very grateful for him and his attitude.

My baby is the half-sibling. He has nothing to do with any of his half siblings' other parents. My ex-PILs regularly ask about him though.

my DF had a second family and my DM refused to acknowledge those children. On the odd occasion she came into contact with them she ignored them. Now we are all older she tolerates them at my family events (my wedding, kids parties etc) but slags everything they do off.

As a result of watching that and knowing how embarassed I always feel, I treat any child that enters our family well. Whether it be a half or step or temporary. My brother and his wife split. They had 1 daughter 50/50 split so saw one another multiple times a week still. ex SIL had a second child. My brother actually used to drive the boy to football training every week because he was a coach there and it just seemed easy to do when dropping DN off home on a saturday morning. We see him at events and ask after him. We invite him to our childrens parties when we invite DN and always send a token gift at christmas and birthdays (usually just £10 in a card now hes a bit older). I would never want to make a child feel "less" than anyone else. Even if its just a card or asking after them.

My SD is now an adult of 35 and her half-sisters, my 2 DDs, are 20 & 15.
The 3 of them have always been close even though SD lives a 7 hour flight away. We all see each other twice a year for 2-3 weeks each time. They speak for at least half an hour every week and have even taken holidays together without us.
I love it. My dds have an extra adult in their lives who loves them and cares about their safety as much as we do but with whom they can be just a bit more frank about their teenage lives.

DH’s ex had another child after DH and her split. The dad never stuck around. DH treated youngest the same as his own DCs, and they all came to ours for weekends etc together. With my own DS now, he/we consider all the ex’s DCs to be his siblings - no differentiation made between biological and non biological siblings at all. All are now grown up, but all equally involved in DS’s life and consider him their little brother.

This also goes both ways, as DS has been invited to weddings, 18th & 21st parties and graduation’s of brothers and sisters (even when hosted by ex) as part of their family, regardless of biological relationship.

When my son's father comes to collect son (13) he plays with my 2 year old, talks to him and that whilst he's waiting for son to get ready.

They have just had a new baby in January, we bought them a present and went round to the house to meet new baby, I held her it was lovely. That's my sons little sister and I'm lucky that we all get on well enough to be able to do that.

As you say, I cannot imagine him having that I don't know, but more importantly siblings that don't know each other. Oh and we never say half, they are just his brother and sister.

ByStarlight that is so lovely!

My dc have 3 half siblings. I've met one of them once. I said hello and asked how he was, random chatter like I'd have with any 3 year old.

I always ask the dc how their siblings are when they've seen them, but that's because they see them so rarely. Usually a "bet the littlies were excited to see you' type comment.

I also don't use the word 'half' but ex and his wife have made it very clear that my dc are only half siblings to their dc. Oddly her older dc are never referred to as half. Very odd.

@WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo my husband is obsessed with the half aspect in really stupid ways. So he'll insist on saying 'half brother' etc. It's not helpful and just silly.

Yet, where the half sibling thing actually matters (E.g. where I'm saying 'well actually I'm only mum to some of those children so, as their parent, you will need to get off your arse and do x, y or z for your children) he seems to want to ignore it.

He gets it from MIL who, alongside being just not very nice, is weirdly obsessed with genetics. She was abandoned as a baby and then adopted at 6 months. Yet, she insists on referring to her genetic parents as her 'real parents' and is frankly horrible to her mum about it. None of it is very healthy (so I just avoid her, and tell my husband off for getting angry at me referring to a half sibling as a brother).