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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Emergency vacuuming...

31 replies

Longingforatikihut · 18/04/2021 20:41

Myself and NDN have a short passive aggressive history. I do think she is troubled by something and I try to be reasonable even though I feel she rarely is.

In normal day to day cleaning routine I wouldn't dream of vacuuming/running washer/other noisy things outside 8am-8pm as we are terraces and noise travels. She has previously complained at me vacuuming on a weekend at lunch time and 'kindly' asked me to vacuum between 12-2 on Wednesdays as that's when she's not home (I have a job so ignored this ridiculousness).

I was just loading the dishwasher and dropped and broke a glass. I have uncaged pets roaming my home so quickly whipped out the vacuum to hoover up shards and save tiny paws from getting hurt. It was 5 past 8. It was literally on for a minute, 2 minutes max. It was turned off and packed away before she was even banging on the door screaming. I calmly told her what happened but apparently I am lots of foul words.

I don't think I am being unreasonable. It was a one time thing. Maybe I'm missing something? I'm currently buying my own home and I don't want to end up with a similar relationship with my new neighbors. And I doing something wrong?

OP posts:
CyberNan · 18/04/2021 20:43

tell her to get lost... you can vacuum when you want and dont need an appointment to do it...

Stepawayfromdrgoogle · 18/04/2021 20:43

Nope she’s batshit. Trying to mandate exact times for vacuuming, she needs to wind her neck in.

MadeOfStarStuff · 18/04/2021 20:47

Of course YANBU!

FizzyPink · 18/04/2021 20:48

I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all. 8pm is hardly late. Last night DP brought in the lamp we’d been using in the garden under the gazebo and managed to smash the shade at 1am.
We’re in a flat with neighbours above but I still turned on the hoover for 2 minutes to get rid of the shards. No way was I going to leave it all night for us to forget and walk into in the morning.

OliveToboogie · 18/04/2021 20:50

She is a complete idiot. You can hoover when you like. If she doesn't like noise she should have bought a detached house on an uninhabited island.

greeneyedlulu · 18/04/2021 20:52

You've done nothing wrong, she's nuts!

sqirrelfriends · 18/04/2021 20:55

Yanbu, her reaction is insane

bananaboats · 18/04/2021 20:55

She sounds crazy! I would stop engaging with her tbh as you can't win with someone like this.

Original poster
Longingforatikihut · 18/04/2021 20:57

Thanks guys. I'm not always best at picking up social norms and such and was starting to think I was the problem on the long outing list of crazy back and forth.

I can't wait to move out. It's not a nice area, but it made it cheap enough that I could save my deposit. Roll on moving day!

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 18/04/2021 20:57

You've done nothing wrong at all. Glad you're getting away from her soon.

Shopliftersoftheworldunite · 18/04/2021 21:14

I am quite noise intolerant (although would never bang on the neighbours door or even let them know I’m annoyed - I would just silently seethe) and even I think this is fucking madness. Hoover when you want love, especially in an emergency!

Aprilshowersandhail · 18/04/2021 21:17

She is lucky you didn't throttle her with the vacuum cord..

TillyTopper · 18/04/2021 21:22

Of course YANBU. Her reaction to a quick vacuum at 8:05 - or any time - is ridiculous. Good luck with your move!

LolaSmiles · 18/04/2021 21:25

YANBU at all. She sounds unpleasant. She doesn't get to decide when people tidy up.

bloodyhell19 · 18/04/2021 21:30

She's batshit. Let her roar & ignore her.

altlife · 18/04/2021 22:07

I'd be inclined to whip my vacuum out again for another 2 mins.

Then again if she bangs on the door again Grin

serin · 18/04/2021 22:20

OMG, she's a nutcase. I would class that as harassment and sent her a letter, stating that you will vacuum whenever you feel it is necessary and that if she continues to harass you, you will be seeking legal advice.

getyourfreakon · 18/04/2021 22:21

I'd have plugged it back in and left it on for a full 15 minutes after that. Repeated daily at the same time. That's normal household noise and she can't dictate what you do in your own home within reasonable hours. Speaking to you like that she lost any kind of high ground. Self appointed noise police. What if you had a crying baby at 2am? Ridiculous.

StoneofDestiny · 18/04/2021 22:23

She is very unstable. She doesn't like being disturbed but leaves her home to bang on your door? Be glad you are moving.

Thehawki · 18/04/2021 22:24

Wow that’s crazy! You’ve done nothing wrong OP, you sound like a neighbour sent from heaven with how accommodating you’ve been. Your new neighbours will love you if you’re as thoughtful as you say you are, don’t stress and congrats on the house!

SleepingStandingUp · 18/04/2021 22:27

Your already v considerate to only do that stuff between 8 and 8. Of course you did the right thing. If she can't tolerate noise to that extent she needs to put soundproofing in

AuntyHope · 18/04/2021 22:39

I would be tempted to look up your councils noise guidelines, I think actual antisocial hours are after 11pm and before 7am in most areas, and then hoover at the earliest and latest times. It would be really petty, though

Original poster
Longingforatikihut · 18/04/2021 23:01

Thanks for your kind and humourous words everyone. I have a MH history myself so I try to let her usual stuff just wash over me, we all have tough times and this year especially has been kind to very few. Unfortunately now the folks across the road are fighting in the street. I feel like making a tally chart of days on the wall like a prisoner in the movies. Confused

OP posts:
Summersun2020 · 18/04/2021 23:06

Five past 8!! She’s nuts OP. I’d be tempted to wheel it back out and give the whole house a really thorough hoover-under beds, pull the sofas out, vacuum the stairs.

VenusTiger · 18/04/2021 23:35

You're doing nothing wrong - she's the only one complaining, it's her issue not yours.
Hope you move house quickly.
Don't answer the door to her again - completely ignore her - she's a bully.