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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have chuckled at my husband’s “predicament”

21 replies

LorrieF · 18/04/2021 18:27

Well my husband bit the bullet a while back and asked to be referred for a vasectomy. Our family is definitely complete and seeing as though oral contraceptives don’t agree with me, he doesn’t like condoms and I didn’t find the idea of the coil appealing, we both agreed it was the best solution. So he had the procedure done on Friday and once he’d recovered the nurse came in to discharge him and give him some follow up advice. He was fully aware that he would need to provide a semen sample in a few months time but he wasn’t prepared to be told by the nurse that once he’s recovered in about two weeks, he will need to masturbate on average 3 times a week in order to clear his tubes. Neither of us had really thought about it but it makes sense that there would still be a lot of his swimmers still there, but still the shock on his face when he told me was hilarious. He’s not exactly shy when it comes to doing the deed, either with me or by himself, but he was like FGS when am
I going to find the time 3 times a week to give myself a treat. Well I couldn’t help it and I burst out laughing. He has a point though. With 3 dc already, two of whom never give us a minutes peace we are lucky if we get time alone to dtd once a week so how the hell he’ll find the time especially when he works such long hours I don’t know. But AIBU to think there are worse situations to be in lol.

OP posts:
milinhas · 18/04/2021 18:39

Perhaps the shower? But you are right, there are worse problems to have!

DrSbaitso · 18/04/2021 18:45

That is sort of funny, not in an unkind way.

He has the best excuse now. "Darling, I'd love to make dinner/watch the kids/do the hoovering, but you know what I've got to do now instead. I know, such a drag, but doctor's orders...."

JackieTheFart · 18/04/2021 18:56

When will he find the time?!

He doesn’t have to wine and dine himself for cryin out loud, honestly I’m in and out in about two minutes when I’m on my own?

JackieTheFart · 18/04/2021 18:56

That should be a ! At the end Grin

Aprilshowersandhail · 18/04/2021 18:58

My dh was never told his

Babyroobs · 18/04/2021 19:00

Honestly can't remember my dh being given this advice when he had the snip or maybe he just didn't mention it !

MelissaVonStressel · 18/04/2021 19:03

I can beat that - pun intended Grin DH failed his first sample because he hadn't 'cleared his pipes' enough. That's what the poor, poor nurse had to tell him. He was mortified - he was at work when she called as well.

EssexLioness · 18/04/2021 19:11

Husband had his op Dec ‘19 and wasn’t told this. Passed his test fine

Whysolong7 · 18/04/2021 19:15

@JackieTheFart

When will he find the time?!

He doesn’t have to wine and dine himself for cryin out loud, honestly I’m in and out in about two minutes when I’m on my own?

HAHAHAHHAA!!! Smile
FuckingFabulous · 18/04/2021 19:15

Lol. When my DH sees a doctor he always tries to be the Good Boy Patient and comply with everything. He doesn't get a sticker or anything but he still tries his best. When he had his done and was told he'd have to masturbate 3 times, he replied, "3 times a day?? O......k. Oh, a week! That's no problem, then. Easy."

VegCheeseandCrackers · 18/04/2021 20:04

I would have laughed in your situation too! It's not a bit unkind, genuinely a bit funny. 'wait til you hear my problem love, I need to have some me time in the shower three times a week, how will I cope' lol.

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 18/04/2021 20:11

The husband who thought it was 3 times a day actually made me laugh so much!

Whatalottachocca · 18/04/2021 20:17

My DH wasn’t told to do this and passed his “test” Do you think she was having a laugh?

Peregrina · 18/04/2021 20:20

Wouldn't three times a day clear his 'pipes' a bit quicker?

FuckingFabulous · 18/04/2021 20:24

@Whatalottachocca

My DH wasn’t told to do this and passed his “test” Do you think she was having a laugh?
No, my husband had his two years ago and was told to do this. Even had a leaflet explaining that there needed to be 30 ejaculations minimum over the 12 weeks before a sample would be taken.
Wearywithteens · 18/04/2021 20:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

BonnieDundee · 18/04/2021 22:17

I honestly thought they told men to have as much sex as possible after a vasectomy Blush

FASDE1517 · 18/04/2021 22:20

My husband was definitely told this too. He was chuffed with his homework!

MiMong · 18/04/2021 22:23

It was a while ago now, but I have a vague memory of dh having to do this too 😆

SarahBellam · 18/04/2021 22:25

Does he need to give himself dinner and a movie first? 😂😂😂

BerniesMittens · 18/04/2021 22:37

My ex and my DP weren't told that and still provided negative samples after 3 months...

Guess it's the way that you tell it, eh, OP.

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