To ask for help with my 8 year old sons attitude

[Username172828]

I feel like I am failing as a parent right now. My 8 year old son has turned into an absolute nightmare. His attitude and the way he speaks to me is awful. It is constantly "I hate you" and "your stupid" amongst other things everytime is he asked to do something he doesn't want to do. I've tried being consistent.. firm but fair but then ended up just shouting at him and that doesn't work. If I threaten to take away electronics he just shrugs and says "well I don't care" and that infuriates me even more. Its constantly eye rolls and strop and I feel like I'm having to walk on egg shells around him. Is this normal in an 8 year old? How do I even get through to him.

Anyone?

You are getting through to him! You know he doesn't hate you and you know he does care about having his electronics removed.

It's normal (gets worse I'm afraid). You can only mitigate your response. 'I don't care if you remove my PlayStation' simply gets an 'ok'. And then you remove it. And 'I hate you' gets a 'well that's a shame because I love you very much.'

He trying to get a reaction from you, and succeeding. Don't give him that reaction.

This is not uncommon at this age. When my boys and their friends went through a similar phase at around 8 I was told that boys can get a surge of testosterone at that age before a growth spurt which can trigger stroppiness. Someone with better knowledge than me might be able to be more helpful.
Just keep being firm but fair.

Thank you . Just such a difficult phase. He's gone from being so easy going into a teenager in what feels like overnight

Is his DF around?

Take all the fun stuff away until he has an attitude adjustment.

Does he have regular chores to do? Give him things to do every day so he doesn't have enough time to have a smart mouth.

His father is around but we are not together. His father has the same amount of difficulty with him. We have tried to make sure we are using similar methods and rules so he can't play us off each other if that makes sense.