Being taken advantage of a long time after separation - please talk some sense into me

I posted some time ago under a different username about my partner (father of my children) and the financial inequality, total lack of intimacy and the relationship basically being dead.

I plucked up the courage to end things, then lockdown hit so his new rental fell through and then here we are more than a year later, separated and living under the same roof.

I pay for everything. We are in a situation where we are living as friends, parenting the children, but I desperately want to move on.

He claims cannot afford to go. Likewise I can’t afford to pay him to go either, seeing as pretty much all of my money goes on the house, bills, food and things the kids need. I also don’t feel I should have to pay for this.

It’s got to a point it’s making me ill. I can’t sleep properly, I don’t know how to now broach the subject that enough is enough.

As not to drip feed, we are not married, house is rented in both of our names but I pay the rent and all associated bills. I genuinely don’t know where his money goes.

I don’t want to see him have to live in some hovel that isn’t suitable for the children, but I’m also becoming more and more resentful and have a constant nervous feeling in my stomach. I just don’t know what to do or say and I’m petrified of even asking him what the hell is going on and that I am not willing to live like this anymore. I hardly recognise myself. I’m constantly nervous.

I cannot leave this house and don’t feel I should have to. I love living here and the tenancy would have to be ended early resulting in a lost deposit and then further cost/stress of moving.

In my mind, he needs to ask for his family to help - even if that means just staying with them for a while until he can pay for a place of his own. I’m fully aware I’m facilitating this situation and he knows that for the sake of the kids I won’t rock the boat.

Please talk some sense into me. I know I’m being taken advantage of. How do I begin this conversation? I’m by no means a weak person, but in this situation I don’t even know who I am anymore and I can’t deal with it for much longer.