To be annoyed with partner?

[Sotired123456]

We have a 3 month old boy and a 2 year old girl together.
I know this is the first weekend people can meet in ages but originally my partner said he was meeting friends from 1:30-5:30. Which I think is fair enough as he deserves to go out and socialise.
He then says the table is booked until 8 (so I did bedtime by myself). He then texts to say he is in a taxi on the way to his friends house and he doesn't know what time he will be back.
I was up with with both at 5:30am while he had a lie in. He is also going to football tomorrow from 9pm-1pm. When do I get my break?!
Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed that he is staying out wayyyy longer than he originally said?

I think you are resentful that he his having time off and you arent, but unless you have asked and been refused it then you are perhaps being unreasonable. If he is otherwise a present partner and dad I would be happy for him to get out away from the pressures of being a dad and husband what does it matter if hes home at 8pm or 1am if kids are sound asleep safe at home with mum?

I dont think he needs to be punished with getting up in the morning either how petty. If you want free time do the same next week and then enjoy a lie in yourself. It's a slippery slope once you start to dislike each other having fun. A grown adult doesnt need a curfew.

@Sotired123456

Problem is, if I do say I want some downtime I feel really guilty :(

So what you’re saying is - you don’t want him to have down time, because you having downtime makes you feel guilty

This is a road to martyrdom, unhappiness and resentment.

He’s not doing anything wrong by spending time with friends and relaxing.

But you don’t want him to do it, because a). it means you have to pick up all the slack and b). you don’t want to do the same because you feel guilty doing it.

So your solution is that you both miss out.

Honestly, I think you need to re-frame your thinking, otherwise both of you are going to be pretty unhappy.

The easy solution is that you have a chat, agree to what you both need, and then get on with it. There really is zero need to feel guilty.

Mat leave is for the time you would have been working, say Monday to Friday 9-5. Evenings and weekends are not mat leave. Childcare needs to be split between you both at these times. As will future ferrying of the kids to dance class or scouts or whatever.

He probably hasn’t thought about this. How’s your chance to point it out. And don’t feel guilty. You are giving your child and husband the opportunity to bond. It’s good for their relationship.

Most people who are off at the weekend aim for a day each to lie in. The other one gets up and deals with dc one day, reverse the next.

It’s harder if you are bf. But if you want to you can come up with a plan that works for you both.

Don’t let him weasel out of doing his share of caring for his dc.

Nows your change to point it out.

Chance. Dammit.

Dear god will these fat thumbs never improve their aim. Between them and autocorrect.....

Just text him back and say ok that’s fine and now you won’t be going to football tomorrow that will be your down time, so he needs to make sure he is ok for the kids getting up