... to ask for tips on moving schools with Covid restrictions etc.!

[Jourdain11]

Hiya,

Not really an aibu, but I'm kind of posting here for traffic... I may be being unreasonable posting this here, haha!

We're moving to a slightly different part of London at the end of the month and we've just sorted new school places for DS (Year 1) and DD2 (Year 3). The school they're currently at is just a little too far away for them to continue. We're holding off with DD1 (Year 4) as she's currently mid-EHCP process and unlikely to be well enough for school in the next few weeks anyway (she has a neuroinflammatory condition which causes various symptoms and has just been diagnosed as having a GI motility disorder, which is likely part of her existing condition...). However, we decided it would be better to move the other two mid-term as there were places available for both in the same school and we have a friend who has kids there and they are very happy with it.

The issue is: neither DD2 nor DS are at all happy about moving school, and although they are both very outgoing, I'm worried that they may have more difficulty making friends just because of the way things are with Covid, playdates more difficult to organise, fewer wrap-around activities etc. Their current school is quite... pushy in terms of academics, so I'm not worried that they'll be behind or anything like that; more that the social aspect may be difficult at first.

We've never moved schools before, so this is basically just a question to anyone who has: what do you think I can do, or encourage them to do, to make the transition easier? I just don't want them to be unhappy... and am also keen to allay their fears about the move, since they're both getting nervous (and winding each other up, ha).

Any thoughts and suggestions are very, very, very welcome!

Forgot to say - they do get on very well with our friend's children, who will be in the same school. But unfortunately they are in different year groups.

Anyone?

Hi Jourdain, my daughter is in year 3 at a London primary, and there have been plenty of new arrivals despite the pandemic. It's been hardest for the ones who arrived while we were still on distance learning and Google classroom. Otherwise, just turning up, being in the school for lessons and playtime, really is 90% of getting settled in at that age. Playdates and after-school activities are a bonus, but not necessary for social integration (and can sometimes make kids even shyer - it's that slightly forced NOW MAKE FRIENDS atmosphere).

So, really, I would just focus on the practicalities. If they're nervous, there's no point trying to persuade them otherwise (and of course it's normal to feel nervous about change). Try to get them enthused about choosing a backpack or scooting a new route to school or whatever distractions you can muster. Make sure there's no confusion about where they're going on the first day, and that someone will be on hand to show them to their classroom if you're not allowed on site. Check if the school will allocate them a buddy/partner. Get onto the parents' WhatsApp group to avoid first day surprises (like this is the day everyone will dress in green/wear odd socks/bring a piece of junk for modelling). Hang around at the local playground for some low-pressure socialising.

Or don't do any of that, and they'll probably still be fine. I know kids in year 3 have established social groups, and cliques are beginning to form, but they're still young enough that it's all pretty fluid; most classmates will just be interested to see a new face, and are used to accommodating new arrivals. Primary school is so routine-driven, too - I think that helps make the transition. Within a week or so, your kids will be familiar with the environment and schedule, which really takes the edge off; losing that anxiety about being in the wrong place or doing the wrong thing means they'll relax, and friendships will naturally develop.

Thank you so much for that! It's helpful to have it in perspective. I don't think they are really terrified, it's more that they don't want to move! DD2 is still in "well, I'm just not going to and you can't make me" mode. DS is worried about the practicalities such as, will he be able to take his scooter, will the new school have PE, what if they don't allow running in the playground (getting a sense of his priorities, lol - fortunately I have been confident in reassuring him on these points!!).

Thanks for the suggestions about the WhatsApp group etc, that's a really good idea!

And thanks again, cause you've really reassured me!

Also, I actually laughed out loud at the thought of it being everyone wearing green / pyjamas / unicorn outfits on the first day. It would just be typical!

DD2 has now seen the new uniform and declares that she "won't be seen dead in it". She is 7 I shudder to imagine what she'll be like as a teenager!