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AIBU?

To let DD go to town alone?

25 replies

FortunesFave · 17/04/2021 12:47

She's 13....we live in Australia. Her best friend is on holiday at the moment and her other close friend is staying with a relative too far too meet up with.

She wants to catch the train into town and do some shopping...I have offered to come but nope! I'm lame apparently.

I'm worried because she's never gone actually alone...only with a small group of mates or me.

The town is not massive but it's not that small either...it's about as big as Chester say...bit bigger maybe. Takes 30 mins on train.

Am I mad to let her?

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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fairydustandpixies · 17/04/2021 12:49

I'd let her go. She'll enjoy it and will give her confidence and independence.

Seeline · 17/04/2021 12:50

If she is familiar with using the train, knows the town and has a phone, I would be happy with it. Can you pick her up in an emergency?

TaraR2020 · 17/04/2021 12:51

I don't see the issue here at all

FionnulaTheCooler · 17/04/2021 12:51

She's 13, if she's sensible I'm sure she can manage a train journey and a look around the shops. If she has her phone with her tell her you'll be texting to check in every couple of hours and you expect her to answer.

MatildaTheCat · 17/04/2021 12:52

Well lots of 13 year olds do longer and more complicated trips every day but it depends on their maturity. If she’s never done it alone would she accept you going along but keeping separate and splitting up in town to do the trip home together/apart?

kowari · 17/04/2021 12:52

DS was doing the same at 12, I'd let her go.

FoldenHoard · 17/04/2021 12:52

I would tbh if I thought she was sensible enough.

VodkaSlimline · 17/04/2021 12:53

Can't work out which way voting goes but I would let her go.

bert3400 · 17/04/2021 12:53

Each child is individual and I think you have to use your instincts to predict how she will cope . We used to live in Essex and my 13yr son wanted to go to Hertfordshire, it meant a train into London then another train out to Herts . But he is very sensible and I knew he would be fine. And he was . I think you need to put some faith in that your daughter will manage the journey and if she does get lost will have the confidence to ask an appropriate person for help.

joystir59 · 17/04/2021 12:54

You need to start letting her paddle her own canoe at some point. I travelled 5 miles to school alone, on public transport in a large town from age 11.

DdraigGoch · 17/04/2021 12:54

Some 13 year olds would be fine, some would not. Only you know your daughter.

Creamcustards · 17/04/2021 12:54

I think 13 is old enough.
She’s old enough not to get lost, old enough not to go off with strangers, if she sticks to public areas I can’t see why she wouldn’t be absolutely fine, especially with friends (take it they are nice friends?)

Lovelydiscusfish · 17/04/2021 12:54

I’d let her go if she’s sensible and not especially ditzy.

LadyIsabellaWrotham · 17/04/2021 12:55

I’d suggest going on the train together and then splitting up, but even if you don’t do that it’s not an unreasonable trip out for a 13 year old I think. Make sure her phone is fully charged and she has an emergency battery pack and cable and a piece of paper with your phone number on it.

kowari · 17/04/2021 12:55

I made DS write down my number the first time in case he lost his phone or it ran out of battery or something.

Bythemillpond · 17/04/2021 12:55

Dd was travelling by train and tubes into Central London at 10 years old. So I think 13 is old enough.

For me though is how much CCTV there is and can you track dds phone.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 17/04/2021 12:56

Sounds fine to me.

I was doing similar at that age. I even travelled 40 minutes to the nearest "big town" to go shopping on my own. I loved it!

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN · 17/04/2021 13:00

Would she still want to go if you went into town, on the same train, but not 'with' her & did your own thing & got the same train home?

If YOU are worried.

The girls started doing this into our local towns (basingstoke/reading etc) but needed to be dropped off & picked up because no public transport out where we are. Sometimes I'd stay & go do my own thing or go to a movie & have lunch or whatever, sometimes I'd go home/elsewhere.

I'd have been fine with PT had there been any.

SmokedDuck · 17/04/2021 13:08

Sure, I started using local busses at that age. It's a very good skill to have.

GintyMcGinty · 17/04/2021 13:12

I am in Scotland and live in the outskirts of a town. I have been letting my son go in town with his pals since he was 11.

Embracingthechaos · 17/04/2021 13:14

I'm on the fence. Kids mature at different rates. Personally I'd say that most 13 year olds are ready for that sort of thing, but the fact that you're so unsure that you made this post makes me think she might not be ready. You're her mum so you know her well enough to make a judgement call.

dottiedodah · 17/04/2021 13:18

This reminds me of when my DS went to New York on a School trip .At 13 also he had never even been to our local Seaside town .Teacher let them all go alone and to meet him in an hour!

dottiedodah · 17/04/2021 13:19

FWIW I would let her go.She is with chums so safety in numbers!

eatsleepread · 17/04/2021 13:21

Of course you should let her!

FortunesFave · 17/04/2021 13:22

Oh you've all made me feel better! I instinctively thought she'd be fine....but nerves you know! I'll let her go. We can collect her if anything happens.

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