To ask about Life Admin

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

What do you class as life admin. It isn't a phrase I was familiar with before seeing it on here. And given how often people cite it as one of their chores I wonder how long people spend on it. It never really occurred to me to put things like renew insurance in the same category as say cooking dinner so never really thought about it as a chores. I am now pondering who does what between me and D H with regard to it and I don't even really know what it should include.

Why are all normal everyday tasks given a noun when they used to be a verb? Life admin used to be paying bills, arranging insurance etc. I used to put my children to bed or bath them where as now everyone does 'bedtime' and 'bath time'.

Of course it exists and it takes up a lot of time and mental energy. But as it usually falls to women to do most of it, it is not really acknowledged.

@user1497787065

Why are all normal everyday tasks given a noun when they used to be a verb? Life admin used to be paying bills, arranging insurance etc. I used to put my children to bed or bath them where as now everyone does 'bedtime' and 'bath time'.

Even farting has a noun. Maybe people don't want to tell or hear your life story so life admin sums it up very well without getting suckered into the minutiae of their business/health/house hunting/bank or whatever.

Such hostility for a very useful shorthand! 😂

Life admin life admin life admin life admin life admin life admin life admin 🤷🏽‍♀️💁🏾‍♀️

@AnnaFiveTowns

Of course it exists and it takes up a lot of time and mental energy. But as it usually falls to women to do most of it, it is not really acknowledged.

Exactly! It's dismissed and minimised. 'Oh THAT thing you do for your family? You know to make their life easier, more pleasant and productive? THAT's nothing. How cringe that you acknowledge your contribution to family life'.

It is sneeriness towards the many contributions that women and mothers do because they are not paid for.

Generally, it's not complicated and a lot of it doesn't take very long. But in my experience (2 primary kids, no health issues or disability) there are millions of tiny jobs.

But if you add all those 10 minute jobs up they take aaaaaages.

And if you have a tiny portion of brain that's thinking / worrying about those million jobs that's A LOT of mental load.

As a brain dump this is me at the moment - lots of this stuff isn't getting done at the moment as I just don't have time:

Extractor fan in kitchen is broken
Boiler keeps losing pressure
Small leak in DS bedroom
New clothes for both kids
New school shoes DD
Old clothes sorted and passed on x 2
Research holiday for 2022 (hoping a travel adventure!)
Research weekend away with family for October
School reading x 2
Homework for DS
Washing
Need new tumble dryer balls
Charity shop huge box of stuff gathering on landing
MOT for one car
Sell old roof rack
Clear out shed
Post birthday cards
Sort birthday present for friend
Menu planning and food shop
Sort new investments for tax year
Tax return (ha ha won't be done until Dec!)
Put up photo frames
Replace crap old photos with nice new ones
New seat pads for chairs
Fix broken dining room chair
New double glazing in back door
Book Swimming lessons for DD
Sort holiday clubs for May
Look at childcare for summer
New passport for DD

Who doesn't have a list like that permanently in their brain???? I want to be you!!!!!

It’s a term I’d never heard of until MN.

In our house it’s

• banking, arranging/renewing insurances, utility contracts, and looking for the best deals on big purchases - DP normally does that, he likes doing it I find it boring.
• booking appointments, online grocery delivery slots, my weekly swimming slot - I do some of these on a Sunday evening whilst watching tv, or if I need to speak to someone I usually have a hour set aside mid week to do it and some appointments (hair, dental) will be made whilst I’m out and about and then transfer them over to family calendar.
• ordering/buying presents and cards, anything DC’s school/clubs require.
• at the end of the year I’ll transfer important information from that year’s calendar to next year’s such as when my car MOT expires, when the car/boiler needs a service, school holiday dates etc.

I probably take on more of the day to day/week to week “life admin” in which each task doesn’t take that long whereas DP will do the more time consuming annual “life admin”. It works for us.

I have a spreadsheet and plan ahead because I simply don't have time to remember stuff like that on a daily basis - I work FT and so does DH so it's easy for a job to become a 'tomorrow job' and before you know it your MOT is due in two days and the garage can't fit it in. Happened to me in 2017

I have two kids with different schools, hobbies etc so it makes sense to know that in 2021 their dentist appointments are on 2nd March and 2nd October (example, obvs) and then I can try and plan other things that are near the dentist on those days too.

I don't find keeping on top of my house, kids, job etc naturally easy although I do have friends who find it a breeze. TBH most (not all) of them are SAHM who don't have the added complication of a 40 hour working week on top of their life admin.

@IamnotH MOT thing happened to me this week! And I think I am quite GOOD at admin

It’s just a weird name for normal life stuff that needs done
Because ‘normal life stuff that needs to be done’ just rolls off the tongue.

I have a few bits of life admin to do today, that dh has absolutely no idea about, and would say they didn't need doing anyway if I asked him:

Set up a login and password to dc's junior ISA
Put a load of washing on, unload it, and hang it out to dry
Find something for dinner, and cook it
Wash up and put everything away
Water plants
Try and find a builder to quote for some work

@Bumberlee if anything SAHP have more time to do those things than working mums so really not a demonstration of capability.
Unless they’re a diplomat’s wife , or the unofficial manager of a child actor, or similar

Since when are routine tasks like laundry and cooking ‘life admin’? That’s what irritates me about the phrase I think, that people use it to encompass absolutely routine aspects of daily life that we all have to deal with. Do these people think that anything other than sitting on your arse doing nothing is a task that needs to be scheduled?

@sammylady37

Since when are routine tasks like laundry and cooking ‘life admin’? That’s what irritates me about the phrase I think, that people use it to encompass absolutely routine aspects of daily life that we all have to deal with. Do these people think that anything other than sitting on your arse doing nothing is a task that needs to be scheduled?

There’s work, housework, life admin, and parenting. And reclining on your chaise.

I would say anything that's organisational..

I have spreadsheets for budgets, holidays etc, calendars for appointments and reminders, looking for the best prices on insurance/utilities, Christmas/Birthdays that kinda thing.

Oh and meal planning is definitely admin! I also have weekly planner aswell as an annual calendar.

Cooking meals isn't life admin but I need to meal plan and organize an online shop. I live with teens who tell me something has run out after the fact rather than tell me on a Wed/Thursday so I can have it delivered on Friday (I've had the same delivery day for years) Researching new recipes comes under this.

My bills are paid by direct debit and I don't have loads of companies to check when it comes to renewals which are spread out through the year.

I have kids at school so there are forms and letters to read but this has been made much easier by it being online. Payment for school stuff is also digital so no hunting for envelopes and change like the old days.

I spend more time on cleaning and home maintenance like gardening than life admin.

Do these people think that anything other than sitting on your arse doing nothing is a task that needs to be scheduled?

Well... it is...?? If you only have a handful of such tasks you can do them without considering at all. But if you have lots, then they need to be scheduled. Honestly, why does admitting that annoy you? Not trying to be good. Is it because it smacks of people making a big meal out of tasks you think are easy?

Not trying to be goady, I meant to say.

Life admin I’ve done recently:

Buying a new car seat
Booking swimming and skating lessons
Booking physio appt
Kids jabs
Planning trips to see family and the back and forth that goes with that
Organising childcare for various things

Depending on circumstances it can be a huge task. If you haven’t got stable enough finances to pay your bills by direct so juggling each and every month. A friend of mine has two children with severe SEN. Her life is a constant battle with SEN related admin. For her family it’s a full time job. We have things like cars on leasing agreements so every now and again we need to source a deal, negotiate with times and terms etc. It takes considerable time and effort to make sure you get a good deal. So for many, a lot more than a couple of direct debits

My most frustrating life admin atm is repeatedly phoning my son's consultants secretary. Who always tells me she'll call me back that day and never ever does.

It seems to be making a massive meal out of normal everyday things. I see people including it in lists to justify how busy they are, but somehow most people manage to book haircuts, mots, pay bills without it really taking up a massive chunk of time and energy.

I have 5 dc, 4 of whom have disabilities so have loads of life admin. I also have dyslexia and dyspraxia so find life admin difficult. I normally spend 1-2 hours a day on it and I'm still behind. These are a few examples
Fill in dc4's dla form
Find and photocopy evidence for dc4's dla form
Check dc4's draft ehcp form and email any changes to the LA
Go through dc2's lever arch files and try and find information of test results from 10 years ago for his dla form
Fill in dc2's dla form
Find and photocopy evidence for dc2's dla form
Book sports club for dc
Sort through massive pile of paperwork and put into folders
Email photos of the dc to the grandparents
Make a list of things I want to discuss at dc2's send review meeting
Make a start on dc2's ehcp application
Try and persuade dc2 to fill in his part of the ehcp application
Try and type his answers while he stims so much that the computer desk shakes
Phone HMRC to chase up dc5's dla renewal

Then there is the meal planning, checking we haven't run out of toothpaste etc that everyone does

@Whitegrapewine

Do these people think that anything other than sitting on your arse doing nothing is a task that needs to be scheduled?

Well... it is...?? If you only have a handful of such tasks you can do them without considering at all. But if you have lots, then they need to be scheduled. Honestly, why does admitting that annoy you? Not trying to be good. Is it because it smacks of people making a big meal out of tasks you think are easy?

But when does something stop being just part of life and start being a ‘task’ that needs to be ‘scheduled’ as part of ‘life admin’?

Why not start scheduling in brushing teeth and going to the loo, if people think scheduling in eating and cooking, laundry, basic parenting and other such basic day to day things require scheduling and headspace. It just seems to be to be making a huge deal out of everything when not everything warrants that.

I know a woman who has “busy organising!!!!” as her WhatsApp status/tagline. This woman is a SAHM, but her children are all adults and are either away at university or working, it is just her and her working husband at home. She is not involved in any community groups/agencies that might require a lot of admin. Her ‘life admin’ is basically cooking, grocery shopping and managing household admin such as annual house insurance, car insurance etc. Yet the way she talks about it, anyone would think she does the equivalent of 2 full time jobs. She is spectacularly in self aware too, and regularly talks about how busy she is when she’s in a group with women who work full time, plus have small kids at home. I find it quite grating, tbh.

I have on average 4 good hours in me per day.

Life admin saps my energy, takes time I would rather be doing other stuff, but as pp said, when you have ADD, it's mind blowing.

Calling it something, life admin, whatever, gives it a value that it deserves. I mostly just call it The Stuff.