To feel left behind, lonely, and shit watching everybody else go back to normal?

[ferryblue]

Has anybody else found their mental health has tanked even more since things reopened on April 12th? The lockdowns have taken everything from me, and I feel like everybody else is going out to enjoy life again (I’m in my early 20s) and I’m left behind.

Lockdown killed my relationship because he lived 80 miles away and it was never going to survive it, my job went under (haven’t been able to find work since), my friends have all cut me off having clearly decided to have smaller social circles, and I’m stuck in a grotty flat on universal credit. I can’t afford to continue driving lessons. I had a horrendous miscarriage in May 2020 which I’m still very upset over. It was awful in Summer 2020 when things reopened because all over social media people were out. Lovely lunch dates and pub nights, long walks and beach visits with family and friends. And I was stuck with nothing. My family are a waste of space. I was selfishly relieved when the January lockdown happened because suddenly I wasn’t alone anymore, everybody else was suffering too. My heart aches every day for my baby and the purpose they would have given me.

Now since April 12th I’ve been feeling shitter then I ever have done and am having daily panic attacks. Every time I go on social media and see somebody’s pictures of them sat in a sunny beer garden or something I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart. Things have opened up for other people, not for me. I don’t feel part of society. It’s gotten to the point where I was excited when my universal credit work coach told me I’d be asked to come into the job centre for appointments from next week rather than the phone calls, because it’s actually something to fucking do and somewhere to go. There aren’t even any walks where I live. My skin has become white as a sheet and I feel sickly all of the time because of my lifestyle. I don’t know how to make friends or change things. I feel it’d be easier if I were a man, it’s socially acceptable for a man to go to the pub on his own and get talking to randoms to make friends, it’d be seen as weird and unsafe for a woman to do so.

I’m rotting away.

Hello OP get in touch with MIND the mental health charity, they might have a local branch near you. My friend found them v helpful after he lost his job last year. They have lots of different support options and a gardening club he attends weekly. He's now made lots of friends through the gardening club & it's his 1st time gardening!

All local colleges have received government funding to provide free professional skills courses. I've enrolled on the level 2 online business administration course. Have a look at your local college and see what's available.

My local Rotary club has a 6 week free work skills course which goes through your CV & interview skills etc. It's all online via zoom atm so it's another way to connect with people. Contact your local rotary club and see if they have a job club.

nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/find-a-course/the-skills-toolkit

nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/find-a-course/where-to-find-free-online-learning

www.rotaryjobclub.org/ this one is for Godalming but do a search for your local area.

I found the last few days really tough, too, OP but I hadn't thought that there might be a connection with lockdown ending.

I lost my DP during the November "circuit breaker" lockdown, and last week felt almost as bad as I did when it first happened, but I put it down to stress around domestic stuff and work that needs doing in the house.

Being skint does make it harder to find enjoyable things to do, going for a pub lunch will bust the budget for the week. The weather forecast is warmer for next week, so maybe taking a book to a park and sitting outdoors for a while might give you a bit of a lift? I know that being out of doors improves my mood no end.

And volunteering is a great idea. You'll meet people, have the satisfaction of doing something useful, and it may lead to something better. The organisation I work for often employs people who have volunteered for them. Even if doesn't, it'll show prospective employers that you aren't a lazy sod who sits watching tv all day.

I also think some sort of support to help you process the loss of your baby might be beneficial. You're bereaved, just the same as I am, and it's incredibly hard to process grief when we're all in isolation.

I hope things improve for you soon.

Hi OP sorry for your loss.

Have a look to see if there is a job club near you, as an example, I know job clubs in Winchester and Basingstoke in Hampshire. Even if they are only online, you will meet people.

Are there online networking events near you? You don't have to be running your own business to attend, it's absolutely ok to say "I lost my job and am exploring other options and want to meet business contacts". Many are free at the moment as they are online.

Lots of other good advice on here.

Also - look at Futurelearn - they have some courses that are completely free, you don't even have to pay for the certificates at the end. That will help boost your skills, give you something to do, and have something to go on your CV.