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Will I always be the outsider?

2 replies

Happyborthday · 16/04/2021 21:10

I have a 15 month old who is the absolute light of my life. Up until recently she was an absolute mummies girl, lots of tantrums and stropping when boundaries are put in and she prefers daddy at the moment. I know it's phases, still hurts a little but it's got me thinking.
DH has 3 older kids, age 9- early teens. I have a nice relationship with them, they're lovely children, adore their little sister and completely dote on her. She is so lucky to have so much love.
When they're here they do lots of group cuddles with their dad and nice things, I always say they don't have to include the little one so they get just dad time but they always want her there. Which is wonderful, I'm so happy they consider her their proper sister.

So I know I sound like a knob. But will I always be the outsider? Even to my little girl will she grow up with her dad and her siblings and think of me as other? I've tried everything to be respectful to my DSCs mum and not overbear so they get just dad time, I love them a lot but of course I'm not their 'proper' family and now I worry that my daughter will pick up on that and no want me either.

So not to drip feed, I have had pnd (anxiety no problems bonding) but it's mostly in check now. I'm totally prepared for a bit of a pasting because- step-mum.

OP posts:

Zoecarter · 16/04/2021 21:13

Oh bless you. No she won’t be you’re her mum you will be her constant. My son is going threw a mummy phase at the moment and I remember being jelouse of him going threw a daddy phase.
Now I can’t wait for the break 😂😂


PumpkinPie2016 · 16/04/2021 21:52

You sound like a lovely mum and step mum. You definitely won't be an outsider to your daughter (and your step children probably see you as very much part of their world).

All young babies/kids go through phases of preferring one parent over the other, or sometimes neither - my DS today announced that Grandma is the best in the world 😂 It usually depends on who isn't stopping them from doing/having something they want!

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