Shy at work, anyone else?

[Primark872]

Very recently started a new job. I've always been shy and quiet, and I've joined a team of females who are all very extroverted.
They're all really nice and helpful, can't say a bad word about them.
They describe themselves as 'mad' and it's the kind of job where you've got to be around each other most of the time.
They've picked up on the fact that I'm quiet, not in a rude way but have made allusion to it.
They have all known each other 1-10 plus years and I've met them 3 times so naturally they will be more comfortable with each other.
I show an interest in them and they ask about me too, and have shown me a lot in the job, but for some reason I hate sharing stories about myself with people I don't know well, e.g. "Omg guess what happened to me yesterday". It's a self esteem thing but I suppose I feel like they'll find it weird or boring.
I don't want them to think I'm boring or that I don't fit in the team. Anyone else feel this way at work? I wish there were more of a mix of personalities.

Give it time. If you're introverted it's unrealistic to waltz into an established group and become instant bosom buddies. If in 6 months time this is still a problem, then worry, but after 3 times? Pfft. You'll be comfortable around them simply because you are around them all the time, and that's human nature. Think of that 'friend' from secondary school who you didn't really have much in common with but hung around with every day simply because you shared every class.

Stop overthinking, you'll get there.

They would probably do my head in, people that describe themselves as "mad" or "crazy" I generally avoid.

Shy and quiet here too.

As PP said above though it's early days in your new job and just like us quiet types get even quieter in new situations I find the extroverts can be more exaggerated around new people too so give them a chance to relax around you too.

I bet you'll find some of them aren't quite so much in the long run and you'll meet in the middle! Maybe even make some great friends.

They're all really nice and helpful, can't say a bad word about them.

This is a really good starting point - at least you don’t hate them!

Friendly working relationships take a while to establish, IME. And in some jobs you’ll make really good friends, in others you’ll just have acquaintances which is fine too.

In my old job, I was polite but reserved for the first year or so. (I’m also an introvert). It took a while but I ended up working there for 7 years and I made some friends for life!

I’m now in a new job and starting the whole process again. It sounds like you have nice, welcoming colleagues though which is great. Continue as you are and don’t force it, stronger, more comfortable friendships take time to build.

Yes I used to be shy at work - am naturally introverted and what I thought was just keeping myself to myself and getting on with work was coming across to others as me being stuck up and unfriendly...

I'm better now, would still probably naturally prefer more of a quiet working environment than the 'we're mad here' loud bubbly in-each- other's-business kind of team you describe (you have my sympathies!), but I have taught myself to get on well with all sorts of different people. What helped me was getting really really good at small talk, so as to avoid any awkward silences (well, what others perceive as awkward, see above ) - I've got a whole range of uncontroversial topics now ready to start a light conversation on, TV, holidays, weather that kind of thing. It doesn't have to be super personal 'OMG' drama stuff....

Also I take advantage of the fact my analytical brain is good at retaining facts and remember lots of details about my coworkers partners, families, hobbies and so on, so I'm able to ask them lots of questions about themselves, their weekends etc which most extroverts like answering - in fact most people like talking about themselves and appreciate you showing an interest, so so long as you read any hints that they aren't comfortable answering certain things, you're usually onto a good thing there! Or if need be I share fairly mundane info in exchange about my own life - like you I don't like oversharing but it's nice to talk about things like what you plan to do on your holidays etc.

I suspect I would still be seen as one of the quieter ones on the team, possibly a bit 'boring' and to some extent it feels a bit false as I do tend to fake a bit of interest in some things which I actually find a bit tedious (like other people's holiday plans ), but at least I don't get called 'up myself' or snobby any more - to my face anyway . You sound like you are getting on fine, not everyone can be the loudest one (and for some reason people do like to point out to shy people that they're being really quiet, I don't know if they think it'll somehow help or what ) but it doesn't mean your teammates are actually annoyed by it?

Yes I'm shy and quiet at work. I find small talk difficult and I have to get to know people well before I start sharing stories. At a previous job, they made such a fuss over my being shy and quiet, it made it even worse. I think they found me stand offish. One boss remarked at a staff meal that they thought I'd be different out of work but I was just as quiet as ever
I'm a lot better now though. I listen, find out what people are interested in and ask questions around that.

Thanks a lot for the support everyone.
Yeah, I'll try to keep doing as I am doing, it would be easier if there were a mix of personalities and temperaments rather than a whole group of very extroverted people as I feel like I really stick out more.

I'll just try to give it time and not worry too much :)