To think dog threads get overly nasty on here

[bunniesanddaisies]

I know there are a handful of idiots who will get a dog despite working 8-6 Monday to Friday and then at weekends the kids have clubs so ... but come on.

Unfortunately, over the fifteen years or so that span a dogs life, things can dramatically change and sometimes rehoming a dog is the best thing you can do for you and for the dog. I don’t mean that to sound flippant by the way.

I’ve known dogs rehomed because of disability, death, dramatic change in circumstances (like having to move to rented accommodation) - it’s almost always because of stress and adding to it by making the person feel like the worst person in the world doesn’t help!

And sometimes a dog just isn’t suited to one person or to one family and it’s OK to be honest about that too.

I’m sure half the posts about regretting dogs would be deleted in a second if they were about regretting kids!

YANBU plenty of crazy dog haters

YANBU Plenty of crazy dog lovers.

I don't think nasty responses are unique to dog threads, AIBU in general can be a horrible forum some days, with poster after poster just piling on.

However, there does seem to be a general viewpoint on Mumsnet that unless you own a retired greyhound whom you rehomed from a rescue centre then you are an awful person.

Hyperbole of course, but you get my point.

The anti-rehoming thing seems to be a bit of a Mumsnet phenomenon. I haven't seen that sentiment so strongly expressed in most other places (though there's probably some nutty dog groups of Facebook which are even worse).

I don't see a problem in rehoming a dog if need be, as long as it isn't replaced a bit later by another.

It's only a dog. Better that than it drives the locals nuts barking all day or gets vicious, or both.

phodopus

I agree. I'm a veterinary nurse and I've never worked anywhere where anyone thinks badly of someone for buying a dog instead of rehoming, as we are all too aware of the issues rehomed pets can have and that they are not for everyone.

All we ask is that people do their research and don't buy from a puppy farm.

MN is weird about dogs.

It's also weird about laundry, towels, bathing, sex, carpets, toilet roll, relationships, portion sizes, toilet brushes, neighbours, video games, public transport...

Just ignore the hysteria and batshittery.

phodopus

Apologies, I think I misunderstood your comment about rehoming.

Yes, I've seen some very harsh responses to posters asking for help. YANBU

It’s not just AIBU though. The doghouse topic is toxic in the extreme. Posters have in fact been banned because of their attitudes on the doghouse.

And it’s not just an anti rehoming thing. Anyone who dares buy a puppy, who doesn’t rehome (the term adopt don’t shop makes me want to throw things,) who struggles with a puppy or on one memorable thread admits to loving their children more than their dog is absolutely torn apart.

I’ve seen a few posts where a poster is struggling with a puppy and the response from some has been “rehome it and never get another animal.”

And that thread about loving the children more than the dog should have been in classics....

@Lockheart

MN is weird about dogs.

It's also weird about laundry, towels, bathing, sex, carpets, toilet roll, relationships, portion sizes, toilet brushes, neighbours, video games, public transport...

Just ignore the hysteria and batshittery.

This is basically true and I think it's getting worse. I've been on here for years off and on and I really think I've never seen such a high % of rude posts that seem to specifically want to hurt the OP as there have ben over the last year or so.

I know the most recent dog-thread was one I eventually hid from my view because one poster, in particular, clearly had red mist and couldn't see they were not helping anyone. Not even the dog involved.

But it's not just dogs. It's a general and rising level of intolerance to the idea that living in a society means there will be tons of things other people do that impact your life.

It's just not realistic to expect to live in a bubble in which you never hear a peep from next door, never walk by a screaming child, never share a train carriage with people talking excitedly, never see a car bigger than you personally think it should be, and so on.

Yes, life is better is we all agree some basic standards to live by. But the standard at the moment seems to be 'if I have any inkling of someone else's choices impacting me, I have been hard done by'.

Yeah it’s the ‘never get another dog’ thing that gets me - I mean, let’s say you used to work PT and then your spouse loses their job and gets another that doesn’t pay as well so you go back FT but dog walkers are expensive and so you sadly decide to rehome. Really, you are the font of all evil who should never be allowed to have so much as a goldfish?

Mumsnet is just weird about dogs in n general ,they have to be walked for hours every day ,but never ,ever off the lead ,you must always get your dog from a rescue centre even if you don't want an eight year old staffie ,otherwise you are not a true dog lover ,I just take it all with a pinch of salt.

The doghouse topic is toxic in the extreme.

I hardly ever go to the topic anymore because some posters seem to think it's their way or no way at all.

They would claim to love dogs but I think if it really were for the love of dogs they would do more to support the people posting. Telling someone to never get a dog again does nothing to help the dog they have (and probably won't actually put them off getting another but might put them off asking for help again). They don't seem to recognise they have a chance to indirectly make a dog's life a little it better by being helpful and supportive of someone, even if they don't approve of their choices.

I will say, there are some posters who genuinely seem to want to help and support - but they often get drowned out.

I once asked in the Doghouse about breeding from my dog. Jesus, you'd think I was the devil's spawn, just longing to start a puppy farm with her tied down all day in a cage.

It seems to be full of people who like throwing their weight around and insisting that their way IS THE ONLY WAY to look after, or get, dogs.

Yeah it’s the ‘never get another dog’ thing that gets me - I mean, let’s say you used to work PT and then your spouse loses their job and gets another that doesn’t pay as well so you go back FT but dog walkers are expensive and so you sadly decide to rehome. Really, you are the font of all evil who should never be allowed to have so much as a goldfish?
I think that friends really. The above is more than reasonable if it gets to the point that's electricity or the dog.

Sadly, I've seen a similar case to the above when a colleague had to give up the puppy she had got 6 months earlier and had to go FT because she couldn't afford doggy daycare nor a dog walker, but the month later, she was off to Florida (for a well deserved break) and 6 months later was pregnant.

It was certainly the best decision for the dog but had little sympathy for my colleague.

All controversial issues get nasty on here.

I once asked in the Doghouse about breeding from my dog. Jesus, you'd think I was the devil's spawn, just longing to start a puppy farm with her tied down all day in a cage
Oh yes, that's an absolute crime! You see, only experts know how to do it properly and these experts somehow never started as novice themselves.

They must keep very secret where they got their bachelor degree in dog breeding

I agree op! And its not just dogs...people get worked up about all sorts of things on here and the debate becomes extraordinarily polarised, whereas in RL I think (well I hope) the debate would be a little more tempered.

I must admit, there is something about animals that seems to bring out the very worst in people telling others what to do. I am a horse owner and you get all sorts of know-alls on livery yards whose primary pleasure in life seems to point out the mistakes people are making. That's all well and good IF it is done quietly and in the spirit of genuine helpfulness, but mostly it is done publicly to shame and make the perpetrator feel good about themselves.

The doghouse topic is particularly bonkers.
I avoid it unless desperate.
I sometimes thinking it's only the 'I need to rehome' or puppy titled threads that get attention.
If it's a title about something where you can't have a fight the so called dog experts are nowhere to be seen.

Im a vet nurse and absolutely agree that sometimes it is the best option to rehome if circumstances have changed or the dog isnt suited etc.

However, it isn't always possible to find suitable homes as rescues are over run. Then there are the rescues that rehome inappropriately, and don't even get me started on foreign rescue, that is a whole can of worms.

It is NEVER just a dog EVER. Not when you have to comfort the old man having to PTS his dog that has been his only companion since his wife died. Or the dog that is a companion to an autistic child and their bond is phenomenal. Never 'just a dog'

I dont tend to post on dog related posts unless i have positive feedback or adbice to offer. Ive had to sit on ky fongers many times. Just as i have to bite my tongue in clinic when people make bad decisions that affect animal welfare . I should point out that by far most people ate coming from a place of kindness and love.

Oh yes, that's an absolute crime! You see, only experts know how to do it properly and these experts somehow never started as novice themselves.

Definitely!
I'm baffled by the people who think these expert breeders are experienced, all-powerful geneticists who create "artisanally crafted" super dogs with perfect health and personalities. Just letting nature take its course with two unrelated dogs would clearly result in a litter of malformed puppies destined for short lives of misery. And don't even get them started on the nightmare that is crossing breeds!

Oh and dog rescues can often be the bane of our lives. They are often run by people that know so much better than professionslly trained vets and nurses

Rescues aren’t particularly overrun though lem

Many dogs go in minutes!