How do I celebrate my own birthday?

[JM55]

Following on from my previous thread about my husband ruining my birthday, please can I ask for suggestions to how I can celebrate my own birthday?
My birth family was huge, lots of cousins etc so we all celebrated birthdays (just about any excuse to party)
I feel very lonely now. No family or friends nearby.
How would you celebrate if you were me? I need to do something to mark my 42nd and learn to practice self love. I want to do something to drown memories of yesterday.

Buy a foot spa , get some swanky fizzy tablets to put in it, have a gin, a fag, a pie and put your favourite film on.
Balloons are out, flower petal confetti is in.
A jolly good pudding would be excellent with lashings of squirty cream.
Whilst you're doing this, shlepp over to Etsy and buy a silver bracelet.
Get your favourite takeaway delivered( including an extra starter that you may have previously overlooked) to trough on after your pie.
Hotel Chocolat do home deliveries so you might need to spaff some money on that, but make sure that you order the liqueur selection.
You'll also need to look really good too, so get yourself a nice frock too.
Play your favourite music, get A N Other to do your chores for the day ( if you you can) else pay for a cleaner to pop in for two hours to do your unpleasant scrubby bits.

You'll also need to buy a pretty plant, a cake, some perfume, a new comfy cushion, new slippers and a handbag.

Then get a mirror and tell yourself just how beautiful and wonderful you are.

If you can't afford all the fripperies that I've mentioned; please remember to get the mirror.

Happy Birthday 🎂

@1Morewineplease you've set the groundwork for my birthday in May. Thank you!

You’re very welcome.
Enjoy your day. 💐

Not read your other thread, but, if I'm reading it right, and your 42nd birthday is a year away, then why not invite all your extended family to a party / family gathering.
Make it an afternoon 'do' so they can travel there and back in a day if you like. Say you realise it isn't a 'big birthday' but just felt like seeing everyone after the last year we've had and are just using your birthday as a hook to hang it on.

Alternatively, arrange something with friends. A meal out, or whatever you like to do.

I took the afternoon off and made myself a roast dinner and a chocolate cake. Later I had a walk with a friend and opened gifts and cards, including some I got for myself from amazon
I the evening I watched a film with a very nice bottle of wine, cheese and biscuits and more of the cake. It was wonderful!

For similar reasons I organised my own 30th a few years ago.

I hired a family friend as a caterer to do a four course meal for 18 friends and turned my living room into a restaurant complete with flowers, candles, table cloths and nice place settings. I asked all guests to RSVP as a catered event, to dress to impress and to bring something fizzy. I got my hair done and bought nice new make up especially and wore a floor length backless gown with a tiara that one of my guests gifted me

It was one of the best nights I’ve ever had and certainly the best 30th I’ve been too. It cost a grand in total and though it’s not something I’d do every year by an stretch I’ll certainly do it again for my 40th

@abstractprojection

For similar reasons I organised my own 30th a few years ago.

I hired a family friend as a caterer to do a four course meal for 18 friends and turned my living room into a restaurant complete with flowers, candles, table cloths and nice place settings. I asked all guests to RSVP as a catered event, to dress to impress and to bring something fizzy. I got my hair done and bought nice new make up especially and wore a floor length backless gown with a tiara that one of my guests gifted me

It was one of the best nights I’ve ever had and certainly the best 30th I’ve been too. It cost a grand in total and though it’s not something I’d do every year by an stretch I’ll certainly do it again for my 40th

No family and friends nearby...

Sorry that your husband was such a shit, OP.

Is there anywhere you would like to go, that you'd be happy to go on your own?

Or, how about, see a solicitor? (and I'm not joking)

I always do my own birthday - only you can truly know what you want to do to celebrate, it can change every year. I always get a new book, wine, a take-away, new pyjamas/bedsocks; my favourite flowers and chocolates often. I’ve seen friends sometimes.
My ex husband completely “forgot” my 30th living somewhere very remote and on a Sunday, the children couldn’t even buy me something from the local shop. I vowed never to rely on anybody else for my contentment again...divorced him, met an amazingly sweet, decent man who I married but even now years later I do what makes me happy for my birthday. He and the children always give me the extras, cuddles and love. Love yourself first. Have a happy 42nd when it comes.
And, seriously, you do not have to put up with disrespectful, mean husbands. Life is too short.

I'd order an afternoon tea from a local shop and take it on a massive hike somewhere in the peak district or lake district. Enjoying that and a big flask of tea at the top followed by a takeaway when i get home

Although in your shoes op I'd be more likely to take dhs debit card and enjoy myself at the shops on him, prick

Thanks all. Great ideas. I’m still so pissed with DH, I could start by getting my mood better. Will go for a walk in the woods and then make a list of lovely things I wanna do for myself.

I'm 60 in May and will be on my own for the day. I now have ideas to fill the day

I usually have a nap on my birthday

@1Morewineplease

Buy a foot spa , get some swanky fizzy tablets to put in it, have a gin, a fag, a pie and put your favourite film on. Balloons are out, flower petal confetti is in. A jolly good pudding would be excellent with lashings of squirty cream. Whilst you're doing this, shlepp over to Etsy and buy a silver bracelet. Get your favourite takeaway delivered( including an extra starter that you may have previously overlooked) to trough on after your pie. Hotel Chocolat do home deliveries so you might need to spaff some money on that, but make sure that you order the liqueur selection. You'll also need to look really good too, so get yourself a nice frock too. Play your favourite music, get A N Other to do your chores for the day ( if you you can) else pay for a cleaner to pop in for two hours to do your unpleasant scrubby bits.

You'll also need to buy a pretty plant, a cake, some perfume, a new comfy cushion, new slippers and a handbag.

Then get a mirror and tell yourself just how beautiful and wonderful you are.

If you can't afford all the fripperies that I've mentioned; please remember to get the mirror.

Happy Birthday 🎂

Brilliant.

Especially the pie

I went on a Nile cruise for my 42nd birthday. It was excellent.

I’d take myself out for a day of shopping and pampering with a nice lunch I’d you can find somewhere with outside seating.

Hiya, my H is a bit rubbish at birthdays, last year was the worst, so this year I booked an afternoon tea to collect, I set the table up and just let my 1yo eat whatever she could grab from it. We had fun feeding each other and the food was delicious.
Your kids won't know you booked it yourself, they'll just be happy to have a party with you.
I also set out my expectations better with H, told him I was doing a party with the baby (week day so he was at work) and it meant he did cards and presents in advance which was better than last year.
It is rubbish though OP, we should be made to feel special, but we can make ourselves feel special too.

I’d take myself away for a romantic night in a B&B , restaurant dinner, bottle of wine from the bottom of the list, some luxury bath products, new pajamas and a new book to keep me company.

What are your favourite things to do? Eat? Drink? Favourite scenery?
Do you drive? Can you take yourself off to a B&B or out for the day?

I don't have a DH or any family near me, I still buy myself birthday gifts, this year I upgraded my car and bought myself some perfume I've wanted for a while.

Book a hotel room. Doesn't have to be expensive, premier inn would do! Arrive early, go for coffee and cake, look round the shops, buy new pjs and whatever else takes your fancy. Lots of delicious snacks picked up on your travels. Early dinner to beat the crowds then back to your room with new pjs, bottle of bubbles, face mask, snacks, magazine, tv. Stay up late. Sleep in, followed by a delicious breakfast.

I can't do much on my actual birthday because it's in March and the weather isn't good. So I plan a day in lieu. It's either a show or a nice day out. I like going on my own so I don't have to compromise. Windsor Castle and Hampton court palace are on my list. As are a few places in Yorkshire and Scotland. Wilkinson's have got some lovely summer nail varnishes in for £1.60. spoiling yourself doesn't have to be expensive.

@JM55

Thanks all. Great ideas. I’m still so pissed with DH, I could start by getting my mood better. Will go for a walk in the woods and then make a list of lovely things I wanna do for myself.

I thought the whole point of that previous thread was that walks and the like are totally inappropriate for your disabilities and something you cannot enjoy? A walk in the woods seems inappropriate for your extensive needs. Surely?

@BusyLizzie61got me confused with someone else?

For me, DH does a good job, but I'm a bit short on friends and family otherwise. Pre covid, my best birthday I had cake for breakfast (ordered from Sponge and delivered), went out, had my hair done, had a brow shape, Bobbi Brown makeup lesson (they did a full face as it was my birthday), went and had coffee and more cake. Had my nails done, lunch, a lovely personal shopper session in JL and bought a new outfit. Swished around feeling great, bought a book and stuff.
Then home for a nice takeaway.
It made it a really special 'me' day without being dependent on anyone else

@1Morewineplease

Buy a foot spa , get some swanky fizzy tablets to put in it, have a gin, a fag, a pie and put your favourite film on. Balloons are out, flower petal confetti is in. A jolly good pudding would be excellent with lashings of squirty cream. Whilst you're doing this, shlepp over to Etsy and buy a silver bracelet. Get your favourite takeaway delivered( including an extra starter that you may have previously overlooked) to trough on after your pie. Hotel Chocolat do home deliveries so you might need to spaff some money on that, but make sure that you order the liqueur selection. You'll also need to look really good too, so get yourself a nice frock too. Play your favourite music, get A N Other to do your chores for the day ( if you you can) else pay for a cleaner to pop in for two hours to do your unpleasant scrubby bits.

You'll also need to buy a pretty plant, a cake, some perfume, a new comfy cushion, new slippers and a handbag.

Then get a mirror and tell yourself just how beautiful and wonderful you are.

If you can't afford all the fripperies that I've mentioned; please remember to get the mirror.

Happy Birthday 🎂

Just this, exactly this. @1Morewineplease you have this spot on.

I saw your other thread, good for you for giving yourself a happy belated birthday!! Have some birthday flowers

Can you book yourself a hotel room - tell them your water is broken at home or something. Or that you are needing a break from a tense home situation (you are! And totally allowed within Covid rules to book a hotel room for this purpose.) Personal care is allowed now so if you can find somewhere, you could get a massage, or your nails done if you enjoy that.

Otherwise, what do YOU like? It's your birthday so it's all about you today! What do you enjoy, we'll give you some suggestions.

It sounds a bit odd, and it might not be for you, but if you like ASMR videos look up Gentle Whispering and personal attention. It's nothing pervy or weird, just nice ASMR videos that focus on you. It can be very enjoyable and relaxing if it's your thing.