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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask how separated parents calculate school holidays

3 replies

Flappypants · 15/04/2021 14:50

Hi MN

Please help me with something. My narc and controlling ex is using a very strange method of calculating the school holidays which should be half and half. For example, the DC ended the term on Weds 31st March, and went to him as Weds are his regular days and it ran into his weekend. He did not count that first night. The DC came to me for a chunk of time in the middle of the holiday and have gone back to him and will go back on Monday 19th straight off the back of his weekend. He did not count this last weekend in his calculations arguing that the school website says that the holiday is from the 1st April to 16th, and he has simply split that time period. Therefore the 19 nights that we had would end up with him having 11 nights and me only 8.

Surely people count the total number of nights that the children are off? He is trying to pull a massive fast one on me!!

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 15/04/2021 14:58

Actually I agree with him. The holidays shouldn’t include the normal arrangements. It’s the extra days that the children are off.

For example if they are off for two weeks that’s ten days not at school that childcare is needed for; even though in reality they are not at school for sixteen days. Three weekends.

So if it’s half the school holidays then you are responsible for five week days each plus whatever normally happens at weekends

Mrshyat · 15/04/2021 15:22

I would expect you'd split the actual (weekdays) off for it to be fair. Unless your weekends are heavily favoured for one parent?

SparklyLeprechaun · 15/04/2021 15:26

I'd count week days only. Surely it evens out over the year, as you will have her over some school holidays weekends, unless you've got an arrangement where he gets all the weekends?

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