To expect friends to watch their dc's at party?

[Lentils]

I am really livid right now. Had a party for 3 yo dd and friend's were over with their 4 yo and 2 yo ds. The boys were jumping on furniture with their shoes on, including a table, despite me saying take your shoes off. The mother was following her 2 yo with food trying to get him to eat, so there is food all over the lounge, some on the furniture. Older son took down an old paperweight from a bookshelf and threw it against the coffee table leaving half inch dents in it. The father was right there and said to me when I came in fuming, oh sorry tried to get it off him with no luck. Is it unreasonable of me to think they are completely out of order???

YANBU - are you going to say something? Hard to but I suppose it depends on how close they are to you.

exactly--how do you say something. They knew I was upset, and I did try to direct their dcs when they werent doing anything.

YANBU at all! I experience same thing sometimes when parents collect their children from nursery - allow them to climb on tables, throw toys etc. Of course when you try to re-direct child they ignore you because mums there and she hasn't said anything!

yanbu
don't have them back,
but dont think i would do anything else now.

Problem is we were really good friends before dcs and now we have such different views on them that it just seems it will never be the same.

hmm.
give their dc's a good telling off yourself, if they come round again. or if you are such good friends tell them you don;t tolerate that behaviour

i have experienced same thing, is v difficult when you are friends with people before kids and then have different ideas... i have an incredibly houseproud friend who used to feed her baby on my cream sofa and there'd be tomato based puree everywhere, something she wouldn't have done in a million years in her own house, drove me nuts. these days i just have friends who i see WITH their kids and others who i try to see for evenings out WITHOUT kids....

YANBU - re the paperweight thing - I've got a friend whose ds often had to 'borrow' a toy from the toddler group to go home with - because the mum 'couldn't get it off him' ie without him kicking up a fuss (with the toddler group leader's permission of course). I mean, who is in charge, the child or parent??

My sister used to let her dd jump all over my mums expensive furniture. She would be there jumping all over the table in her shoes and my sister would just let her. THat really used to piss me off, and my mum never said anything, she's too soft.

The worst thing is when a parent apathetically and ineffectually tells their child to stop. If you plan to tell your child off, damn well do it properly. Make them notice or there's no point!

Agnes