To be depressed about net worth

[Shtsandgiggles]

Am I unreasonable to be depressed that by the age of forty I have in effect no more money than I did when I was twenty

I rent a property and live happily day to day but not building up any equity

Also feel that if I lost my job tomorrow the life I know would be gone as I can only live in the house as long as I can pay the rent

At least if I brought there would of been money in the house and something to show for the past twenty years of living there

I didn’t vote because you are both NBU and BU.

It’s not unreasonable to be depressed about these things, but it is unreasonable not to try and reframe it. Are you happy day to day? Is this something you want to change- if so, how much do you want it? Idly, in passing thought, or when you wake up you think of it?

Many people live as you do and your net worth should not be considered in purely financial terms. Your “worth” is far more than that. What impact do you have?

looks it from the other side - if you lost your job tomorrow you would get help with rent payments
if i lost my job tomorrow im fucked as i wont get help with my mortgage

A bit of both. You "can't take it with you" as they say, so I would value a life well lived over hoarding wealth.

But on the other hand, if it is bothering you, it certainly isn't too late to turn it round.

I had 0 net worth at 30 and a decade later i am in such a different place - through my own work to climb the career ladder and saving. (Realise that isn't possible or indeed desirable for everyone. But I am glad I didn't give up hope)

When I see twenty year old in the office and I see what they have, I would of thought at the age of 40 I would of build something up

Feels like I'm in the same place as them but should of moved on and higher

I guess the obvious question is why didn’t you? What’s changed to make you value building assets now when you didn’t before?

I totally get that it’s just not possible for some but you seem to have just expected it to happen without you...

What’s the barrier? Could you rent in a cheaper area or house share to build up more savings?

It depends on your personal values, OP.

If it's really important to you to increase your net worth at the expense of your daily quality of life, then yes, it makes sense to do something about it.

But if you're only bothered by it when you compare yourself to a specific colleague, I'd query whether it's really an issue for you outside of that context. It doesn't sound like you're thinking about your net worth a lot if you've only just realised you had financial goals which have fallen by the wayside.

When I see twenty year old in the office and I see what they have, I would of thought at the age of 40 I would of build something up

In what way? What were you trying to build up? A business? Investments?

When I was a child I believed that you progressed through life and would eventually become more secure as time went on

The high prices of property has stopped me from getting on the property ladder so subsequently I have never built up that security

It's like a loop of paying rent to live in the house but in a sense it just secures one more month and nothing else

Can't U try to save a small bit each month like £100 onto a savings pot. Or u could have saved over the years, why didn't u? Not judging just purely asking. I try to save what I can but over the years when younger I didn't do much and spent lots etc how I'm also renting like u and 37 years of age so nearing the dreaded 40 with no property also

I have some savings but not enough, a few grand maybe,

When I look how much properties have been going up by its more than I could save each month just to keep up

Looked into shared ownership but with the costs involved it was out of my price range

Been happy renting but now I've hit 40 just thinking about things differently

I can't be the only person on mumsnet hitting forty and renting and renting so guess other people survive like this long term

To be honest, yes this would concern me. I would be particularly worried about losing the quality of daily life if you lost your job. Do you have a retirement plan? At some point you'll need to stop working and how will you afford rent at that time? If you have a plan and a pension and feel confident about being able to afford to live in retirement then this wouldn't bother me nearly as much. If you don't have a pension and you effectively have to keep working to keep living then I would be very concerned and reducing your daily quality of life to build up savings. You still have enough time to change things if this is important to you. Perhaps evaluate if you can cut down some expenses and put aside an amount each month (if this is possible). If you could get together a deposit then things could look very different in a few years. If you do want this though them you might want to make some moves quickly (again, if possible!) as in my experience it becomes harder to secure a mortgage after your mid 40s as the bank starts to worry about how long you'll remain in the workforce. I am a worrier by nature though and an in a country where home ownership rates have been traditionally very high. This certainly wouldn't concern a lot of people. Good luck.

If I lost my job tomorrow, I’d be on benefits ASAP. Otherwise I’d be on a park bench each night

I think when you are a pensioner you get housing benefit that helps with the rent but might need to find a cheaper place

Think the problem is my friends who brought got equity in there property then brought the next one
Basically this seems to keep there mortgage at a lower amount than my rent

So my monthly outgoing is higher and it will keep going forever

This higher monthly outgoing also decreases my saving potential

I know what you mean by "net worth" in this context but it still troubles me. None of us are defined by where we live or how much we earn. It's not your worth in any sense, it's just how much money you have. Sooo not the most interesting or relevant thing about you.

Moneywise maybe concentrate on building a bigger savings cushion. It'll give a bigger bang for your buck, in terms of helping you to feel more secure, than focussing on buying a flat.

Could you rent somewhere cheaper ? Have you always rented on your own from 20? Most people don’t or can’t afford to rent a property on their own.

I think I phased it wrong, I'm not worried about net worth in a sense that I'm comparing it

More in the sense I am not getting that sense of financial security I thought I would of had when I got to my age

@Shtsandgiggles do you want advice as to.how to change that?

I guess just stories from other people who are in a similar situation so I know it's not just me

Most of the people I know seem to own

I'm exactly the same. 41, renting, never likely to be able to buy. My rent is £750 for a house that is too small for us but can't really afford more rent. I have about 3 grand in savings but that's it.

I try and count my blessings as I'm lucky in many ways, but the thousands of pounds I've paid towards other people's mortgages is quite depressing if I dwell on it

Stories from people in the same boat might make you feel better tonight but won’t change anything in the long run. You’ll be sitting around thinking the same thing in a month, a year etc.

What choices did you make so you ended up like this and is there anything you can change now? And what has happened to you that you had no control over that you can plan for in the future.

Start increasing your savings as much as possible now and decrease your outgoings too.