CSA debts written off

[ijustgiveup]

Am I the only one wondering how a company can write debts off not owed to them?

My friend who has been fighting for years has called me devastated. She received a letter stating the CSA has written off the debt owed to her and her children to the tune of £24k!

I got my letter last year and mine was £7k.
How is this allowed? Both ex husbands are still not paying either

The crux of it is that the current system isnt fit for purpose especially when the agency set up to supposedly ensure maintenance is paid is actively writing of debts instead of pursuing the non payment to the full extent of their remit.
Thousands of children are having money that is rightfully theirs refused to them by one of their own parents and that is being enabled by a government agency! It’s appalling and I highly doubt it would be the case if the majority of RPs were male.

I totally agree with you @QuestionableDanceMoves 👍

The only reason my ex didn't get his payment reduced when he moved in with his girlfriend is because they didn't declare it as it would "mess up" there benefits he basically worked out that paying £7 a week and pretending to still live with his mother was more profitable than declaring he moved in with his girlfriend as they would lose the single elements from there claim

@QuestionableDanceMoves it is not the child's money though is it. What happens if the NRP dies then there is no income.

Money root of all evil and plenty of RPs use it for their own advantage and Complain when NRP do the same

@Loveacoseynightin in my opinion it is the childs money. It is money towards their upkeep. The only reason the NRP has to pay anything is because the child/ren exists and are too young to provide for themselves.
It isn’t money towards the living costs of the RP alone.

When NRPs are being told to pay as little as £7 a week what financial gain is there to a RP for keeping contact to a minimum?
There’s many more cases of NRPs refusing to pay than there are of RPs keeping kids away to get a few extra quid.
The fact is that RPs have to rely on the CMS to get the NRP to pay, if NRPs want more contact with their kids then they can always take the matter to court and get a judge to order an increase in contact.

Disgraceful behaviour

Sorry it's taken me all day to reply. I've been on a double shift.

My friend is devastated. That's her kids money, same with me and my children. My ex doesn't even pay the £4 a week he is supposed to be paying.

That's all he has to pay because he's a self employed tradesmen

@Loveacoseynightin

What good would jailing somebody do?

I think the whole system needs an overhaul with 50/50 being the start. Why should the RP have the right to dictate when a NRP can have the child. This is the problem as maintenance benefits the RP so she can be as difficult as she wants in terms of overnight stays as it is in the interest of the RP. What I would do....

1. Maintenance not started until agreement is fully in place and sanctioned by mediator/court.

1. Maintenance should be based on non house related costs. Should be on food, clothes etc

1. Maintenance should be taken straight from Employer wage like National Insurance does. This would tie in with point1. A certain tax code given.

Any parent who has found to alienate and involve children in Adult matters should be dealt with harshly as well.

Do you really think MOST RPs see allowing/not allowing their children overnight stays as some kind of money spinner?!?! There might be some that do, but a system predecated on this is absurd.

More likely that kids are used as pawns due to emotional hurt between the adults, not because it means marginally more £££ after you deduct the cost of food etc.

My ex doesn't pay, luckily I don't need it and I prefer to stand on my own feet than waste my time pursuing that piece of shit. You can't make people care.

In Germany, if the NRP doesn't pay, the state pays in their place and then gets it back from NRP. If thy can't, its treated like a tax debt would be, ultimately criminal.

In Australia if you owe child support and try to go abroad it flags up when you go through customs. You are not permitted to travel until the arrears are paid.

If they were really serious about fixing the system this is the first thing they should implement.

For the last 6 years My ex has been a company director.
Pays himself dividends and not a wage.
So apparently earns nothing when assessed for child support.
Despite swanning about in a fancy car, taking several foreign long haul holidays a year he has a nil assessment.
He has not paid for 12 years
I am owed 21k from the years he was in a waged job.
I had to fight and justify to the CSM why they shouldn't write £21k off
They can take away drivers licences, passports and impose prison sentences for non payment but they don't.
They are utterly useless.

Just as a matter of interest do you have to accept CMS writing it off or can you pursue it as a civil debt, get a county court judgement and an attachment of earnings/send in bailiffs yourself?
It may be a matter of the debt being statute barred if he hasn't paid in 6 years, but if you get a CCJ you can enforce it at any time, so for instance, if he gets an inheritance/pension lump sum.

Why is the CSM not more stringent? Their values are all wrong.

It's not often I say that we should adopt an American way of doing things but with child support we definitely should.

[quote Loveacoseynightin]@QuestionableDanceMoves it is not the child's money though is it. What happens if the NRP dies then there is no income.

Money root of all evil and plenty of RPs use it for their own advantage and Complain when NRP do the same[/quote]
CMS is almost always far below the actual cost of raising a child, unless the nrp is a high earner with minimal nights with the DCs (and even then, the DCs will likely be getting far less financial support than the children of resident parents who earn the same as the nrp).

I'm sure there are RPs who complain or are unfair. I'd be pretty shocked if it's 'plenty'.

@QuestionableDanceMoves but how much is enough, what amount should the NRP be paying before it's deemed fair?

Money root of all evil and plenty of RPs use it for their own advantage and Complain when NRP do the same

Can you tell me in what way I am using money to my own advantage when my ex hasn't paid a penny in 14 years? Sees his children weekly - as suits him. I have paid for all childcare, school uniforms, haircuts, shoes, casual clothes, paid for speech therapy for 2 children, I deal with our other child's disability and am the one who does all doctor, dentist and hospital appointments. I am the one who comes out of work if the school calls. I have paid for holiday clubs, school dinners, bus fares, revision books, all extra-curricular activities such as swimming, cubs and football, as well as school trips. My ex's contribution, such as it is, is to pick up the children from school one night a week and return them to school the next morning. That saves me 3 lots of bus fare. He also feeds them so that's one evening meal and breakfast I don't pay for each week for 3 children.

And you know what, there are women on here who will applaud my ex for seeing his children regularly and wonder what on earth my problem is. Because, you know, if I do all that I can clearly afford it so the poor man really shouldn't have to contribute at all.

It is so fucking depressing that we're in 2021 and there are still people out there who make excuses for men and their piss poor behaviour towards their children. Even worse that it is now sanctioned by the Government in all it's misogynistic glory.

There is a huge amount of public support for CMS reform. I don’t know why none of the political parties have picked it up and run with it.

Would be one of the only reasons I’d ever vote Tory

"It is so fucking depressing that we're in 2021 and there are still people out there who make excuses for men and their piss poor behaviour towards their children. Even worse that it is now sanctioned by the Government in all it's misogynistic glory."

So true.

So lack of political will is behind the toothless CMS. Wonder why nobody on politics takes any bloody interest? Maybe it needs a celebrity to get behind it seeing as the politicians at the acting...?

[quote Loveacoseynightin]@QuestionableDanceMoves it is not the child's money though is it. What happens if the NRP dies then there is no income.

Money root of all evil and plenty of RPs use it for their own advantage and Complain when NRP do the same[/quote]
If you're going to quote the Bible at least get it right. "LOVE of money is the root of all evil".

It's a silly argument anyway. Women who bear the brunt of looking after the children and who should receive CM don't "love" money. In most cases they need the money to pay for the rooms that their children live in, their clothes, their activities, the costs of sending their children to school.

Many, many women leave marriages and relationships due to abuse and those men should definitely not be encouraged to do 50/50 care and save them selves some cash in the process.

Honestly you sound somewhat bitter about RPs. Why is that?

I typed that with gritted teeth, just so you know.

@Loveacoseynightin that’s not the point. If a NRP is told to pay x amount per week per child then they should pay it and not be facilitated to dodge paying it by the very agency set up to supposedly ensure payment.

How much they are told to pay and whether that goes far enough to properly provide for the children is a whole different matter.

My parents split just as the old CSA was set up. My dad refused to pay - he saw it as "keeping" my mum, which he didn't want to do, no matter that it was us, his kids, who he said he loved, that needed the money for food, clothes etc. He ended up with an attachment of earnings but paid the bare minimum.

We went from living comfortably in our own home to poverty: sofa surfing, then living in pretty awful social housing, unable to see our friends after school because we had to move area to be housed, unable to do our activities, clubs etc because mum couldn't afford it, couldn't go to school discos because the only clothes we had were our school uniform etc.

To the NRPs on this thread defending dads who don't want to pay: I was 12 and understood all of this. I understood that he had a nice lifestyle while we were poor. We barely have a relationship now. I'll never forgive him for not caring enough about us to want to see us adequately housed, clothed and fed.

@WutheringTights As sad as your situation is when a breakup happens things will change. Why were you privy to the adult information? You should not have been told in adult matters.

You were adequately homed ok not what you were used to but at least had a home. He did pay in the end though didn't he even if he was forced.

The biggest problem though is what ever the NRP it is never enough

Rainbowqueeen

In Australia if you owe child support and try to go abroad it flags up when you go through customs. You are not permitted to travel until the arrears are paid.
If they were really serious about fixing the system this is the first thing they should implement.

Wow!! My ex moved to Australia! Shame they don’t do the same when you try and get into the country.

As sad as your situation is when a breakup happens things will change. Why were you privy to the adult information? You should not have been told in adult matters

How about rather than berate a child for knowing adult things, or the PWC for having either discussed the issue with their children or had their children over hear a discussion about child maintenance, we berate the people who are refusing to pay or who do everything they can to make life difficult for their ex? There would be nothing to hear, would there, if her father had done the bare minimum?

And my children are well aware of their father's non payment of maintenance because he is proud of it. No shame whatsoever on his part. Happy to call me a 'money grabbing bitch' to his children. Happy to be heard slagging off dads who don't pay maintenance (new partner's child's dad) but tell our children that he won't give them £2 bus fare or a sandwich when in school because 'that's your mother's job'. That's on top of me paying for everything, they have to walk home from school if I have forgotten to give them enough money to last them a couple of days or go hungry rather than him put his hand in his pocket or make them a sandwich himself.

I am sick and tired of women like you who believe that women are always the ones at fault. Why do you buy into this rubbish, eh?