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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dad was able to wander off from care home

69 replies

Whatisthisfuckery · 15/04/2021 11:22

My dad, who has quite advanced Alzheimer’s, has gone into a care home for a couple of weeks for respite care. He is very confused and really doesn’t know where he is or what he’s doing.

Yesterday my mum got a call from the manager informing her that dad had somehow got out and wandered off. He was found at the shops over the road, apparently looking for my mum’s car. He was in the home less than a day and they already managed to lose him.

I’m absolutely furious with the staff at the home, where is their safeguarding? They know my dad has Alzheimer’s, that is why he’s there. Anything could have happened to him when he wandered off.

My mum isn’t very happy but she’s not the type to make a fuss. I however am concerned. If my dad was able to just wander off out the door after being there for less than a day, how many other residence have done or could do the same? This is a serious safeguarding failure and it needs to be addressed. My dad was put there to be safe, not to be allowed to wander off on his own in an area he doesn’t know.

Who should I contact about this? I don’t think there’s much point in talking to the staff at the home itself, as they can just say anything. Can anybody point me in the direction of who I can raise my concerns with so they’ll be listened to? I don’t want my dad or any other vulnerable person to be harmed because of their poor safeguarding.

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 15/04/2021 11:27

Safeguarding is run by social services so if you search your county and adult social care there'll be a helpline to call. They'll put you through to the right people. They will be able to investigate.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 15/04/2021 11:28

Raise it with the manager to see what his/her response is. If you feel that's not satisfactory you can go to CQC.

DogsSausages · 15/04/2021 11:29

You can speak to social services adult safeguarding team, is it a small private home or a larger one run by a company. That is very poor care if he is confused. I would be looking at moving him somewhere else, the home manager needs to carry out an investigation of how he got out, is he on a DOLS, has he had a capacity assessment and personal safety assessment.

SummerHouse · 15/04/2021 11:30

I would talk to the manager. It's really upsetting but try to keep an open mind.

Iluvfriends · 15/04/2021 11:32

Even with appropriate safeguarding put in place things like this unfortunately do still happen. Even people with dementia can work out how to get out a door, sometimes sneak out with a visitor leaving etc. I know it's no comfort to you but things like this aren't always down to neglect or uncaring staff unless your dad has been assigned 24hr supervision.

Viviennemary · 15/04/2021 11:36

These things happen. The alternative is to choose a home with a locked door policy.

Shellingbynight · 15/04/2021 11:42

Talk to the manager, find out how it happened and what measures are in place to prevent it happening again. If you are not satisfied speak to social services adult safeguarding about getting him moved to a care home which can meet his needs. His needs include not being able to put himself at risk by escaping.

Dementia care homes should have a locked door policy. All the exterior doors on my mother's care home are secure and can only be opened by staff. There is no chance of a resident escaping because all visitors are let in and out by a member of staff.

ImAlrightThanx · 15/04/2021 12:08

Speak to the manager first, if no satisfaction then social services. As a general rule, residents in care homes do have the right to leave the premises if they want to. Obviously, they also need to be kept safe though, and your dad wasn't.
Is it a specialist dementia care home or more of a residential home?

MrFlibblesEyes · 15/04/2021 12:21

We are a dementia care home and all our doors are locked with keypad systems in place for the staff to let people in and out. We have still had the odd case where a resident has somehow managed to force the door and as a result they are now all alarmed and the emergency buzzer goes off showing which door had been opened each time. With the best care in the world escapes can still happen...

MrsClatterbuck · 15/04/2021 12:30

If he is there for respite then you would have been in Ontario t with a social worker who will have been assigned to him. If you get no joy with the manager you could contact them. My df was in a home a matter if days when the care worker who wasn't authorised to give out medication gave my dad someone else's pills. The social worker was involved for this.

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 15/04/2021 12:35

How is he normally at home?

Before my nurses training I worked in a EMI nursing home where the doors alarmed if any of our residents opened them. I think it must be very unsettling for your dad being somewhere not familiar. Speak with the Nursing Home Inspector at the council, and the QCC.

Original poster

Whatisthisfuckery · 15/04/2021 12:37

Thanks all. Obviously I’m upset and annoyed about this but wanted some other opinions.

I’m waiting for my mum to get back to me with more details, but so far she’s told me the manager thinks he must have got out when staff were leaving the building, and that they’re going to keep an extra eye on him. I don’t know whether the manager has investigated what happened or if there has even been a formal log made of the incident. Like I said, my mum is a bit apathetic and won’t make a fuss, and she’s a bit sketchy with the details.

I think I’ll give it a few more hours, then if my mum can’t give me the info I want or I’m not happy with the sound of what she does tell me I’ll ring the home and ask to speak to the manager. My interest isn’t getting people into trouble, I simply want to make sure that they are doing everything they can to keep my dad and the other residence safe. The fact that my dad was able to just mooch on out of there after being there less than a day is very concerning.

OP posts:

Original poster

Whatisthisfuckery · 15/04/2021 12:41

At home dad is very confused. He knows where he is, that he’s at home, but if you asked him to go to the kitchen for example he wouldn’t be able to do it. It’s not that he doesn’t know his way around, he can go to the loo and to his room and the garden etc, he just can’t process the instruction to go to the kitchen. He can’t dress himself properly anymore, gets his legs in the wrong leg of his trousers and tries to put his jumper on backwards/inside out/upside down etc. He’s in a pretty bad way really. it’s so horrible, he’s only 64 and he seems to have gone down hill really quickly.

OP posts:

HunkyPunk · 15/04/2021 12:42

You can go into a care home for respite without any involvement from Social Services! My Mum lived with us, but sometimes had a respite break in a care home while we were away on holiday. None of them looked after her properly, but that's another story. Not all care homes are suitable for those with dementia. They can't all guarantee a prison-like level of security.

ErleighBird · 15/04/2021 12:42

I think for me I'd be really upset at what happened but also be very interested in what happened next. I can accept mistakes are made but it's key that they are learnt from.

I would expect an investigation and information on what's been put in place to stop it happening again.

Good luck 😊

user1471462428 · 15/04/2021 12:46

It is worth raising, however, I worked in care homes and my number one problem was relatives letting residents out of the locked unit. We had signs on the door but it happened repeatedly and often was the same relative in spite of being reminded.

LittleTiger007 · 15/04/2021 12:46

This is very upsetting and worrying OP. My mother in law has Alzheimer’s and is a wonderer too. We are hugely reassured by the high security at her home! If she could get out then she would. As it is she has lots of corridors and a garden to roam and she seems very secure. It took us a while to get her the right place for her - contact social services and the team responsible. Sadly it does take a lot of following up as these people are so overworked. We also went through the doctor and asked him to stress the level of need. I hope that your Dad is safe and that this doesn’t happen again. If your mum is apathetic then maybe you need to take the reins on this one, although that may not be easy as I know I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone regarding my MIL it all had to go through the next of kin. So maybe your mum needs help and guidance with you feeding her what to say.

BestZebbie · 15/04/2021 12:49

Do you think it might be because he was new so that some of the staff didn't recognise him? They might be willing to let out an unknown man in their 60s because some of the children of the residents might be in their 60s so they assume he is a visitor? (Although with Covid, I guess they aren't having visitors?).

Original poster

Whatisthisfuckery · 15/04/2021 12:52

I’ve just called adult social care and got the contact details of the allocated SW, so I might have a chat with her about it. I need to speak to my mum first of all ideally but she’s not being very forthcoming.

OP posts:

NotMeekNotObedient · 15/04/2021 12:52

The home will have procedures in place. I doubt they would have accepted your Dad to stay there if they 'couldn't meet his needs'.

Speak to the manager - even with coded, armed doors these things do happen occasionally unfortunately. Definitely raise a complaint though.

ClaudiaWankleman · 15/04/2021 12:57

From my experiences in dementia specialist care homes, you do need a locked door policy to stop this happening. It would be extremely difficult to stop incidents like this occurring otherwise, especially as some residents can be extremely determined to leave!

I agree with @BestZebbie that it is possibly because he had been resident for such a short period of time. That isn't an excuse though, and a new resident really should be getting slightly more attention paid to them anyway, to help them settle.

The care home should have an incident report + a revised risk assessment that they can share with you to put your mind at rest. Have you requested the impact assessment?

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/04/2021 12:59

God, that's terrifying. Hope they're receptive to putting in extra measures going forward.

FelicityBeedle · 15/04/2021 13:06

Does he have a DOL? My understanding is they can’t stop him leaving without one

jessycake · 15/04/2021 13:08

I think sometimes people are placed in innaproppriate homes for their needs , my mother in law was in a small home and although it never happened to my knowledge, someone could easily have been let out by a visitor despite us being told not to and notices on the door . Residents can't themselves because they dont know the keycode. Some homes have residents that don't have dementia and are allowed to go out .

Eachpeachpears · 15/04/2021 13:16

My grandad was in a dementia specialist care home. We got a call to say he had escaped. Turns out one of the residents used to be a locksmith and had sat next to the door and picked the lock and they all made a break for it!
We were lucky that the grounds were also secured though.
It's difficult to understand that these things happen when it's your own relative but the carers are only human and very very stretched. That doesn't excuse what's happened and you are right to question it, but please be mindful of this when you do.

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