Out of ideas with my fussy eater, just eating the same things constantly

[Toomuchtooyoung01]

At the end of my tether with my little fusspot refusing anything wet textured or any variety of sandwich. She is almost 4 and still refuses to even sample staples like Spaghetti bolognese, shepherds pie, fish pie etc, basically any meal thats not dry. She will eat yoghurt etc so dont think its anything sensory related.
She will very happily eat toast and garlic bread yet if she is presented with a sandwich, no matter the filling or whatever fancy shape its been cut into, she will refuse it.
She eats tons of fruit, but the only veg she eats without a fuss is carrots (loves carrots).
Her lunch generally consists of cold meats with fruit and yogurt covered rice cakes, as an example. For dinner she will eat "oven food", stir fry noodles and spaghetti if only in the tiniest amount of sauce imaginable, likes meatballs, she is even being fussy about roast dinners now and refusing to eat them.
I'm desperate for her to eat a wider variety of food. Has anyone had a similarly fussy eater, am I missing any meal ideas that have worked?
Thanks! x

One tip I have that worked with my fussy eater was to serve cooked veg or raw before the main course so they have it when really hungry. A bit like a starter. And serve food you're trying to get them to like when they're really hungry which sometimes meant in morning. We had a lot of baked potato.

I have a child who just doesn't do variety. She had safe food that she will eat all the time. I manage over time to add to the things she will eat by giving her safe foods alongside something new. No pressure to try new foods but the option is available and foods become more familiar with exposure over time.

I really like some of the tips on this account: instagram.com/kids.nutritionist?igshid=bphrorapg3gz

shepherd's pie, fish pie and spag bol are all hot mushy-wet foods, whereas yoghurt is cold and smooth in texture. It could be a sensory issue. Likewise, sandwiches are soft and cold/cool whereas both toast and garlic bread are hard (and warm). Have you tried giving her sandwiches made on toast/warm baguette?

Some people just don't like very wet/mushy foods!

Very interested in this. DS is nine and continues to rule the menu. We don't force him to eat anything but I do wonder if he gets too much of his own way. I have tried to give him a tailored, deconstructed version of our meals but it's exhausting! E.g we have fish pie, he has prawn skewers and hedgehog potatoes.

Will she eat a decomposed sandwich? My 6 year old will only eat cheese and bread, side by side on a plate, never a cheese sandwich (he doesn't like the butter or margarine on the bread).

My 2 fusspots are the opposite, only liking food thats been cooked all together (stews, casseroles, soups) and never separate dry food like meat and 2 veg.

My mum did separate meals for me when I didn't like what everyone else was eating. Took away the stress and Ive improved a LOT.

I do separate meals for 1 or 2 of my DC when necessary. Both have come on leaps and bounds in the past 2 years though the 6 year old remains quite fussy.

I agree its annoying but as I was fussy I understand how they feel.

Ok sounds like she might like middle eastern/turkish food. Rice, with dollop of plain yoghurt and dry meat balls (working towards a long kebab then grilled meat). Carrots, cucumber with hummus. Pita bread with suggestive veggies (try, its ok not to like). I do feel your pain. DS was a pain and the only way we moved forward was trying different cuisines.

@InvincibleInvisibility I really hope you mean deconstructed sandwich...!!

Will she eat a decomposed sandwich?

Who would?

I was a fussy eater and things my parents did looking back didn’t help. The conversation was about food at the dining table all the time and I felt like everyone watched me if I tried to try any food so very much felt like a fish in a gold fish gold. I still have weird anxiety about trying some foods and will gag before it evens gets to my mouth.

I would suggest, everyone eats at the dining table at the same time, do not talk about and don’t draw attention to DC not eating but praise each other for eating and mention how yummy it is but then talk about the weather. Change the conversation.

For actually food on a plate like spag Bol separate it, it’s very intimidating trying what looks likes 100s of new food. So put pasta / meat / chunks of tomato/ cheese separately on the plate.

If they will eat bread and ham but not a ham sandwich give it to them deconstructed. Work their way upto putting it together on their own terms.

@suspiria777 I still hate mushy food and textures as an adult don’t get me started on mash potato 🤮

I am not a nutritionist or qualified in any manner except I was a fussy eater and was underweight as a child and had major food issues (not now though) and Ds2 was similarly fussy resulting from severe reflux which he did not outgrow until he was 8 years old.

I made a list of everything he ate and put it under all the food groups so fruit, veg, protein, carbs, fats etc. I made sure there was a regular cycling of food within the groups he ate. It made me see that he was eating more than I thought.

However, at dinner time I would literally provide Ds with a spoonful of whatever we were eating, so half a teaspoon to a teaspoon of say chilli and a teaspoon of rice. The deal was he tried those and then he could eat a whole meal of something he liked I had prepared. That meal stayed in the kitchen. There was no conversation about it at the dinner table, but he was told in advance this was what was happening. It was small enough to not overwhelm him and just one or two mouthfuls at the most.

It meant he got to experience flavours and textures. He now eats a huge variety of food, he is 15. But it was slow progress and he still has some sensory issues with food mainly mash potato but he will have some with sausages and gravy.

We did also take him to those all you can eat buffet places so he could just sample bit of food rather than a whole meal he may not like. It had all sorts of cuisine from curries to tapas plus a lot of desserts

Oh I should add we do the do you want a bite of your carrot or a piece of your broccoli with my own DC. With a quick quick then you can be done and we can go play. Don’t them not try anything but give them freedom to pick

Oops I did mean deconstructed I was thinking in French (décomposé)

I was a world-beating fussy eater as a child, for years, and had my mother jumping through hoops begging me to eat, making separate food just for me which I then refused, etcetc.

Then my dad was ill and I had to go and stay with an aunt (large family, not much money) and on my first day lovely aunt took me aside and said " If you don'tlike the food it's fine, you don;t have to eat anything. just leave it on your plate ". Which of course I did. But nobody noticed or cared I'd had no dinner or asked if i would like something different. After a day or so of food refusal and still nobody noticed or said anything I got over myself and from then on I ate everything.

My fussy eater gradually improved over the years but it took a long time and he’s still not particularly adventurous with foods, but he gets the nutrition he needs. If she’s not in danger of becoming malnourished, just leave her to it and she may gain confidence with food in time.

"The food our children eat " by Joanna Blythman is a great book, with helpful strategies

In previous threads, people have recommended putting food on the table for everyone to help themselves