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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be concerned about DS in school...

60 replies

espressoontap · 14/04/2021 16:34

He starts reception in Sept. 28 intake - he is one of two boys. Is this an issue? DH concerned it'll affect him growing up only having the one male friend before high school. They do mix between years and of course there will be playtimes etc.

He's now the only boy in preschool - there was another but parents pulled him out to go back to nursery during lockdown.

I don't know how I feel to be honest, I'm on the fence...

Is DH BU to be concerned? Does anyone have any experience?

OP posts:
TiggerTiggerBounce · 14/04/2021 16:50

To be honest, it isn’t ideal. Are there any alternative schools? How much do they mix between years and how many boys in the year immediately above?

Original poster
espressoontap · 14/04/2021 16:53

There are schools in the surrounding villages.

I know he does mix with the year above at the moment as he says hi to these boys when we are out and about.

I will call the school tomorrow to ask. My experience of primary school is four intakes of the same academic year so was quite diverse. We are in a small village now.

OP posts:
PleaseReferToMeAsBritneySpears · 14/04/2021 16:55

It would be a no from me.

PegPeople · 14/04/2021 16:55

It probably won't be an issue in reception but as he gets older I wouldn't like him being 1 of only 2 boys in his year. What happens if he doesn't get on with the other boy or he moves away? At 4 that's not so terrible as they generally all play together but at 9 for example that could be incredibly isolating.

PleaseReferToMeAsBritneySpears · 14/04/2021 16:56

Sorry - no as in, I wouldn't want him there.

GreatestSh0wUnicorn · 14/04/2021 16:57

Things may change and more boys might come along, also if he ends up friends with the girls what’s the harm? Great way to make male friends at high school knowing all the girls!

NoGoodPunsLeft · 14/04/2021 16:57

I wouldn't like it because it has the potential to limit his friendships, especially as they get older and girls/boys don't tend to want to play with each other as much.

Original poster
espressoontap · 14/04/2021 17:06

I have no issues about him being friends with girls, but like a PP mentioned, if this boy was to move away he'd be devastated. Plus I want him to socialise with more than one boy.

We have been discussing whether we move or not recently and this has just added more fuel to DH's argument for it. I really can't decide what is best to do.

OP posts:
Aliceandthemarchhare · 14/04/2021 17:07

I would not be sending my son there, sorry.

Branleuse · 14/04/2021 17:08

Are there boys in the other years?
I dont think its a big deal at that age. More could join if yours is there

RedGoldAndGreene · 14/04/2021 17:08

My dd was in a class of 7 girls out of 30 children and that was tricky enough.

I would be looking for another school tbh. While it's possible that the other boy is like yours, it's going to be tough if he's the opposite personality or moves away.

RedGoldAndGreene · 14/04/2021 17:10

Ime in Reception, they discourage mixing of years because they want to build their confidence and bigger kids from older years can be scary.

bedtimeshoes · 14/04/2021 17:11

I wouldn't want to send my son there because of the unequal girl/boy ratio. It's pretty extreme if you ask me. I wonder why it's ended up like that and what the staff make of it.

purplecup · 14/04/2021 17:11

I have experience with a class like this. Child classes change all the time so in the future more boys could join. If you love the school I would just make sure your child does lots of extra activities out of school so they have more interaction with other boys their age. Due to covid your sons class isn't likely to mix with other classes just yet.
In my experience, a class with more girls is preferable to a class with more boys, especially as they get older.

MoreHairyThanScary · 14/04/2021 17:12

On a positive note girls progress best in an all girls environment and boys in a mixed, would this not be the best of both? If you could balance with some largely male centred out of school activity. Would that help the situation?

BlusteryLake · 14/04/2021 17:13

That's really unusual, and I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. I would not send my son there I'm afraid.

year5teacher · 14/04/2021 17:13

That sounds very weird. My class is pretty boy heavy and over lockdown I had two girls and 13 boys in. The girls weren’t having the time of their lives tbh.

PegPeople · 14/04/2021 17:14

In my experience, a class with more girls is preferable to a class with more boys, especially as they get older.

Thw trouble is you're think of this from an adults perspective. If you imagine from the perspective of the OPs son it's a pretty crummy situation to be spending 5 days a week with no male peers.

Aliceandthemarchhare · 14/04/2021 17:15

It’s not as weird as all that actually. If the school is very small there might be less than ten children per class.

I’d probably aim to avoid very small schools anyway for this reason but I do think it’s very limiting for the child in question.

TeenMinusTests · 14/04/2021 17:15

DD was in a girl heavy class throughout primary.
Now for DD it wasn't a problem, but there was an issue with the boys. They started out with 6, the maximum they ever got to was 8. What happened a few times was a boy started, parents decided there wasn't a wide enough choice of friends, and they moved to a different local school. So not having many boys was self-perpetuating.
I certainly wouldn't have liked it the other way around.

BlueCherryBlossom · 14/04/2021 17:16

Wow, that's a crazy ratio?!

How do you know the numbers?

TheFuckThatIGave · 14/04/2021 17:17

I'd be very concerned that as he grows and displays completely normal developmental behaviour for a boy, the extreme girl ratio will unfairly and unfavourably skew what teachers expect of him. I've seen it many tines in girl heavy classes, even whether there are 5 or more boys, they are penalised for being boys, essentially.

Mendingfences · 14/04/2021 17:20

My son is the only boy in his year and my daughter is the only girl in her year. Its a small school, year group sizes go from 1 to 6 so it happens. They both have friends of both sexes and various ages both at their school and outside their school.
I might have been more concerned if class sizes were bigger - i think its more likely to be an issue being the only boy/girl in a class of 10 than of 4....

VashtaNerada · 14/04/2021 17:20

How many in a class? That sounds very unusual! I would give it a go, many boys have female friendships especially at that age. I teach Y2 and can think of several friendship groups with just one boy or just one girl. I’d only consider moving him if he actually does have friendship issues rather than making the assumption he will.

Nursingdreams83 · 14/04/2021 17:21

So out of 28 there are only 2 boys? That's crazy, it wouldn't worry me as much if it was a tiny class of say 10 but 2 out of 28 isn't great.

I wouldn't be happy with that. I'm curious as to how you know the exact numbers as where I live primary places arent confirmed until Friday.

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