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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DM is being a bit stupid?

33 replies

Sparklfairy · 14/04/2021 11:17

I had a phonecall from my DM this morning, worried. She has a skip on the drive and found 3 burly men rooting through it and taking stuff. She went out and told them to put it all back. They did but sneered and laughed at her, and sounded like they were rude and intimidating.

Once they left, presumably she's regretted going out to them. She lives alone and we both think at some point they will come back to take stuff from the skip. One also meandered his way down the side of the house which leads to the back garden with an unlocked garage, but she caught him in time.

Anyway, she's now worried she did the wrong thing confronting them, and that they'll come back, maybe take stuff not in the skip etc. I live alone too and I know how horrible it is to feel anxious and paranoid in your own home (rational or not).

The thing is... she has CCTV. It just points the wrong way and doesn't cover the skip/side of the house. I suggested she turn the camera to cover the skip for peace of mind. She refused Confused

She's now gone out for the day. I just don't understand why she wouldn't just turn the camera around, so that if they did burgle her/put a brick through her window ( Grin ) / whatever, she'd at least catch them in the act. Why wouldn't you!? So now she's got no CCTV AND no car on the drive, showing clearly she isn't home Confused

I'm quite annoyed and distracted from work now. It would have taken seconds and given her peace of mind. And me (selfishly). AIBU?

OP posts:
Aprilshowersandhail · 14/04/2021 11:19

Surely an emptier skip means more room for dm's stuff?
Not sure why it was an issue.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 14/04/2021 11:21

@Aprilshowersandhail

Surely an emptier skip means more room for dm's stuff? Not sure why it was an issue.
Me neither tbh. Certainly personally I would rather someone took it rather than it going to landfill. I did mean to put that in my OP but forgot.

Anyway, if you were a lone female and became anxious about people coming onto your property, wouldn't you just turn a friggin camera around!? Grin

OP posts:
ElizabethTudor · 14/04/2021 11:21

Yeah, why did she stop them taking stuff out of the skip? Surely it’s in the skip because she no longer wants it?
And then to not angle the CCTV at the garage (which I hope she’s gone out to get a lock for) / side of the house / skip, does seem a bit daft.

HoppingPavlova · 14/04/2021 11:22

Why couldn’t they take the stuff from the skip. Obviously the correct action on their part would be to knock on the door and ask if it was okay and I understand it’s irksome they didn’t do this. My problem has always been over full skips so for one, if anyone wanted stuff from mine I would be rubbing my hands with glee.

Angrypregnantlady · 14/04/2021 11:23

@Aprilshowersandhail

Surely an emptier skip means more room for dm's stuff? Not sure why it was an issue.
Yeah this. I don't understand why someone would object to people taking their rubbish.
Bouncebacker · 14/04/2021 11:24

Why would she care if people took stuff from the skip? That’s what people do - if other people can get value from the things she is throwing away, what is the harm? Saves her money as the skip is emptier for her things / the things no one else wants

Angrypregnantlady · 14/04/2021 11:24

But yes. If I was worried about someone coming on my property I'd turn my cctv round where I could see them.

Where does her cctv currently point?

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 14/04/2021 11:25

I suspect she just reacted on impulse and possibly assumed they were putting their stuff in the skip, only realised when she went out and told them to stop to save face Grin

Fwiw she put a load of old carpets in there, and I happened to come across a post on a local fb group of someone looking for old carpet for a project. She was happy for him to take them!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparklfairy · 14/04/2021 11:28

@Angrypregnantlady

But yes. If I was worried about someone coming on my property I'd turn my cctv round where I could see them.

Where does her cctv currently point?

The opposite direction, the other half of the drive/front garden. The drive covers the whole width of the (wide) house, then down one side too. It would literally be a case of swivelling the camera 180 degrees.
OP posts:
Jocasta2018 · 14/04/2021 11:31

I'd rather people took stuff from my skip than use it to dump their stuff!

bookworm1632 · 14/04/2021 11:33

I'm fairly sure thieves don't routinely root through skips in full view of the neigbourhood.....
I mean would it be a case of "we can't find any houses to burgle today so we thought we'd try skips"... or "let's give everyone a really good sight of us so that when we come back and do the property, the police have a fair chance..."

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 14/04/2021 11:37

@bookworm1632

I'm fairly sure thieves don't routinely root through skips in full view of the neigbourhood..... I mean would it be a case of "we can't find any houses to burgle today so we thought we'd try skips"... or "let's give everyone a really good sight of us so that when we come back and do the property, the police have a fair chance..."
Oh agreed. It's not that I think anything will happen, it's just, as I said in my OP, I know it can be stressful to be home alone and anxious, hear noises that aren't there in the middle of the night etc. Swivelling the camera would get rid of all that as she can watch it live on her phone or laptop and it pings when there's movement. Just peace of mind and she won't do it! Grin
OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 14/04/2021 12:00

Anyway, if you were a lone female and became anxious about people coming onto your property, wouldn't you just turn a friggin camera around!?

Yes. Sounds like she is subconsciously wanting the DRAMZ. Does she frequent any of those hilarious local neighborhood groups on social media that are always posting recycled urban legends with disturbingly racist undercurrents?

Hallyup5 · 14/04/2021 12:03

I've personally told people to fuck off from taking stuff out of my skip, primarily because they didn't ask, but secondly because I've paid a company to do a job for me and felt that they should also get the benefit of recycling what was in it, rather than it going to people who just want free money.

I do think your mum should turn her camera round though and is being a little pig-headed. It'd certainly make me feel a bit safer.

LookItsMeAgain · 14/04/2021 12:05

Has she (or you) never heard of "Dumpster Diving" or the phrase "One mans muck is another mans money"?
People regularly scrounge from skips and turn what would have been thrown onto a dump into something that they can make a few quid out of.
Nothing wrong with taking from a skip and it means more stuff can be thrown out.
Your DM is a bit mad to have told them to put the stuff back though :D

redheadwitch · 14/04/2021 12:40

Clearly I'm in the minority but I wouldn't be happy about someone helping themselves to things in my skip. If I'm paying for the hire of the skip, its my belongings in it, its my time and energy that put them there and its located on my property... why should anyone have free rein to wander on to my property and help themselves?! If they had come to the door and asked if they could look, that might be different but its not on , in my opinion, to just help yourself.

If someone was rummaging through your wheelie bin it wouldn't be acceptable and perceived as generous of them to free up space; it would be bloody weird and an invasion of privacy!

Yes, she should turn her camera. I personally would also report it to 101, given that he was wandering down the garden, but seems I'm paranoid going by what the other comments say!

Dizzy1234 · 14/04/2021 12:47

We call it skip ratting round here, done it myself, nowt like a good rummage in someone else's skip plus it makes more room for the person who hired it.
I'd be more worried that one of them walked down her property, can you go round and move the camera or speak to a neighbour, get them to do it and keep an eye on her?
Personally if someone were on my property excluding the rummaging in the skip I'd ring the police on the non emergency number

GoddessKali · 14/04/2021 13:12

Unrelated but i leave anything i think people will like at the top and front of the skip or just outside of it hoping they will take it

JokeTheCoalman · 14/04/2021 13:18

Neither of you seem the brightest

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 14/04/2021 13:23

@JokeTheCoalman

Neither of you seem the brightest
Which is why I sooooooooo need your advice Oh Wise One. And yet you contributed nothing Sad
OP posts:
3CCC · 14/04/2021 13:28

Not seeing the issue

Think of how many Antiques Roadshow valuations have started with " I found this [priceless object] in a skip"

msbevvy · 14/04/2021 13:28

Is it just me or is everyone else now getting ads for Skippy peanut butter on this thread?

LookItsMeAgain · 14/04/2021 14:30

@msbevvy

Is it just me or is everyone else now getting ads for Skippy peanut butter on this thread?
LOL! No, I'm not (thank goodness). I am pleased that I'm also not getting ads for stickers that resemble labia as that appeared as a link in a different thread...but enough about that! Grin Grin
PussyCatEatingEasterEggs · 14/04/2021 14:37

OP she can't be that worried if she's gone out for the day and wouldn't adjust the camera.
Leave her to it.

ViciousJackdaw · 14/04/2021 16:40

@PussyCatEatingEasterEggs

OP she can't be that worried if she's gone out for the day and wouldn't adjust the camera. Leave her to it.
Exactly what I thought too - perhaps she's just after hunz and sympathy for some reason?
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