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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not do anything for DS birthday?

23 replies

thegreenlight · 14/04/2021 10:03

DS is 9 this year - due to a rubbish lockdown birthday last year we have planned for him to have an all singing and dancing Tipi sleepover party in the garden with 3 friends from his bubble with an escape room at home (will cost about £500 all in). This was due to be on his actual birthday but we have moved our booking to 30odd days later to coincide with more relaxed COVID regs.

So now we have nothing for him to do on his actual birthday (which Is on a bank holiday 🙄) I don’t know what to do because I don’t really want to spend a lot due to spending so much on his party. Am I a miser? We will do fave takeaway and presents and a little cake and balloons but all is organised for the following month. DH doesn’t care but I have terrible mum guilt - give me ideas! Please!

OP posts:
Angrypregnantlady · 14/04/2021 10:05

Picnic at a nice park? Weather's nice and it's a Bank Holiday, might as well go out for the day.

sadpapercourtesan · 14/04/2021 10:05

It's fine not to spend money you don't have on an outing, but we would probably do something celebratory at home, like a games tournament, or an all-day movie marathon with duvets and popcorn, or a barbecue in the garden.

Chickychoccyegg · 14/04/2021 10:10

We'd have a fairly chilled day, playing with new presents, something nice for lunch, take away dinner, cake and movie.
9 is old enough to understand the party is a few days later.

Exhausted4ever · 14/04/2021 10:10

You're spending 500 quid on his birthday party, you really don't need to feel guilty at all even if you did nothing on his birthday but you are, balloons, takeaway and cake is as much as many kids get without the party later. Don't worry about it

Original poster
thegreenlight · 14/04/2021 10:22

DS is so excited about the party - we are going all out on a theme that he is really excited about. He doesn’t really care about the day, he’s pretty undemanding to be fair. I’m a bit worried about regulations ruining a day out too. This is all about me and my guilt. He mentioned the seaside but it’s nearly 3 hours away! I’ve just booked for Disneyworld next year so feeling a bit like theme parks are a waste of money in the U.K. anyway.

OP posts:
Mumof1andacat · 14/04/2021 10:28

I never had anything like this even as an adult!. I'm sure presents, cake and a takeaway will be enough on the day. He has a party booked. More than enough. My 8 yr old has never had £500 spent on a birthday celebration.

DancesWithDaffodils · 14/04/2021 10:50

Favourite meal (not always restaurant or take away), cake, presents and a couple of balloons is a standard birthday here.
Often with a party the weekend before or after - but not always.
You've got the advantage of a bank holiday if you want to go somewhere, but he's got a fabulous party booked. Dont stress.

winifredwells · 14/04/2021 10:56

So now we have nothing for him to do on his actual birthday

it's not true, you have presents, cake, just organise a treat day. (watching favourite movie with pizza/pop corn, going somewhere local for something he likes). You know your kid, as long as you make a fuss on the day, it's not "nothing".

At 9 they are old enough to understand parties can be later.

Many kids don't even celebrate their birthday at home on the day when the parents are working, you do it at the weekend. Don't worry about it, your kid doesn't seem to be missing out on anything.

ShinyGreenElephant · 14/04/2021 10:57

We had the same thing - DDs party delayed til after 17th May so she could have more friends and they could come in the house if they want to. On the daywe had a special breakfast, balloons and stuff, then we went to my mums for a bbq in the garden, came home and had a movie marathon of her favourite films the rest of us don't like and her favourite takeaway. She loved it and we will more than make up for it in may

Original poster
thegreenlight · 14/04/2021 11:03

Thankyou all - I think I’m acutely aware of how rubbish his last birthday was and want to make up for it! I will take all your brilliant suggestions and do something small and focus on the party next month!

OP posts:
Mintyflesh · 14/04/2021 12:17

He's mentioned the seaside which I guess for an undemanding child means he really wants to go to the seaside but knows it's a big ask as it's so far away, and he is getting the party later. I would be very surprised if he really wasn't bothered about the actual day itself, it just sounds like he doesn't want to be too demanding.
I would take him to the seaside.

SummerHouse · 14/04/2021 12:24

We did a treasure hunt for presents. BBQ. Cake. Movie. Takeaway.

He doesn't want a party or anything else. No guilt here. Grin

Oneeyeopen · 14/04/2021 12:28

Make his actual birthday his 'choice' day.
Give him a list of food, entertainment etc that he can choose from.
Children that age love being in charge.

Plumbear2 · 14/04/2021 13:46

He is more than old enough to understand his party won't be on his actual birthday. He is getting cake, presents and family time on his birthday, that's what most kids get and claiming mum guilt is ridiculous.

3Britnee · 14/04/2021 13:58

@Exhausted4ever

You're spending 500 quid on his birthday party, you really don't need to feel guilty at all even if you did nothing on his birthday but you are, balloons, takeaway and cake is as much as many kids get without the party later. Don't worry about it
Exactly this.
AtleastitsnotMonday · 14/04/2021 14:22

Will you buy him a gift? Any other people likely to give him presents? If you know what presents he is likely to get I would build a day around getting lots of opportunity to try presents out. E.g if he gets a skate board a trip to the skate park, new games console, time to game with friends, new tennis racquet, trip to tennis courts etc.

FireflyRainbow · 14/04/2021 14:27

Sure he will have presents to open. Do a picky tea then have popcorn and pretend you are at the cinema.

FireflyRainbow · 14/04/2021 14:28

Tell him he can have a yes day! Within reason of the restrictions 😂 choc cake for breakfast, yes!

BrumBoo · 14/04/2021 14:48

This is the worst not-so-stealth brag I've seen here for a while Hmm.

'Oh I'm just spending £500 on my child, but only getting a takeaway for his birthday, presents, small home party, I'm suuuuch a miser'. Sure thing.

Springsnake · 14/04/2021 14:52

Most people can only afford the balloons cake and presents on the day ,never mind the escape room ,the tipi and trip to Disney land
A lot of people have actually lost their jobs
Very insensitive post

Meowchickameowmeow · 14/04/2021 14:55

@BrumBoo

This is the worst not-so-stealth brag I've seen here for a while Hmm.

'Oh I'm just spending £500 on my child, but only getting a takeaway for his birthday, presents, small home party, I'm suuuuch a miser'. Sure thing.

...and then slipping in about the holiday to Disneyworld!
BrumBoo · 14/04/2021 14:58

and then slipping in about the holiday to Disneyworld!

Oh yes, just noticed that Grin. Oh woe is poor OPs son, how will he make do on his birthday?! Send us your PayPal details, I'm sure we can all club together for the poor mite.

FearlessSwiftie · 15/04/2021 10:38

I think it's fine and you can have a family picnic like Angrypregnantlady said and also treat him to some fun games or just a movie night at home. There are plenty of ideas about having a Birthday on budget, you can make a Happy Birthday slideshow for him, play some games or have a DIY activity. Here is a good article about Birthday party at home- www.parents.com/fun/birthdays/ideas/17-tips-to-throw-a-kids-birthday-party-on-a-budget/ which can help you with ideas! Trying the presents out is also a great thing to do.

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