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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel upset that my 3 month dd ignored me....

20 replies

justme27 · 11/11/2007 23:38

I left my dd at my parents house for the day as I had to attend an urgent appointment. I have left her there before for a few hours but this time it was from about 10am to 4.30pm, longest she has been left.

Usually when she hears my voice, she reacts and gets excited. This time, she totally ignored me and kept staring at my mum. i called her name numerous times but she seemed to look everywhere but at me.

Can a 3 month baby understand enough to be angry with me for leaving her?

Or am I being an insecure idiot :-s

OP posts:
emkana · 11/11/2007 23:39

She's your first, right?

In the kindest possible way: You are being unreasonable.

Original poster
justme27 · 11/11/2007 23:43

lol she is my first!! How did you guess :-)

So its not possible then!! \felt upset - how stupid...

wasnt helped by my mum saying ' see how content she is, she didnt even notice that you weren't there'

Thanks mum for making me feel my nonstop attention and caring for dd means nothing!!

OP posts:
wrinklytum · 11/11/2007 23:44

Don't worry Be happy.

emkana · 11/11/2007 23:44

How did she react once she was back in your arms?

She's only 3 months old!

When my dd1 was two she would scream and cry and howl when it was time to leave her grandma's house. Now that was a bit of a pain.

sandcastles · 11/11/2007 23:45

The fact that she was happy without you is a good thing.

Enjoy it, when she is 2 & holllering & clinging to your leg so you can't even go to the loo in peace, you'll miss it!

Original poster
justme27 · 11/11/2007 23:46

lol god help me when I get to that stage if this is what I'm like now!!

She was okay I guess - maybe i was noticing normal behaviour becuase I was feeling bad..

Thanks MNers, made me feel better

xx

OP posts:
susiecutiebananas · 11/11/2007 23:53

it shows that she is happy and secure so, you are doing a good job

I was going to say, mine is 10 months now, and screams and is really really clingy to me at the moment. Its bloody hard work, and upsets alot of the people that do reguarly see her... she also pushes them out of the way in an effort to climb out of their arms to get to me its really embarrassing sometimes... but, I KNOW its another one of those phases!

I do remember feeling quite miffed at my dd totally ignoring me in prefernce to her daddy, when he had been away working all week... She clearly preferred him to me, yet i was doing all the hard work I was not happy! she is still a daddies girl, despite that he still works away mon- friday! so, i get a bit of respite from the clinging at the w/e

dont feel bad, like i say, it just shows you are doing everything right, and making her happy and secure enough to go to other people! your reaction is totally natural though

Original poster
justme27 · 11/11/2007 23:55

thanks for that - I think it was the comment combined with my mood that made me so para!!

OP posts:
LuckyUnderpants · 12/11/2007 00:03

dont let it worry you, as long as she is happy. lo are funny take ds for instance:

last week xp comes to pick him up, he runs (well its kind of an arkward wiggle/toddle) into his arms, xp puts him down to go and fix the carseat into his car ds screams the place down!

this week xp comes to pick ds up, he glances sideways at him, gives him a 'huh' sound as if to say 'not you again' and turns back to the tv. then completely ignores him while xp is calling his name

Eliza2 · 12/11/2007 13:01

I was going to say that she was happy and secure and you (and your mother, temporarily) had done a great job but I've been beaten to it!

kslatts · 12/11/2007 14:03

I would be pleased that she had settled and wasn't crying for you the whole time. My dd's are now 5 and 8, are always really happy to be left with grandparents and often seem disappointed when I go to collect them.

Flame · 12/11/2007 14:03

Aww, she's 3 months, tis fine

Original poster
justme27 · 12/11/2007 20:29

lol

thanks everyone!!!!!!

xxxx

OP posts:
Original poster
justme27 · 12/11/2007 20:29

lol

thanks everyone!!!!!!

xxxx

OP posts:
Original poster
justme27 · 12/11/2007 20:29

lol

thanks everyone!!!!!!

xxxx

OP posts:
Surfermum · 12/11/2007 20:36

I hate it when I drop dd at my mums and she runs off without a backward glance.

I hate it when she clings to my leg and says "don't go mummy".

Surfermum · 12/11/2007 20:36

I hate it when I drop dd at my mums and she runs off without a backward glance.

I hate it when she clings to my leg and says "don't go mummy".

Flame · 12/11/2007 20:39

No pleasin you is there Surfer?

Surfermum · 12/11/2007 20:42

Nope!

beeper · 12/11/2007 20:47

Hmmmmm if you think thats bad......

My 8 year old DS is homeschooled and once a week he goes all day and I mean all day to his grandparents and they go through the work that he has and then they do other things like gardening and baking etc....................................................My DS said to me "im sorry mummy but I love them the same as I love you....and i prefer it at their house as its much calmer"

Well what did I do....nothing I was just so pleased that DS has a wonderful and strong relationship with grandparents.

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