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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to not want to leave DS for two nights at 18 months old?

43 replies

Slatternforlife · 14/04/2021 07:29

We had a holiday booked for two nights last year in Cornwall, just me and DH, but due to Covid it was cancelled.
DS was going to be staying with my mum and I felt comfortable with it at the time as he wasn’t particularly clingy and very chilled.
Now though we are supposed to be going at the beginning of July and I’m already starting to dread leaving him.
He’s very very clingy with me at the moment and much more hard work (but fun!) than he was when we were originally going to leave him and due to Covid mum, who was going to be looking after him, has only ever had him for a few hours at a time and I’ve always been in the house working elsewhere.

I just keep thinking it’s not going to be fair on him as he’s not used to it and we are going to be really far away, it’s not like we can just pop back if something goes wrong, it’s a five hour drive! (We picked it because we had some credit to use for the hotel).

I’m in a dilemma now as what to do, DH is fine with going and can’t wait and I’ve been looking forward to it up until now when the anxiety has kicked in and I just keep thinking but what if something goes wrong while we aren’t there? I trust mum or I wouldn’t have suggested her looking after him in the first place but I just can’t shake the feeling :(

OP posts:
SeaTurtles92 · 14/04/2021 14:22

I'd take him or look for somewhere I can take him.
I wouldn't leave them that young but that is of course my IMO. 5 hours is a bit too far.

SeaTurtles92 · 14/04/2021 14:23

@BeeDavis

If you can’t leave him now you never will! Not good for you or the child. I’m pregnant and due in October. We already had a night away planned in December before falling pregnant and we will be going. My mum has insisted and she’ll have the baby. I would hate to be in a situation where me and my fiancé can’t have a night away from the child!
Do you have children or is this your first?
Original poster
Slatternforlife · 14/04/2021 16:20

I thought it would be better for him to stay at home, then it's easier to entertain him as all his toys etc are here, our area is more child friendly and he refuses to sleep in the travel cot!

I think a practise run is actually a good idea.

She's put him down for naps okay before, and fed him lunch on her own/taken him out for walks etc just not had him for a particularly long time on her own before. I just keep worrying something will happen and it will take us so long to get back

OP posts:
TerribleCustomerCervix · 14/04/2021 16:34

@LeibnizQueen

I'm very much of the opinion that you need to invest in marriage preservation when kids are small and hard work. Preservation before its is a crisis I mean.
I’d agree with this. You can’t take each other for granted and sometimes a unbroken nights sleep and waking up beside each other after a long lie in is just what you need.

Your ds will have a ball with his granny fussing over him.

Original poster
Slatternforlife · 14/04/2021 16:56

@TerribleCustomerCervix thank you, I feel like I do need a break but feel selfish for feeling like that. As you can tell, my anxiety has started to creep in (I suffer from health anxiety on and off, currently managed but starting to rear its head again and I think that's why the idea of something 'happening' is playing on my mind)

OP posts:
DelBocaVista · 14/04/2021 17:00

Don't ever feel selfish for wanting a break or for wanting some time on your own with your husband.

GrandTheftWalrus · 14/04/2021 17:18

I booked an overnight for me and dh when I was pregnant with my first. We went and had a great time. She started to go to my parents house from 4 weeks old. Never been anxious about leaving her since.

You need adult time alone.

IEat · 14/04/2021 17:22

Your mum raised you, unless you’re worried because she raised you

EmeraldShamrock · 14/04/2021 18:15

It would be fine but I'd take him too.

Plumtree391 · 14/04/2021 19:17

I'd take him.

Livingonadream · 14/04/2021 20:31

OP has already said she can't take him as it an adults only facility.

EmeraldShamrock · 14/04/2021 21:39

As you can't take him do a trail run beforehand if he can't manage you can collect - I'd build up from an hour to an overnight a couple of weeks before you go.
You should go, if you prepare and build up it won't be a shock.

EmeraldShamrock · 14/04/2021 21:39

*Trial

Plumtree391 · 15/04/2021 10:53

@Livingonadream

OP has already said she can't take him as it an adults only facility.
She can cancel it surely? If she goes she won't relax.

Eighteen months is too young to be left overnight, never mind two nights, unless an emergency arises such as parents in hospital or whatever.

In a year or two he may be ready to stay with grandma and grandad overnight, even enjoy it, but at the moment he wants his mum.

DelBocaVista · 15/04/2021 21:57

Eighteen months is too young to be left overnight, never mind two nights, unless an emergency arises such as parents in hospital or whatever.

Says who?

TerribleCustomerCervix · 16/04/2021 10:10

Eighteen months is too young to be left overnight, never mind two nights, unless an emergency arises such as parents in hospital or whatever.

This is mental. And wrong.

Allwokedup · 16/04/2021 13:07

Go and enjoy yourself he’ll be fine! It’s more your mum it’s not fair on, a full on 18 month old for two days! Eek. I find my own 18 month old exhausting! He will be spoilt by his granny and have a fab time, this is mum guilt. You are a person as well as a mum who deserves time away.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 16/04/2021 13:14

Better to do it now than the first time being when (if) it'll be when there's a new baby to for him to come home to.

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