Stopping breastfeeding

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How did you stop bf? My ds is 2 1/2yo and shows no sign of wanting to and is obsessed with it! A few friends have said their child just stopped wanting it one day. When does this happen? Does this happen? My ds wakes in the night for it multiple times. I so want a decent night sleep!

I'm usually the first one to object to things like 'boob to sleep' but 'hand boob' is in a class of its own. That's magnificent!

I'm so glad it's working! I think the "It's only for a while, you'll miss it" comments are crazy! I hate not getting enough sleep, feel awful all day and don't parent as well either! I stopped at 14/15 months and it was easy they never looked for it once it was gone, I was careful not to appear topless for a few weeks near them! Just started giving milk in a cup in morning and nighttime they weren't fussed at all! You've done an amazing job, get some sleep now!!!

As for comfort...I fed till 14/ 15 months and didn't do it on demand except when tiny babies, children seem pretty happy, confident, they get all the cuddles and time with me they could possibly need, at the ages being discussed here, just explain to them it's stopping and stay firm, they will be fine! It really isn't brutal! Cover them away, offer something else instead if that helps!

Ds came into my room this morning at 5:30, didn't ask for milk, just wanted a cuddle. I feel so refreshed! I didn't think it would be this easy to crack!

@Alleycat02 I think during the day is hard! My ds always asks for it when I sit down on the sofa although he is liking cuddles now so hopefully will switch bf for cuddles. Or hand boob!

@birdglasspen thanks for your advice, it was comforting to hear how it's not mean!

Excellent post by dot dash.

Interesting about teeth and weaning though, people often refer to humans natural age of weaning by reference to when milk teeth usually come out... but in kittens don't teeth come out quite a bit after they wean? Like they wean at about 8 or 9 weeks but lose teeth at more like 14 -16 weeks?

The extended bf mums I knew had got their periods back by the time the child was 2 or maybe 2 and a half so kind of always assumed in nature most babies would be weaned by about age 3 as without modern contraception another baby would come along. Most people lose their milk in pregnancy and it can be uncomfortable to feed so it's quite common for toddlers to wean when mum falls pregnant again. In nature (and in human populations) tandem feeding babies from different pregnancies is quite rare so I sort of assume that is the exception rather than the rule.

So glad I’ve found this thread. I’m so ready to stop feeding my 16 month old but it’s also the easiest way to get him to sleep so I feel completely stuck and trapped tbh.

He currently feeds morning, before nap and evening (but not fed to sleep at bedtime anymore). I don’t know how to stop feeding to sleep for nap time as I can’t see him settling without it, even though he self settles at bedtime.

He also wants feeding at other random times of the day and I’m starting to hate it. Pulling at my top, gets angry if I say no. It’s horrible!

@Forevercurious that's good he does it for bedtime! I have no advice as i'm still feeding to sleep at night but I was only wanting/desperate to get rid of the night feeds. I completely understand the feeling of wanting to stop and feeling quite annoyed at being grabbed! I wish you good luck!

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland that is interesting. My periods came back when ds was nearly 2 1/2

I have a friend who put Tabasco sauce on her nipples and just said that it had gone bad. It worked very well as she wasn't denying the child of what she wanted and it just came to a very nice end.

I am currently breastfeeding my third child. With all three the first step towards stopping has been wanting them to sleep through. With all three I had to do the cold turkey for the night feed first. I just would cuddle but not offer milk. There were tears at first but they soon stopped.

The older two did then just gradually drop daytime milk around 2 years. My youngest is still going at 3.5. She doesn't have milk every single day just when I put her to bed. DH and I take it in turns. Tonight she forgot to ask for milk and was just about to sleep when she said "I nearly forgot to have my mummy milk" I said something like " you don't really need.it anymore" and she said "yes I do!" I don't know if she'll stop naturally but I think tonight is a sigh that we are getting there. I am happy to feed her until she wants to stop but I wouldn't be happy to feed through the night.

My DS had always been a crap sleeper and I did actually night wean a couple of months ago and he started sleeping through. However he has now taken a massive step backwards and is awake for between one and three hours a night when he wakes up! Some nights I do just give in and feed him because he just does not settle and I am sick of being up for hours on end. I’m stuck in a horrible sleep deprived cycle and honestly just want to chop my boob off (yes he only feeds from one side!) if anyone has any other advice I’d be so grateful after another awful night!

@Wynston didn't it hurt??

@Forevercurious your post made my heart sink. All good and then awake for so long in the night? That sounds really tough!

My child was a couple of days off 3 before I stopped completely. I did a similar thing to you with the night feeds around 20 months so by around 2.5 he was only down to feeding first thing in the morning and and last drink before bed. So it was fine but then came a time I thought I just stop I had it in my head 3. So I decided to offer cup of warm milk instead then brush teeth, then bed. The cup of milk did not work at at...so I offered him milkshake instead of breast milk he totally chose the milkshake...I eventually weakened it down over a week until we started calling it just milk and 2 weeks later it was completely just milk and he was into that routine. That's how I completely weaned him off.

Sorry hurt in what way???

Wynston - Putting disgusting stuff on your nipples to help weaning is just...cruel. Tobasco would burn/hurt a young child's mouth, surely. There are better ways and a whole load of useful advice on how to implement said better ways without resulting to this.

OP - really pleased the nightweaning has gone so smoothly. You've done amazingly to bf til this stage, it is exhausting. I found I had to avoid sitting down on the sofa too much at that age as as soon as my bum hit the cushion he's be right there for a feed! haha!

bf really worked for us though and we fed til natural term - 4y4m in our case...but the last year or two was only wake up and bed time feeds, so much more manageable.

If you do decide to wean completely - be warned that it can take a little while for your hormones to settle, I felt really angry and emotional for quite a while after stopping.

Hope the blissful sleep continues!

Oh no sorry the child never even tried it the smell put them off.
I apologise it wasn't a hot sauce-it was a sauce that had a fish smell to it???
No child was hurt I assure you just the smell to deter them.

It was woctershire sauce

My son did hand boob! Although we didn't call it that, I would just offer him to hold and that worked fine.

I also did an overnight bin off breastfeeding because my son was getting a bit violent with me. I didn't know this at the time but it can be a sign of readiness to stop anyway when they aren't behaving well around feeding.

I offered cuddles and/or a drink of water and also when he asked I would just say that there wasn't any milk in my boobies any more. Obvs as time goes on this is actually true and he tried a suck a couple of weeks ago and there was nothing there.

He also stopped at 2y5 months.

To the pp who asked about extended breastfeeding, I am not sure if many people plan to breastfeed a toddler, they just breastfeed their babies and then find it continuing as their baby grows a bit bigger! That was true for me in any case, neither of us were ready to stop until I very much was!

Project completed, dh put ds to bed tonight. No tears, just a lovely cuddle and straight to bed! Thank you all for your advice, this has changed my life!!