Sister's Bridesmaids

12 replies

Mamaemmeline · 13/04/2021 21:51

Looking for some honest thoughts as not sure if I'm being too sensitive / unfair.

I'm one of three girls, I'm the eldest. My youngest sister is getting married in the summer and she has asked our middle sister to be a bridesmaid and not me. I'm really quite hurt that she hasn't asked me and really not looking forward to the wedding day. It's made me feel quite sad about our relationship as I had assumed she would have asked us both.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 13/04/2021 21:54

Are you sure you definitely won’t be a bridesmaid? Could she be planning to ask you in person?

Are you already married and maybe she thinks bridesmaids aren’t supposed to be?

Clutching at straws here because that sounds really hurtful. Is there back story?

Sunnyjac · 13/04/2021 21:54

I think I’d feel the same as you. How’s your relationship usually?

LouiseTrees · 13/04/2021 21:58

Phone her and say “ I heard x is your bridesmaid, am I too old?” in a jokey way. But only if you get on well. Then ask her what colour the girls will be wearing if she says you are not and tell her then it’s so you don’t unwittingly match.

GoWalkabout · 13/04/2021 22:01

This is one to be gracious on I think.

Elouera · 13/04/2021 22:01

Have you spoken to her since she asked your other sister? COuld she be waiting to ask face to face? Could she be asking you to be a matron of honour, usher or doing a reading? Is there a back story?

Footloosefancyfree · 13/04/2021 22:02

Are you close op, what is your dm opinion? I can see why your hurt my dm wanted both my dbros as groomsman even though I don't get on one with one of them. When it came to being godfather I only asked the one my dbro1. My dbro 2 excluded me from his wedding party but I was in dbro 1 wedding party and dbro2 was excluded. Me and Dbro1 are closer and we get on with each better.

Elouera · 13/04/2021 22:02

Do you have children/busy life/ live far away and she might feel she is imposing if she did ask you?

JeffTheOracle · 13/04/2021 22:04

Have you ever been a bridesmaid before? She may think you wouldn't want to do it for some reason

Queenoftheashes · 13/04/2021 22:06

Mm not on. I’d either have both sisters or neither. Probably neither. But equal opportunities.

GrumpyHoonMain · 13/04/2021 22:07

I personally wouldn’t ask. If she cared she would have already explained to you why she didn’t choose you. Seems like she might be deliberately waiting for you to ask to create drama and so don’t feed her your reaction. Wish her well, if you get invited then enjoy the wedding like a guest, buy a dress you like, and just let her get on with it.

FrankButchersDickieBow · 13/04/2021 22:07

I asked my oldest sister to me my bridesmaid and she said no. I was hurt too, but she genuinely felt she was too old to be a bridesmaid. I was a bit hurt, but she just wanted to enjoy the day with her fairly new partner and as soon as I knew, it was fine.

Do you think she may think you won't want to be a bridesmaid, but has gone about it clumsily?

Mum497 · 13/04/2021 22:08

Sorry to hear this. I'm also one of three sisters and I really don't get along with my younger sister but have a close relationship with my older sister. When I started planning my wedding I knew I wanted my older sister as a bridesmaid and because of that reason I knew I had to also ask my younger sister too. Apart of me wishes I had the bollocks to fuck her feelings off and not ask her because she made no effort what so ever as a bridesmaid and made the whole thing about her whereas my older sister went above and beyond to make sure everything was amazing for me. I do think it takes a certain type of person to do what your sister has done, stronger than me for sticking with what she wants but also on the other hand arguably quite heartless.

Flip