To not know what to do about 8 year old son?

[Rara1968]

My 8 year old son is suspected to be autistic, he is currently in the system, in a long waiting listing, waiting assessment.

Tonight, he has had another violent outburst. He punches me and DH in the face, scratches, spits, trys to hit us with heavy objects etc. Tonight he has found a mallett and said it wasnt to attack us but to smash the glass in display cabinet. He hit the tv with metal bottle and dented the screen. This is on top If the pretty much daily torrid of verbal abuse. We have 3 DDs, all older than him. He is occasionally violent to them.

We are on the verge of contacting SS. The whole house is effected by his outbursts. So worried for the future.

It sounds awful for you all, but what are you expecting SS to do?
Can you film some/part of his outbursts, to show your GP, and tell them you need help.

It sounds awful for you all, but what are you expecting SS to do?
Can you film some/part of his outbursts, to show your GP, and tell them you need help.

Right now, take him away. Yes we have but think Gp will just refer to SS, hes already in system to be assessed.

Maybe contact Early Help , the precursor to SS. They will be able to signpost you to available support and their involvement will most definitely help towards an EHCP , if needed, which schools are, at the moment, very slow to process.

I dont know whether SSwill help as it depends if you get people who understand autism, but there are early help teams.

I understand there are long waits but i wonder if you can contact your local NAS branch and see if there are any local groups or courses you can access already.

There are groups for challenging behaviour too. Look up Yvonne Newbald tonight and look at some of her videos about coping with challenging behaviour and techniques to help. You dont need a diagnosis to start using them.

You need some help to manage his anger, by identifying the things that stress him out and the things that help to calm him. It will be a long wait for help on the NHS but there are other sources, if you can afford it there are specialists who will come to your house to observe your son and give advice. Your local authority should have details on its website of the "local offer" for children with SEN, some of this will be free, provided by charities and some paying. That could be a good place to start?

Are the school engaged? The school does not need a diagnosis to put help in place and if they can reduce his stress during the day it will make his behaviour at home better.

Newbold - spelling error

The important thing is to remove all hard objects which could be used to hurt somebody. Ideally, you would put them in a shed and lock it. If you shut mallets, heavy metal objects, glasses, etc in an internal room, you have to be sure he won't, at some point, work out how to kick the door in; or somebody forgets and has it open.

You need to protect yourselves and to get out of the firing line when this is happening. Safety- proof the house, and have a plan of what to do in case these events occur. You need to put physical safeguarding as a top priority.

There will be help going forward, and care workers and teaching assistants and mentors who have chosen to work in the system are, by and large, dedicated, compassionate and patient. It sounds like your son needs to be managed at times like these by trained people who know how to hold him back safely, and it sounds like two personnel need to be working together 1:2 with him, at times when he is having these outbursts.

Ideally SS would provide direct payments for staff to come to work with you. Getting your son into a special school with trained staff would help a lot.

In your shoes I'd be asking school, GP and SS how to keep your family safe. Ask for someone to come to do a report on your home to see if , as an environment, it physically meets your son's needs and that it is set up to keep all of you and your son himself safe.

You do need to tell SS. Your job is to record the detail of these outbursts.Make sure you give specific examples as you have on this thread, so the full risks are known.