I cried at work today

imnotacrier · 2021-04-13T14:55:58+00:00

I feel so annoyed with myself for crying. I have been on long term sick and recently returned and its just too much for me. I constantly feel so tired and such a let down to my colleagues. I feel as if my colleagues are annoyed with me for been off sick so long during covid times. They don't know the full reason I was off sick, I think if they knew they would be more understanding but I just don't feel comfortable telling them.

Doyoumind · 13/04/2021 16:01

Have you posted previously about nor wanting to go back to work?

Maybe your colleagues are annoyed and maybe not. Does it matter what they think? If so, tell them.

Does your manager know how you are feeling? Are they sympathetic?

Original poster

imnotacrier · 13/04/2021 16:06

@Doyoumind

Have you posted previously about nor wanting to go back to work?

Maybe your colleagues are annoyed and maybe not. Does it matter what they think? If so, tell them.

Does your manager know how you are feeling? Are they sympathetic?

no I wanted to go bak to work thats why I'm so annoyed with myself because I thought returning to work would help me to recover. Manager not sympathetic

OP posts:

KarensChoppyBob · 13/04/2021 16:11

Honestly it's totally normal to cry OP, anyone who can control it all the time is a robot IMO

Does the reason you were off sick still affect you now?

Regardless, we can all imagine the worst about what other people may or may not be thinking. That way madness lies. No point focusing on it IMO.

Feeling overwhelmed is totally normal
and it will pass, promise x

MindTheBumps · 13/04/2021 16:13

People can't just get signed off work Willy nilly so you must have a genuine reason to have been off, I am sure your colleagues are sympathetic to that, I know I would be.

Be kind to yourself and don't try to guess what others are thinking. Would a phased return be easier?

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN · 13/04/2021 16:15

Oh dear. It's horrible crying somewhere you don't feel comfortable doing so.

Maybe a full day was too much?
Maybe it's too soon?

Are you home now?

Putthekettleon2021 · 13/04/2021 16:34

Returning to work is difficult from long term sickness. I hope you're feeling better.

If your colleagues have been up against it with extra work then they are misdirecting their frustration. They should be frustrated with management. I'm sorry they've been unkind. If you don't feel comfortable discussing why you were off sick then don't. It's none of their business. If it's too soon to be back full time maybe consider a phased return.

I hope things get better soon.

Lifeisforalimitedperiodonly · 13/04/2021 16:39

OP, if you have been off long term sick then you should have a phased return. If you haven't then no wonder you are feeling exhausted.

thebillyotea · 13/04/2021 16:42

People can't just get signed off work Willy nilly so you must have a genuine reason to have been off

sadly, you can, that's the problem. People who need the time off are being put in the same bag as piss takers.

But either way, management should have organised a replacement so the rest of the team would barely notice the difference, not put up with one less person for months.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 13/04/2021 16:45

That sounds so hard. I would imagine it would always be a bit of a shock to the system trying to get back into the old routine.
Have your colleagues actually said anything untoward or is it just how you feel.
If you feel there is a bit of an atmosphere, is there any colleague who might be more sympathetic that you could talk to?
There might be something else going on that is depressing them.
Do you think that you might be feeling more sensitive than usual to your colleagues because you do still feel tired and overwhelmed?
Could it be that you think they are being off with you but in fact they are just busy? I remember feeling really awkward on my initial return from maternity leave (not helped by my boss) but after a day or two it was just back to normal. I hope it works out for you, as previous poster said be kind to yourself and try to relax when you get home

Kenneldogsrock · 13/04/2021 16:54

Well done on going back. They are just busy and probably don’t know what to say to you. However, I know when a colleague came back recently we were very happy to see them and also have more capacity in the team

NoGoodPunsLeft · 13/04/2021 16:59

Are.you the OP who was looking for call centre/admin jobs, possibly in Newcastle? I'm so sorry you are struggling, it must be so hard to want to be at work but then finding it so hard once you are.

Hopefully you'll feel better after a few more days/weeks

Blufandango · 13/04/2021 17:12

Crying at work is nothing to be ashamed of. Even though you wanted to go back, you'll have been thinking about it for ages and I bet you struggled to sleep last night. You'll have been full of adrenaline this morning and when that goes it makes you feel worn out. Do you have a union rep? Give them a call if you do. Your colleagues will soon forget you've been off, they will be unhappy in general because of the pandemic, not just with you. Hopefully everything will be much more normal tomorrow, you could maybe take in some wrapped biscuits to cheer everyone up. Good luck

lookdeepintotheparka · 13/04/2021 17:29

Should definitely have been a phased return along with management support for you OP.

I'm a manager and have had staff in tears quite a bit over the last year with all the stress of Covid and childcare etc. Nothing to be ashamed of and I hope your workmates will rally around

Do you have access to external support at work? We have linked organisations that can provide support to both staff and management after someone has been off sick for a while. Maybe check with HR if your line manager isn't up to speed on this.

Original poster

imnotacrier · 13/04/2021 17:37

@DuckbilledSplatterPuff

That sounds so hard. I would imagine it would always be a bit of a shock to the system trying to get back into the old routine. Have your colleagues actually said anything untoward or is it just how you feel. If you feel there is a bit of an atmosphere, is there any colleague who might be more sympathetic that you could talk to? There might be something else going on that is depressing them. Do you think that you might be feeling more sensitive than usual to your colleagues because you do still feel tired and overwhelmed? Could it be that you think they are being off with you but in fact they are just busy? I remember feeling really awkward on my initial return from maternity leave (not helped by my boss) but after a day or two it was just back to normal. I hope it works out for you, as previous poster said be kind to yourself and try to relax when you get home

They are busy and thats probably what it is and I am been oversensitive. Struggling with fatigue which is making me more anxious. Thank you I am trying to be as kind to myself as possible, its just hard sometimes.

OP posts:

Original poster

imnotacrier · 13/04/2021 17:39

@Lifeisforalimitedperiodonly

OP, if you have been off long term sick then you should have a phased return. If you haven't then no wonder you are feeling exhausted.

I am on a phased return but still feeling exhausted 😩

OP posts:

Original poster

imnotacrier · 13/04/2021 18:13

@NoGoodPunsLeft

Are.you the OP who was looking for call centre/admin jobs, possibly in Newcastle? I'm so sorry you are struggling, it must be so hard to want to be at work but then finding it so hard once you are.

Hopefully you'll feel better after a few more days/weeks

no thats not me not posted anything about work before.

It is hard I find it so frustrating that my body/mind is not how it was 😢

OP posts:

BusyLizzie61 · 13/04/2021 19:04

no I wanted to go bak to work thats why I'm so annoyed with myself because I thought returning to work would help me to recover.
Manager not sympathetic

Without knowing why you were off, people do lose some degree of sympathy and empathy when they have had to carry your workload and especially if they have had to continue during the pandemic and it appears as though you've been sat at home all cosy.

If you have a phased return, I presume that your manager was involved with developing this along with HR. So,I wonder if she too is solely being factual due to having seen the impact for the last months on her team. And perhaps not fully understanding your absence.

Would it not be preferable to be honest with colleagues about the general reasons for your absence so they can understand a little more and not think you've just been taking the piss, which is often the conclusion people draw.

Original poster

imnotacrier · 13/04/2021 19:09

@BusyLizzie61

*no I wanted to go bak to work thats why I'm so annoyed with myself because I thought returning to work would help me to recover. Manager not sympathetic*

Without knowing why you were off, people do lose some degree of sympathy and empathy when they have had to carry your workload and especially if they have had to continue during the pandemic and it appears as though you've been sat at home all cosy.

If you have a phased return, I presume that your manager was involved with developing this along with HR. So,I wonder if she too is solely being factual due to having seen the impact for the last months on her team. And perhaps not fully understanding your absence.

Would it not be preferable to be honest with colleagues about the general reasons for your absence so they can understand a little more and not think you've just been taking the piss, which is often the conclusion people draw.

My manager knows the reason why I was off just my colleagues who don't. It would be best to be honest with my colleagues but I struggle to talk about my illness.

OP posts:

topcat2014 · 13/04/2021 19:15

Most employees would struggle really with colleagues being off for unspecified "long term sick".

Most employers really just want bums on seats.

Sorry you are having difficulties OP, but you can't always sugar coat this type of thing.

rosieposie82 · 13/04/2021 20:26

Oh Op I feel for you this was me last year

My suggestion would be take things very slowly at your own pace. Don't worry about what your colleagues think, you don't have to tell them your health issues.

As for the crying, just remember you are only human. Everyone struggles at times.