Enjoying invisibility

[Looubylou]

Am I the only one who is actually LOVING the invisibility of middle age? I'm 52 and think it is fabulous that I can walk into a crowded place and no one looks round. I now feel free not to wear makeup if I choose because I don't feel I'm under the microscope/noticed/commented on anymore. Why are constantly told we should feel bad about this - I feel set free!

Yes! I'm 49 and I love it. It feels like a superpower. I used to feel self conscious of walking into a crowded space but now I just don't care. Nobody is looking at me. I do have friends who miss the admiring glances but like you I feel set free.

Yes me too, I'm 51 and love not having to care about what anyone thinks of me or my appearance, it's very liberating.

Totally agree. At 56 I love not having to give a shit. I spent too much of my young years worried about how I looked or trying to look my best and if I dare say it, fending off unwanted attention. I love my anonymity now.

I'm 52 and don't feel invisible at all. I enjoy wearing makeup but can honestly say I've never felt obliged to at any stage of my life.

Even thinking back to being a teenager, I had a few friends who never wore makeup.

I get that some people may feel (or have felt) pressure to wear it but quite honestly, I think some people bring that upon themselves by wanting to be the same as their friends etc.

I feel mixed about it, I think, but it's great if you are enjoying it!

mixed feelings - I've never cared what anyone thinks about me so that's not an issue but as a single 51 year olds it's a bit of a pain sometimes - hard to meet people!

My mum doesn't feel invisible, and my grand-mother feels more like a target (being obviously elderly and more "fragile") so not everyone gets that invisible feeling!

I felt more invisible as a teen than I ever have as an adult.

I enjoy middle age for the most part and I've always enjoyed getting older.

As for makeup, I've never really been burdened with it except during my teenage and young adult days. Been very comfortable without makeup or very little makeup most of my life.

It is great. Nobody looks at me anymore ( not that I got a lot of that before to be fair)
It can be good being invisible!

I'm 54 and love being middle aged. I was insecure and desperate to fit in when I was in my teens. Now I wear what I like whether it's fashionable or not, haven't bothered with makeup for years and only worry about my weight because I'm thinking about my health, not because I give a toss about what anyone thinks of my figure.

I've always been very average looking so not used to compliments when I was younger. I really think that helps as well. I think that aging must be harder for good looking people because they are used to turning heads and might get some of their self esteem from their looks

Nothing wrong with wearing fashionable clothes and makeup if that's what you enjoy but the lack of pressure is great.

I also got an autism diagnosis a couple of years ago and realised how much I copied others in an attempt to fit in.

The combination of middle age invisibility and the diagnosis has been very liberating.

Around what age does this kick in?

Started to happen around 33 for me...I was also invisible as a teenager.

I'm 40 and I fucking love it. I was 11 the first time (but not the last) that a man took his dick out in public and wanked at me.

No and I don’t get why anyone would want to be invisible, I’m not talking about not catching men’s eyes anymore but the general ignoring of middle aged women in society in general.

Its always been the law that whenever I nip out with no make up, messy hair etc and shall we say clothes I might garden in, that I will meet an infuriating acquaintance, all dressed up who will insist in one of those "catch up" convos, where they ask you about something in your life so that they can top it. Not sure how far invisibility extends

I love it too! I found the 'attention' my visibility got me when I was younger was cat calling and sexual assault, so it is a relief not to be looked at. But I am also glad I am still no trying to date - I have a gorgeous husband who thinks I still look 25, bless him.

It don't feel invisible.
I still get heckled and leered at sometimes, and I'm sure it's not because of how I look but because some men are just arseholes.

@VladmirsPoutine

Around what age does this kick in?

I guess it must vary. I’m 67 and still waiting. It must be the red lipstick.

I used to be so conscious of what I looked like and what people thought of me.
Now I don't feel invisible but I really love the freedom of being able to go out and not give a shit what people think of the way I look.

@SnowAllSpring

I'm 40 and I fucking love it. I was 11 the first time (but not the last) that a man took his dick out in public and wanked at me.

That has nothing to do with how the victim looks

Flashers are mostly opportunists and will expose themselves to the first female who walks by, if the area is quiet.

Wow. I'm 51 and I don't want to be invisible yet. Still do hair and makeup every day to WFH. I feel better if I make an effort. But I guess we're all different.

I've never felt obligated to make some kind of effort or anything, but I have never felt invisible, either at 23 or 53.

Yes, although I was never attractive enough to be 'visitor's much anyway.
The main bonus I find is that I don't get as patronized by men anymore, in all walks of life. If they try it now they get the death stare but most are more respectful now I find.

49 bloody loving it! Was thinking about this yesterday! It's so refreshing and I love it 😻

I dislike it entirely. I hope masks are here to stay - they do provide me with some comfort of obscurity, rightly or indeed for the wrong reasons.