To think it is stupid/selfish to visit a 93 year old when you are loaded with the cold?

[Misshapencha0s]

...

Yes. My grandparents lived into their 90s and I didn't visit if I was unwell. I wouldn't visit a newborn baby if I was unwell either. Or someone having cancer treatment etc.

Yeah. We thought we had a cold because runny noses and sneezing wasn’t considered a covid symptom but turns out we had covid.

Same. Thanks. I just wanted to check i wasn't being harsh.

Agree.

YANBU. It's very stupid and selfish.

However, with the caveat that if this was the only opportunity to visit and the 93 year old wanted to take the risk as the pleasure of the visit outweighed it, then I would take mitigating measures (handwashing, distance etc).

A 93 year old may well have a different perspective on postponed pleasures and risk assessment than a 40 year old.

When i said this was a bit stupid they said they 'didn't really realise they had the cold' ...

True @sleepyhead however they did not consult 93 year old prior to visit and now 93 year old has been up all night coughing. I said to my relative do you think he might need a test and was told 'no it won't be that'
again

So it sounds like you fucking idiotic relative has likely passed Covid to a 93-year-old woman? Jesus Christ.

YANBU - with caveats around things like the visitor being the sole carer and not visiting meaning the 93yo wouldn't eat

I say this as someone who has continued to see an even older relative throughout lockdown, albeit never while ill, because as as a family we think quality is more important than quantity at this age

Even pre covid if any member of my family has cold i check if 93 year old still wants to visit, depending on their general health they have sometimes attended family gathering and other times declined. I just think it is basic courtesy to declare these things to vulnerable people.

Visitor is not sole carer and could visit any other time.

@Incywincyspinsters

So it sounds like you fucking idiotic relative has likely passed Covid to a 93-year-old woman? Jesus Christ.

I agree that people shouldn't be knowingly spreading viruses, especially to elderly relatives BUT why is it most 'likely' to be Covid? I don't get this 'any illness is probably Covid' mentality. I've just been full of cold with a runny nose, sore throat, coughing, sneezing, fatigue... it was literally just a cold.

agree with quality over quantity at this age with the caveat of not taking silly unnecessary risks unbeknownst to the elderly person

@CirqueDeMorgue agreed

I agree that people shouldn't be knowingly spreading viruses, especially to elderly relatives BUT why is it most 'likely' to be Covid? I don't get this 'any illness is probably Covid' mentality. I've just been full of cold with a runny nose, sore throat, coughing, sneezing, fatigue... it was literally just a cold.

Of course. It could be literally anything else. But it’s spring, the common cold is not currently prolific, it’s harder to spread than Covid and as people have been distancing, arguable less likely to spread.

I should have perhaps said ‘might’ have passed Covid.

What I don’t understand is why the stupid twat wouldn’t get a test first if there’s a chance it would be Covid?

YANBU but people just don’t understand this.

I have a toddler who has a condition that makes him very sensitive to respiratory illnesses. When he was a baby (pre-Covid) a common cold would end up with him in hospital. It can take months for him to get over a cold.

We explained this to all of our friends and relatives and ask that no one visits if they are unwell. Still we had a relative visit when he was only a few months old and then start coughing everywhere, said ‘not to worry, it’s just a cold’.

@Incywincyspinsters I didn't think the common cold was prolific around this time of year either but I know loads of people who have or have had one! Very unlikely to have covid where I live as rates are really low so I'm putting it down to the (still) freezing weather.