To beg for some careers advice?

[FuckingFabulous]

From you, mostly lovely Mumsnet contributors.

My DH is having a sort of career crisis. I am somewhat burnt out by everything I deal with myself and I'm drawing a blank.

He's mid thirties, a forces veteran and his career there was in weapons, so not really a transferable civilian skill. He's got all his HGV licenses and currently works driving those and is miserable doing so and also in increasing pain due to a knee issue. He says that life is surely too short to be stuck doing something you hate and he feels he needs to find "the thing" he's meant to do. He just doesn't know what that is and is starting to think there's nothing at all that fits him.

He's got dyslexia and ADHD but is actually very clever and excellent at solving problems. He's good at helping children, shy people, great with animals. His social skills are.....developing, I'd say. He's very friendly, very engaging, but also has a tendency to become over familiar, which naturally, some people are not keen on. He struggles with academic studying but is good at hands on training.

Can you think of ANYTHING?

Not sure I can help although I had same with my 20yr old daughter. Hated her job in retail wanted to find a job she loved but didn't know what she wanted. It nearly broke me. I suggested everything but nothing caught her eye. My answer was that 99. 9% of jobs she didn't even know what they entailed. She didn't want to work weekend as she'd done that since she was 15 and didn't want to work from home. In the end we decided she just had to look for something reasonably paid with the hours she wanted and just work to live. After that she applied for everything that suited even if she didn't know what it was. She has just this week started in recruitment. Just hoping she likes it because it could be a great career for her.

carer? paramedic? zookeeper?

cnc.jobs/ ?

I used to work for a childcare provider, recruiting staff for children's residential homes. We would attend Army careers fairs a lot to try and recruit staff as it was a good match on so many levels. Could be worth him looking into that?
If you/he wants to chat any further about it, ping me a PM! I don't work in the industry any more but have a fair bit of knowledge and a few contacts at various companies.

My police force usually has jobs for firearms assesors/trainers or armoury jobs, worth a look or an ask

Some interesting ideas here: jobs.forces.net/country/united-kingdom-jobs/

It’s really difficult to give examples of jobs that might suit him without knowing him.

Could he perhaps look into doing some voluntary work in his spare time? It might give him a better idea of whether he’d enjoy a caring/customer facing role?

We have some ex forces people at work working as project managers. It seems like a good fit. You need to be organised, structured, good at leading and being part of a team as well as unblocking issues as and when they occur. Could be worth qualifying as a PM and look for junior positions to get practical experience.

Tell him to get in touch with the RFEA - it is a charity that helps veterans to find employment . Also Amazon is a big veteran employer - maybe starting as a supervisor might be a good option.

Also the civil service - there is a new veteran scheme which guarantees an interview

Have a look at a charity called Building Heroes, they offer construction training and opportunities to ex service people.

He's good at helping children, shy people, great with animals

Lots of city farms, care farms and similar organisations have programmes for adults with learning disabilities or mental health problems, children disaffected with school and suchlike work on the farms and gardens. Perhaps some sort of support role related to that would be of interest - especially if he has a slightly green thumb?

A bit random I know but what about a postman. Royal mail are crying out for staff.

Need a bit more detail really, how does the knee issue affect him? Would he be OK doing a reasonably physical job (such as postman, paramedic) where he'd need to be OK on his feet all day and lugging heavy things around or does it need to be something more desk-based? Can you/he afford a period of retraining - which may entail a period of no/low earnings as well as course fees or does he need to be earning a wage in his chosen career right away? Does he have a particular aspiration in terms of salary (as a lot of 'caring'/working with people type roles are minimum wage, at least to start with), does he want there to be progression/career prospects as well or would he be OK finding a job he enjoys and sticking with it long-term?

Some of the suggestions on here are fine as they go but would require studying for a degree+some post grad experience or study to do the job (e.g. paramedic) which depending on his existing qualifications might take 5 years or more to achieve, not saying it wouldn't be worth it if he gets a perfect job as a result but that's quite a commitment and probably not to be entered into purely on the basis on a MN recommendation . Some voluntary work is a good idea to get a more realistic idea of the requirements. Also, as well as the good links already shared, can I suggest he looks into apprenticeships, esp if you can't afford course fees/a period of full time student-hood, these are not just for school leavers any more, older people can do an apprenticeship too, the employer/government pays for your qualification and you get a wage while training too (albeit often not a huge one) - if you browse www.gov.uk/apply-apprenticeship it might be good for ideas if nothing else?

Prison service?

@aprilshowers2015

I used to work for a childcare provider, recruiting staff for children's residential homes. We would attend Army careers fairs a lot to try and recruit staff as it was a good match on so many levels. Could be worth him looking into that? If you/he wants to chat any further about it, ping me a PM! I don't work in the industry any more but have a fair bit of knowledge and a few contacts at various companies.

This.

He maybe suitable for leaving care or residential homes.

Noticed a lot of ex force men would end up in these jobs.

Their training in the army was useful for young children and teens who needed focus and someone that’s a solid person in their lives.

I would really say leaving care would be a good match.

Try jobs at your nearest university. Lots of research/academic support jobs need the sort of skills he will have developed as ex-forces. Project management, or technician type jobs.

His over familiarity might be an issue for Residential/leaving care work.

I think perhaps a job working with teens and young adults might be good for him. He could get some work experience mentoring at a secondary school and then maybe look at roles for charities or social care?
Definitely try some voluntary work in the areas he might be keen in to see if it's a good fit.

More Youth work info:

nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/job-profiles/youth-worker

With regards to the over familiarity thing, working with other people who model how not to be over familiar might help. Obviously over familiarity with teens and vulnerable people isn't appropriate.

This might be a bit left field but has he thought about sales or recruitment? I've known a couple of people with ADHD who have thrived in these high energy roles and attributed some of their success to how ADHD affects their brains (I'm no expert on the condition, this is just based on what my friends have told me).

For both of you, I always find mapping things out helpful. You could start by making a list of each of your strengths and weaknesses then a list of what's most important to you in a job (flexibility, progression, responsibility, making a difference,
money?). Then making a list about what you'd like your days to be like (working alone or in a team/ desk work or using your hands/ public facing or behind the scenes etc).

Once you've narrowed down what you're looking for, it should be easier to find the right jobs and make a plan of action.

Good luck to you both .

OP, it may be no help at all, but I recently chatted to a lovely cabbie who had a similar background to your DH (forces and dyslexia). He was certain that he wanted to get into the prison service! Another angle may be to look at some agencies of Defra local to you and see if they have animal/green space type jobs? If you Google “Defra agencies” there’s a list. Totally not my field of knowledge but perhaps something structured with a public purpose might appeal. You sound lovely and good for you for helping him.

Following up on my post, I think the prison service is most probably part of the civil service so, if the guaranteed interview scheme mentioned above (for veterans applying to civil service) would cover that, that’d be a start.

I work in finance and there are a lot of ex military and ex police working within financial crime and compliance. We have a whole employee network for them globally.

Does he want to restrain. Similar circumstances but when push came to shove dh couldnt cope with retraining.