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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

am I being unreasonable to expect strange old women not to comment on your parenting?

64 replies

mummyloveslucy · 11/11/2007 19:04

I was heading towards the town yesterday with my 2.5 year old daughter in her pushchair, she happens to be very tall for her age and is often mistaken as being older than she is. An old lady then came up to me and grabed the pushchair telling me that "this child is far too old to be pushed around in a pushchair". I explained politely that she is only 2.5 and that we live a long way from town and she can't walk there and back. She then went on to say "Well, you could catch a bus" to which I replied it's cheaper to walk and better for the environment. She then walked off muttering somthing under her breath.
Was I right to be so polite or should I have told her to mind her own buisness? I think most mums would have done the latter. I think she was probubly lonely and wanted to feel that her oppinions still count. She was in her 80's. Now I feel that every one is thinking the same as her, it does knock your confidence.

OP posts:
dogthelazygithunter · 11/11/2007 19:06

i agree with her 2.5 is far to old for a pushchair

ArmadilloDaMan · 11/11/2007 19:07

YABU - it's the state of the world that other people believe themselves to have a god-given right to comment on your parenting, how you spend your money and your life in general.

It's a bitch.

Just remind yourself what they think doesn't matter, it's a PITA but nothing more

BeautifulBoysGalore · 11/11/2007 19:07

you explained.

she probably feels bad about it now.

dont let other peoples issues get to you.

ArmadilloDaMan · 11/11/2007 19:08

oh and ignore dog who seems to be solely looking to stir up trouble.

See good practice at ignoring the stupid comments

dogthelazygithunter · 11/11/2007 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mollymawk · 11/11/2007 19:09

I don't think you are being unreasonable. It is rude to make unasked-for critiques of other people's parenting. Cheek!

BeautifulBoysGalore · 11/11/2007 19:09

and no, you shouldnt have been rude back.

2 wrongs dont make a right [god, ive always wanted to say that to someone]

stripeymama · 11/11/2007 19:10

Oh sod off Dog.

My dd still goes in the pushchair every now and then and she is 4.5. We don't have a car and so if we are going a long way then I don't mind at all, its no different to driving her about in a car really. With the added bonus of keeping me fit!

And YANBU but they do it all the time.

dogthelazygithunter · 11/11/2007 19:11

gosh stripey my view of you keeps on going down and down

looneytune · 11/11/2007 19:12

Is dog a troll?

dogthelazygithunter · 11/11/2007 19:13

not a troll a dog

look at the name!!!

needmorecoffee · 11/11/2007 19:13

2.5 is fine in a pushchair.
Yesterday was Saturday Dog. Not everyone works on a saturday.

stripeymama · 11/11/2007 19:13

Yeah well. I have that effect on people. Just as well you can't see me.

dogthelazygithunter · 11/11/2007 19:15

i know coffee i ws having a larf.

my little friend stripey will have picked up on that

magaddict · 11/11/2007 19:16

YANBU, it's totally up to you what you do with your kids. When I see kids older than about 2 in a buggy I always think they are too old to be in one, but you never know if there are other reasons, and I would never, ever presume to give the mother my opinion on the matter.

cheekymonk · 11/11/2007 19:17

No mummyloveslucy YANBU. I encountered a similar old bag who told me to "look after him" when I was trying to put a coat on ds and he was resisting and moaning.
I WAS looking after him, I am the 1st to admit if I am in the wrong especially parenting wise. I just put it down to a different generation and them having a lonely bitter life!

Lulumama · 11/11/2007 19:17

i use a pushchair for my 2.3 year old

or i would never , ever be able to do anything for fear of her bolting, and i don;t like reins

so shoot me

needmorecoffee · 11/11/2007 19:17

too true magadict. I had people sneering at dd being in a buggy. When she went in her wheelchair they all shut up. Sometimes the reason is hidden.

Anna8888 · 11/11/2007 19:19

Don't let it bother you.

I still make sure I have the pushchair with me when I take my daughter (3) to and from school - in the morning we take the bus and then have to walk across the park and she's often quite not really properly awake and doesn't want to walk, and when I collect her from school we have a nearly 2km walk home and she's tired and likes to have a piece of bread and sit down while I push her home.

I walk at least 10km every week day between school drop-offs and pick-ups, shopping, trips to the playground etc. If I had to carry my 16kg daughter for any of that I just wouldn't manage to achieve what I have to in the day. And I need to walk faster than she can to get it all done. That is none of anyone's business.

Lulumama · 11/11/2007 19:20

dog is a troll IMO, she has posted quite a lot of anti single mums on benefits posts today

cheekymonk · 11/11/2007 19:20

I am also interested to hear that people think over 2 is too old for a pushchair. Our ds will run off at slightest whim. I know there are reins etc but I find the push chair best for his safety a lot of the time. So if in shops etc, people let children run around etc?? ( Clothes or otherwise not supermarket)

cheekymonk · 11/11/2007 19:21

Phew, thanks lulamama!

Lulumama · 11/11/2007 19:21

agree cheeky, also, if i need a few bits of shopping, i can stick them in the pushchair basket , so it is quite handy !

ahundredtimes · 11/11/2007 19:23

Hmmm. I don't know - not about the pushchair thing, which seems perfectly sensible, but about people making comments and interfering.

There's a part of me that quite likes it. When we were in Italy the ds's were having a scrap, and this old woman told them off and waved her finger at them, and it was great actually. And I grinned at her and she nodded and smiled at me.

I know it's different because they were being arses, and your dd was just sitting in her pushchair.

But there's a part of me that quite likes old women coming up and telling me off, and telling the dcs off. I don't know why, it feels appropriate and communal.

Like hug a hoody, only its tell off a toddler I suppose.

Boredveryverybored · 11/11/2007 19:24

Exactly nmc, I had the same thing with DD, people sneering, comments just loud enough to hear about her being too big for a buggy, how I was spoiling her etc etc.
I once had an older woman do a similar thing to what op experienced to me on a bus.Openly ranted to me about how young people these days have no idea how to bring up children, 'that poor child should not be in a pushchair, she's far too old,she'll never walk for herself, she'll grow up lazy' etc etc When I very loudly asked her if she had a miracle cure handy for dd's disability so that I could stop having to push her around, she got very embarassed and got off the bus
It's never a good idea to push judgements on people whose circs you have no idea about!