Dc given quite a lot of ££ by GP, will be richer than us at 18..

[Whereiswarmth]

We are extremely low contact with pils, I certainly would be very happy to never see them again... Dh can't speak to them and has not seen them for a few years now.

Long story! However they do put ££ into dc isa.
It's quite a bit now.. Near 30 grand... Probably a little more, they are 11 and 7.
Obviously this is a first world problem and a nice problem to have but it's worrying at 18 they will have access to this.. They seem very sensible at the moment but I'm aware it could even put them at risk from unsavory people when out socialising..

What will they do with it?

Although I dislike pils obviously I'm grateful for this.. But I'm wondering if they will contribute every year?
Dh and I are not high earners at all.. But something also makes me feel slightly uneasy.. Neither dc have been enraptured with pils.. I'm certainly not going to encourage contact at all after past issues etc. Pils are very well off..

Just wondering if anyone else's dc has more money than them and what they would do with it?

My parents gave us money for each dc instead of leaving them a inheritance in the future as well as my savings for each they will have around 85k I think at 18.
I would hope ( DS is 14, smart and so far a very determined person ) that I have influenced and raised him well enough to put it to good use and productively.
If they don’t, then he will be the one who suffers and wouldn’t be getting supplier from me any further ( financially )

@Schoolmummmy

Yes it is, however fil is purely driven by figures, and I'm sure this will be doing something tax wise elsewhere, if its even his money.. It's quite shady.. Could be from dh grandma.. Just don't know.

They are controlling, eg Mil used to try and choose dh clothes and get very nasty when he wouldn't wear what she had chosen (as a grown married 40+ year old)... In the past she has offered to buy us various things but the catch is that she chooses eg new bed, sofa.. Child's pram.

We declined all....

But as pp said... It would be hard for them.. To dictate to 18 year olds!

I have often thought they and their family would be much happier if they had less ££.

My eldest is 18 and has considerable money but although he knows about it I haven’t given him access to it and I definitely don’t want him spending it on university fees, that’s a silly use of the money. I told him it’s for after uni and we’ll support him until that point. I don’t think you actually need to hand it over to them you can suggest they don’t spend it

@jessstan2

It's in stocks and shares isa.. And it's been going strong for years..

Funnily enough my DH and I were talking about this sort of thing the other day. We know lots of friends who had £10-50k given to them at around 18, many blew it on cars, partying, paying for holidays with all of their friends etc and have had nothing to show for it 5 years later.
I inherited about £60k in my mid-twenties and my DH inherited £20k in his late 20's. Personally I think it was a much better time to get that sort of cash. We were staring out as a family, put a deposit down on a family house, furnished it, did some work and made some money on it, took some of the pressure off over maternity leaves etc.
I also think it's really important for people to learn the value of money and budgeting before they are given any vast amounts. Money given to you is almost always spent much more frivolously than money earned.

I'm sure people will disagree, but I think that's a much better time to get money, and people are much less likely to blow the money at that age. For some it can actually lead to a lack of motivation knowing that they will have (what seems to be) this vast wealth just waiting for them while they do nothing. I also wouldn't want my child to attract "friends" based on their generosity or lifestyle while at uni.

So if possible I would hide the fact that this money is coming, let them get a part time job and budget their way through uni and talk/have DH talk to PIL about postponing the money until they're 25+ and you're more confident the money will be used/invested wisely.

Lots of financial advisors don’t recommend paying the uni fees (£9k per year) upfront unless they expect to be very high earners. They’d be better off saving it for a house deposit so they never have to rent.

LISAs are good for your youngsters as the money gets a 25% government bonus worth up to £1,000 a year and you can only use it for a house deposit or pension. So long-term saving that can't be squandered. You can only contribute £4000 a year, so you could siphon off some of the grandparents' gift into one of these for each of them?

DCs will have exactly the same issue. I have already been preparing them for getting it by letting them know they will never have a lump sum like this ever again and that they must be sensible.

A good thing to do would be to trickle 4k a year into a LISA starting at age 18 (www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/lifetime-isas/) as the dcs will get a guaranteed 25% bonus on this sepcifically for housebuying - and if they decide to try and take it out and fritter it away, they will have to overcome the psychological burden of missing out on that 25% bonus first.

@Whereiswarmth - they sound strikingly similar to my PIL. We too were offered the fanfare of buying us a pram when our youngest was born. In spite of all our resistance..she absolutely insisted. Yet it quickly became obvious upon entering the store, that it was HER choice, not mine. I wanted a 3 wheel jogger, she thought they were ugly and not good for babies. It had to be her way or not at all. After an hour of increasing tongue biting discomfort..we left without a pram and bought our own the week after. Nothing is ever offered without expectation. Except money of course...as that would require another level of control. At least your PIL seem to have given this money without any of those expectations, so it’s great for your children to have this. Hope it goes far!

I put money in to my own lifetime ISA for my child instead. That way I can assess how likely they are to use the money for good other than blow the lot. 18 is still very young and I certainly didn’t appreciate the amount of money I inherited at that age and despite my DM’s advice I didn’t invest or save any.

I received my first inheritance from an ISA at 18 and it was gone in a few short months. Don’t get me wrong I went on the holiday of a lifetime and have great memories. I was very fortunate to receive further inheritance at 21 which I did save and went on to buy a house with. I would be kicking myself now if I had spent all that money on holidays and was stuck renting and paying someone else’s mortgage.

I think they key is to prepare them now, it’s not a life changing amount but it is enough to go towards a house or pay tuition. Remind them it’s their choice how they spend it and a treat is fine but it should be used wisely and you and your DH aren’t in a position to help them out financially with any of the above.

And also recommend not using it for uni fees. Use it for a house deposit and get the student loan.

I would probably advise taking student loans for fees but that doesn’t mean they won’t need money to live on. I don’t know what the calculators suggest but I think it can easily cost £10k per year to live in an expensive city.

@Smashmallow

I agree.
If it was me I would have staggered it, so some at 18, for car lessons, some for helping out with uni.. Spending money or whatever.. Then some later on perhaps 30 for house deposit...

Fil was never open or transparent about his intentions.. And he's very hard to have a normal conversation with, it's more a one way thing. It was mooted that perhaps the dc may spend at 18, this was years ago.. When they had a couple of thousand and he slammed that down with something about loosing interest and stuff...

Dh has small family but they are very controlled re money and everything they do is with view to not spend.. Every conversation has something about saving money in it.. In some way..

No wider understanding about wild teenagers.. Etc.. Or even other social issues... His only concern was a loss of interest or tax or something!!

My in-laws had a thing in their will that if they outlived my DH, their son, then my dc would get his share of their estate when they were 18 which I thought was bloody stupid. You're talking a few hundred thousand pounds being given to an 18 year old. Why not put into a trust for uni or just say they can have it at age 25 or 30.

They didn't want me getting my hands on it and always thought I was bothered about their stupid money that's why they did it that way. I know what I'd have done at 18 with all of that and although I'd love me to think my children were more responsible than I was I still think it's stupid.

school mummy, mine brought the pram with someone else entirely! Didn't ask me anything... Then moaned she was forced to take it back. She's utterly blinkered and unreasonable..

We also just got our own, my friends at the time had been given ££ towards a pram.. I thought that's what they would do.

Over all she totally and utterly ruined the birth of our first dc with an overwhelming barage of different things..

If you are thinking about Uni loans and repayment, you'd be better off waiting until they earn above the threshold to pay it back and then paying it back to avoid high interest, but it gets written off after 30 years anyway.

I inherited some money aged 18, and didn't go mad spending it. Plenty of teenagers are sensible

That amount will mean they won't be entitled to any benefits should they be unemployed for a while.

My teen DCs both inherited six-figure sums from my father when he died. I managed it in trust for them before they turned 18 and thankfully they have both been very sensible and left it invested. I made sure it wasn't invested/saved in anything which was easily accessed at 18 (think property, investment funds, gilts etc).
They are now 22 and 18 and we are having discussions with the 22 year old about releasing some of it for a house deposit when he graduates and starts working.

@Tibtom

That amount will mean they won't be entitled to any benefits should they be unemployed for a while.

These posts always make me

No, they won't, because benefits are a safety net for people who really don't have any money . . . not an 'entitlement'

Perhaps what you meant was "that will be a useful sum to tide them over, should they ever be unemployed" ?

@Biker47

What will they do with it?

Anything they want, it's their money.

This is what she's afraid of. Be helpful!

I get it. PiLs also put aside a substantial amount for our DC and we are not wealthy ourselves. We were worried they might jump on it and spend it all on stupid things, so we talked to them about it from a young age, explaining that X amount was dedicated to uni or further training expenses, Y amount was for learning to drive, travel, and a few expensive items and then Z - the bulk of it was a house deposit. We bluntly told them: it skipped a generation. If it had been passed to us wed have saved it for you but it went directly to you which means we don't have any more to give you. This is it for house deposits etc. There's nothing else coming your way.

We said this sort of thing from when they were about 12 or 13. By the time they were 18 they didn't question what the money was for. It had been ingrained in them that it was for education and house deposit with a small amount for driving lessons and fun. They wouldn't dream of wasting it. But I do wonder if we'd suddenly told them about it if they might have gone wild with it and wasted it on trying to impress the wrong people.

My in-laws had a thing in their will that if they outlived my DH, their son, then my dc would get his share of their estate when they were 18

It is fairly standard for it to go to the children like this - our will says this. It is their money though held in trust until 21 (thinking of changing this to 25). It is up to the trustees to ensure it is spent well before then.

My dcs are in that situation.
When my parents organised that, I asked them to nsure that said money would only be available when they turn 25yo rather than 18yo to avoid the problems you are mentioning.

They are now 18yo and 16yo. They know the money is there but also lnow it's not available to them just yet. We are talking about what they could do with it, how important it is to have something to go on the housing ladder etc... Basically give them as much financial litteracy as possible.
After that, you can't control anything at all.

It depends on the individual child (or adult!). I was sensible with money and knew I had some given to me by GPs. I used it for my (modest!) wedding. My younger sibling has a magic power of disappearing money and lies or 'doesn't know' about where it goes - we suspect 'friends' take advantage (sibling has mild learning difficulty issues) and/or it goes on apps and phone lines etc, possibly weed. I can barely stand to think about how much has disappeared with zero to show for it - this was throughout their twenties when they were working as well. And now wants a car and house deposit...

Do you think PILs will use it to (emotionally) blackmail their GCs re contact etc?

Cowbells that's also great advice. Thanks everyone, some good things to think about.. I agree early preparation is better than suddenly realising they have this at 18..