To want to crawl under a rock and never work again?

[Notmyusual80]

I'm a contractor, have been for years. Have bouts of thinking I'm good at my job and many moments of thinking I'm completely shite.

Currently working with a large food brand. I was asked to join a prearranged meeting the other day with a member of the client team, and several external companies I didn't know. When I joined the call, it quickly transpired that the sole aim of the meeting was for me to share my "big ideas" for the launch of a new product!! I knew the product was being launched but I had very few details and had NO idea that this was going to be asked of me on the call. I thought it was an update meeting. Cue the most excruciating hour and a half of my life with people I'd never met staring at me on a screen, expecting genius ideas.

Yes, I know, I should've been upfront and said I wasn't made aware that I'd be asked to do that - but I didn't, I just completely panicked and babbled with plenty of awkward silences in between.

I always seem to encounter some kind of experience at work that makes me feel physically sick with panic/incompetence and makes me wish i could instantly leave so I never have to see the people I work with again.

Not sure what I'm expecting from this post. Just offloading and trying to get over the dread of going back to work next week.

Ooh. That's unpleasant. No advice other than hang in there!

Thank you. I'm still cringing so much it makes my whole body tense up 😖

Just come up with some ideas now and say you’ve realised they trumped your old ideas.

Are you me?
Yanbu.
I do this all the bleeding time.
The cringe is real.
YANBU
But you are also not alone.
I will join you under the rock.
Commiserations, though, it’s probably not as bad as you think it is

I agree with pp.

Come up with some actual ideas that are good and circulate them. Say the meeting gave you 'lightbulbs' and thank everyone for participating.

Keep the ideas very bullet-pointy but excellent.

Learn.

Smile

But surely this is not your fault and there has been a lack of communication?
What do you wish you had said?

Meeting prep is a must..

I always find out beforehand what's meeting about and have a bullet plan, even if on a piece of paper in front of me.

Having said that, clearly not your fault, you should have been made aware. I'd have a conversation about it with your superior, so at least going forward it will be communicated clearly

@Creamcustards oh, that makes me feel so much better - you are welcome under my rock any time!

No, it wasn't my fault but it really doesn't help to deter the "I'm shit at my job" feelings. And yes you're all right - now I just need to come up with some actual decent ideas!

You're right @Teensandfuture and god, i wish I'd sent an "is there anything specific I need to prepare" type-email beforehand. It's just based on the fact I was invited after the meeting had been arranged and the title of the meeting sounded like an update, I really thought my role would be mainly to listen.

notmy

Honestly, not your fault and I was in your situation before and I went mad on a call with my line manager straight after that meeting.
You don't have a crystal ball and it's not your fault you been caught out.

All you can do now, is be better prepared going forward.

Yes, I wondered if I should've contacted the client afterwards and said something to her but I was so embarrassed, I just left it. Probably not the best approach.

Think I would call, explain just that - you weren't briefed properly. Say you're working on the ideas and arrange a follow up meeting to share them, but obviously get ideas, create presentation slides etc and they will forget about 1st hickup..

I have this feeling at work all the time, am in a permanent role and continually feel judged and that everyone is thinking why am I in that role. It’s a horrible feeling and wore when you get blindsided in a meeting you think is going to be about 1 thing and you turn up for it to go in a completely different direction.
No advice just wanted to say that I feel your pain.

Honestly, noone in the meeting would have separated babble from expert tech jargon.

If you were dropped in it in such an epic way for that meeting, my guess is that your work environment is very chaotic, possibly even toxic. And this is contributing to the way you feel about your work. I bet you’re actually great at your job, but the messiness of others is making you doubt yourself. Hang in there, and I recommend reading the Ask A Manager website for tips. People can write in with similar experiences as you might be having and it helps with separating that noise from your true abilities.

We are finding these kinds of meetings a real struggle over zoom - awkward calls are difficult to turn around and I’m sure that didn’t help.

Thanks all. Kind words mean a lot