To visit my Nan in a care home?

[GreenLentilCurry]

She is 100 and I have not seen her since her 99th birthday in December 2019.

She is in a care home and I live about 3 hours away. I’m early 40s so not vaccinated at all. She has had her first vaccination. My mum is her first allocated visitor and has also had her first vaccination.

From Monday she is allowed a second weekly visitor so I booked to go and see her - all standard COVID protocols in place - LFT before entry, masks, 1/2 hour only, no hugging (☹️) etc

Now my mum and sister are humming and hawing and asking if I really think I should be going before I am vaccinated in case I transmit it to her.

I have waited so long to go and see her and being brutal she could well be dead by the time I am vaccinated.

So AIBU to go and see her?

You would be wearing PPE; gloves, apron and mask, so I really don’t see the problem. The vaccine is not the be all and end all anyway.
All through this, the carers have been going in not vaccinated but wearing PPE. Obviously more will be vaccinated now, but not all.
Just go.

Plus of course the lateral flow test.

Does your sister want to see her?

I been visiting my mum since we been allowed (full ppe, test etc)
I am only mid 30s still waiting for vaccine. I been going a few weeks now and everything seems ok
Mum had both her vaccines now but she only young but obviously very vulnerable

Go and see her. My granny died last December. She was in a care home and I last saw her in February. I would do anything to see her again

Has anybody asked what your granny thinks? If she's happy to see you, you don't need anyone else's permission.

I work in care the staff uptake of the vaccine is quite low (70%ish) although improving. So I'm sure you nan will be seeing other unvaccinated people. Please go and visit our residents are desperately missing family, its cruel keeping them locked up like this and affects their health massively (I understand totally the reasons for it but it's still so sad for them).

@ineedaholidaynow

Does your sister want to see her?

She lives even further away and has three kids under 4, so she won’t be going

@katy1213

Has anybody asked what your granny thinks? If she's happy to see you, you don't need anyone else's permission.

She has mild dementia, I don’t think she has capacity to make that decision fully informed sadly

Take a test before you go.

It’s evident that she has really declined over the last year (from v short WhatsApp video calls) and I think lack of contact is to blame.

@Changingwiththetimes

Take a test before you go.

They will do an LFT before they let me in and I might do one each day for a few days beforehand, but their unreliability worries me

Do you WFH? Any chance of isolating before visiting her?

Go and see her. She's 100, with declining mental faculties. Whatever anyone does, she will die within the foreseeable future, and you wouldn't want to miss your chance to see her.

She will be seeing care home staff daily who have neither been vaccinated nor have any restrictions on their day to day lives.

Family visits have a hugely positive impact on care home residents too.

I've got a relative of a similar age, albeit not in a care home, and I've been to see her regardless of the roolz. As a family we've made a decision that, at her age, quality is more important than quantity.

i visit my disabled dc in a care home, we have to take a LFT and wear gloves and an apron. can only hold hands.
I have only had 1 vaccine. but also visited before that. so I would say go.

@ineedaholidaynow

Do you WFH? Any chance of isolating before visiting her?

Usually yes, but I have one day in that I can’t get out of four days before I have booked. And I have secondary DC so some exposure ther as well.