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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm going to make your life hell - says new neighbour

79 replies

Anotherdayanother2 · 10/04/2021 15:24

I live on a ground floor flat and completed an extension about 12 months ago. All party wall, building control, planning permission all granted and building completed to permissions. I built on the party wall as agreed with previous owner as they said that they wanted to mirror my extension and it would make sense to build on the boundary line and they would use that same wall once they start their extension.

However, neighbour's budget didn't allow the works (I know as they appt the same architect I used and he declined the work given the modest budget) and so the neighbour sold last summer and moved two weeks ago.

I encountered new neighbour two days ago standing on the boundary line looking at this new wall. I didnt know who they were and as I was on a work conference call was gesturing to my DC to go outside to see what they wanted. DC couldn't walk out what I was telling them to do, so I abruptly ended my call and went outside to speak to neighbour.

The person then aggressively accused me of shooing them away, which I explained I was gesturing to DC to go outside. And then the second sentence was that I had built on their land.

I proceeded to explain as above and they seemed to have been appeased and even invited me in for a tea.

The next day NDN had builders in who began hacking at the plaster on the party wall and putting in a damp proof course at 7.30. This wall is in my bedroom.

I called NDN at 10 to ask why she hadn't notified of works given party wall needed NDS picked up the phone with 'what do you want, and you've built on my land, I'm going to make your life hell', before I could even say anything.

NDN's upstairs flat is rented and the tenants have caused noise nuisance with domestic violence at 4 am waking my upstairs neigbour, myself and the previous NDN. Those tenants have been arrested, have had parties throughout covid. It would appear that previous owner (who reported to police, owner and council) did not disclose these details to new owner but perhaps mentioned they had issues with me - easier to complain about innocous issues ie: my DC practising musical instruments, she gave me times that they could practise and I appeased to keep the peace).

By the end of the phone conversation I had managed to explain that perhaps we had gotten on the wrong foot but I was not the neighbour that they should be having issues with, but the ones upstairs. They were quite taken aback and asked whether that was the reason why previous neighbour had moved.

So am I unreasonable one or NDN?

How do I move forward from this, I imagine having them next door will not be easy given that they are wanting to do extensive refurbishments and will need to go through planning. I imagine I will be bullied throughout.

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 10/04/2021 15:31

They are clearly nuts by the way they introduced themselves. Don't get bullied by them. Avoid them as much as possible and just go through the appropriate authorities if they do anything wrong building/noise wise. I'd always have a phone or something recording when I did engage with them - if they have already threatened you get it all on tape if it happens again!

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2021 15:33

So you deflected and turned them against the upstairs neighbours?

AIMD · 10/04/2021 15:35

They are totally out of line. Surely they were aware of the detention being build when they bought the place? If not it’s not really your fault.

Theimpossiblegirl · 10/04/2021 15:37

Up until you decided to turn it against your other neighbours, I was with you. That's not exactly a nice thing to do, whatever issue you have with them.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/04/2021 15:39

I'm going to make your life hell

WTAF. This person is unhinged. Who even thinks like that, never mind says it?

I would be giving them a very wide berth, and I would also be recording/documenting everything. Put up CCTV with audio wherever you can.

Sadly, I think you've seen just the tip of the iceberg with this nutter.

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2021 15:40

@Theimpossiblegirl

Up until you decided to turn it against your other neighbours, I was with you. That's not exactly a nice thing to do, whatever issue you have with them.
That’s what I think. I was totally with the op till she said so I convinced them the other neighbours were the problem.
ColourfulElmerElephant · 10/04/2021 15:42

I would be limited all contact with them to the minimum and making a note of any issues in preparation for this escalating.

happywarrior1312 · 10/04/2021 15:47

They sound god awful, as do the upstairs neighbours! YANBU

jessstan2 · 10/04/2021 15:55

You are not unreasonable to be annoyed with new neighbours who, frankly, sound horrendous; however it was totally unnecessary to mention the people upstairs.

The damp course will surely benefit your bedroom so it is worth putting up with a bit of noise and upheaval for a while.

Returnoftheowl · 10/04/2021 15:56

I'm a bit confused... What have the upstairs neighbours got to do with what has happened between you and the new neighbours?

oakleaffy · 10/04/2021 16:08

Oh dear...
Try and smooth things over with your new neighbour if at all possible..

It sounds as if he is being unreasonable with the ''Make your life hell'' comment, but to put him onto innocent neighbours upstairs isn't at all fair either.

he sounds like a whack job.

It is tricky with party walls... one needs consideration, and give and take... Much easier if someone is halfway reasonable to begin with.

AcornAutumn · 10/04/2021 16:16

@Returnoftheowl

I'm a bit confused... What have the upstairs neighbours got to do with what has happened between you and the new neighbours?
Same here.
SpringTimeDream · 10/04/2021 16:17

Get a recording of every phone call and every face to face conversation you have with this unhinged woman.

Do not give in to her threats though because she will then attempt to control you over more and more. However, not a great thing to do to deflect to cause another neighbour a problem, perhaps just confirming that you didn't have a problem with previous neighbour and got on ok would have been enough..

ikeepseeingit · 10/04/2021 16:17

He sounds a bit mad with the 'make your life hell' comments. I wouldn't talk to him unless you have to. Make a log of absolutely every conversation and incident you have and try to keep your side breezy and polite. Don't give in to any ridiculous demands and try not to get sucked into arguments. It's a difficult situation to manage that's for sure.

TrefoilTrefoil · 10/04/2021 16:21

New neighbour sounds irrational, so I don’t think you need get concerned that they are behaving this way because of anything your previous ndn did.

You don’t know what your old ndn did or didn’t say, and it has nothing to do with you anyway so I’d stay out of that.

You only need think about current neighbours. Start thinking about what you’re going to do if they do escalate. Move? Complaint to council?

MoiraNotRuby · 10/04/2021 16:22

My NDN recently built an extension and I said they could build it on party line, fine by me. However they haven't done, because apparently it could be a problem if I ever sold and the new owners wanted all their land. Apparently its not a responsible thing to do?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 10/04/2021 16:23

If you are in the UK, he shouldn't be doing anything to your party wall with out a party wall agreement which you both have to agree. Speak to the Council planning department. If you already have a party wall agreement as the surveyor if it allows them to do this. Its new work undertaking without any notice. Take dated photos of your bedroom wall in case it causes any damage. I'd also steer clear of them as much as possible and people have said install cameras and record any conversations. Sorry you are having to go through this. But also, maybe warn the upstairs neighbours about this person now that youve dobbed them in.

AnotherSoddingWalk · 10/04/2021 16:23

I don't blame you for deflecting on to the upstairs neighbours - it's not like you lied about them, they HAVE been a nightmare by the sounds of it.

HaveringWavering · 10/04/2021 16:24

Really don’t understand why you brought the upstairs neighbours into this.

Surely the extension was there when they bought the property? Wasn’t that all you needed to point out- that it was agreed legally with their vendor and all the documentation will have been part of the sale?

Then start discussion with them about the works that they now intend to do. Is there no fence between your gardens?

Teapot13 · 10/04/2021 16:26

I'm not in the UK but surely if the wall was on the adjoining property the survey would have shown it and you would have had to deal with it prior to sale?

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 10/04/2021 17:11

Do you have a Plan B against the risk that you can't resolve matters with these neighbours?

I have family friends who had wretched neighbours. The impact damaged the mental health of the family. Other people in the area were so bad that their neighbours literally cost them in excess of £100K in losses through the need to rent elsewhere and the cost of taking a loss on their property when they finally realised they'd have to sell up to escape them.

Hopefully, it wouldn't come to this but it wouldn't hurt you to have a plan in mind.

Original poster
Anotherdayanother2 · 10/04/2021 17:12

MoiraNotRuby surely if the council planning approve, party wall and building control all passed then it should be fine? The party wall is effectively their external wall once they start building otherwise we would effectively have a 10 cm gap leading to all sorts of damp issues?

OP posts:
Original poster
Anotherdayanother2 · 10/04/2021 17:15

Teapot13 I would think so too. I,'ve spoken to my architect, builders and party wall surveyor who have all said the same thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anotherdayanother2 · 10/04/2021 17:16

For those asking why I deflect, surely you understand that I was feeling threatened and secondly as the new free holder of the whole property they would have more sway in trying to evict the people upstairs. Surely you wouldn't want police turning up to your property every two days, chasing him over your fence?

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 10/04/2021 17:17

@Anotherdayanother2

Teapot13 I would think so too. I,'ve spoken to my architect, builders and party wall surveyor who have all said the same thing.
I don't think the neighbour has legal grounds They bought the place with full knowledge.

But they're a troublemaker.