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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bonfires when people can't go inside

26 replies

BertiesMangos · 10/04/2021 15:22

I'm getting a bit wound up as the last couple of times I've been to someone else's garden, or invited friends or family to mine, a neighbour has decided to burn garden waste and there's been so much smoke! It's always been the middle of the day, and due to COVID rules meaning we can't go inside each others' homes, I've felt no choice but to breathe it in! It's happened three times in the past week.

I think it's been wood and leaves being burnt each time, rather than plastic etc, but wood smoke is toxic enough and burning leaves creates a lot of smoke!

I should add that I'm 7 months pregnant so particularly keen not to be inhaling anything bad for me/ baby - and have heard people say that wood smoke is as damaging as cigarette smoke in terms of passing to the baby.

Is anyone else finding this/ anyone else think people should be more mindful of the fact that at the moment others don't have the (legal) option of heading inside away from the smoke? Also, I'm obviously not expecting friends' neighbours to do anything differently due to me being pregnant, though I admit I'm a bit peeved that the thought hasn't occurred to my own neighbours that I might want to avoid inhaling smoke.

So - AIBU to be expecting people to be more thoughtful or should I just be locking myself inside if I'm bothered by these things?!

OP posts:

Tinydinosaur · 10/04/2021 15:27

They're allowed bonfires. Just like people are allowed to smoke. You can't expect everyone to see you're pregnant and change their lives for you.

UhtredRagnarson · 10/04/2021 15:27

Are they allowed to burn things in their garden where you live? The council may have banned it. Contact them and report it.

peak2021 · 10/04/2021 15:27

Has the person who has started the fire in each case just been thoughtless, or do you think it is deliberate? Anyone with a reasonable relationship with neighbours could let them know they are having a few people in the garden for a visit.

sbhydrogen · 10/04/2021 15:29

They should burn dried wood, not fresh (green?) wood.

Cheekyweegobshite · 10/04/2021 15:29

Bonfires are almost always really antisocial and selfish. They should be banned IMO.

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/04/2021 15:29

@Tinydinosaur

They're allowed bonfires. Just like people are allowed to smoke. You can't expect everyone to see you're pregnant and change their lives for you.

They may be, but some councils do have rules about what can be burnt and when. It's antisocial to burn crap in a suburban garden even if it is within council rules, though.

cate16 · 10/04/2021 15:31

Bonfire or fire pit?

Seems people are using fire-pits when they have people around during the daytime as it's so cold.

sbhydrogen · 10/04/2021 15:31

Totally misread the thread. I thought your friends were burning fresh wood!

No, they should be taking it to the tip or have the council collect it. Burning it is not sensible.

wonderstuff · 10/04/2021 15:32

I'm not sure, I do understand your pov, but I'm having regular fires because it's so darn cold and I want to spend time with people without freezing. I'm burning seasoned wood but it is smoky.

I don't know it it would be more environmentally friendly to buy a patio heater?

Hardbackwriter · 10/04/2021 15:34

I think bonfires in built up areas is always a bit antisocial and selfish, but that's it's really very precious to expect people to factor their neighbour's pregnancy into their own plans...

AnneFuckingKirrin · 10/04/2021 15:36

Ooooh, I have had a massive saga with a horrible neighbour of mine regarding his bonfires.
They are banned in our area, we had to report him to our local environmental health department who threatened to take him to court if he didn’t stop - which worked.
We did try having a conversation with him but he threatened to beat us all up, kill our cat and burn our house down so we had to go down the official route.

AnneFuckingKirrin · 10/04/2021 15:38

@Hardbackwriter

I think bonfires in built up areas is always a bit antisocial and selfish, but that's it's really very precious to expect people to factor their neighbour's pregnancy into their own plans...

I agree, the smoke is so anti social. It makes the house stink, you have to shut doors and windows. I certainly think their should be restrictions on when you should have fires, especially if you are not using the special smoke free wood.

AnneFuckingKirrin · 10/04/2021 15:40

Sorry pressed send too soon.
I know the op is pregnant and worried but that kind of smoke is so bloody invasive no matter what

Hardbackwriter · 10/04/2021 15:43

I think they should probably be banned in built up areas (which I know can be a bit hard to define) entirely - there's no time to do it that isn't potentially antisocial so I don't think restrictions on when to hold them would solve the problem.

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2021 15:44

Unless they are banned in your area then they are permitted to burn garden waste.

Lou98 · 10/04/2021 15:44

Personally I do think YAB a bit U. They're allowed to enjoy their gardens just as you're allowed to meet up with friends.
I'm also pregnant so get the worry around anything that's potentially harmful to baby etc but at this time of year, rightly or wrongly, there are constant fire pits, bbq's, bonfires etc and I doubt that will change anytime soon, especially with so many people still stuck at home.

Having said that, if you're own neighbours are doing it too and on a daily basis rather than just occasionally, try talking to them and seeing if they can do it set days/times etc so that you have a heads up when they're going to. You will probably have more luck that way than telling them not to have them anymore. I doubt you'll get far with friends neighbours though

AnneFuckingKirrin · 10/04/2021 15:47

Oh, I wouldn’t mind after a certain time so much, but I appreciate your point that any time could be considered anti social.
We live in a street of terraced houses with really narrow gardens.
We literally had ash over our patio furniture and trampoline from my neighbours fire - he was burning fence panels and all sorts.
We had a different neighbour have a smallish bonfire last weekend which didn’t bother us at all because it was so small and sensible.

CausingChaos2 · 10/04/2021 15:50

You really think your neighbours should be mindful of your pregnancy?

Unless it’s the same neighbour on a daily basis, in which case they are a nuisance, people have the right to use their property as they need to.

MissMarplesGoddaughter · 10/04/2021 15:55

OP - I hate bonfires too.

One neighbour used to burn old mattresses and the stink and amount of smoke was just awful. They were not the sort of people you could speak too.

I would check your local council website and see if there are any guidelines about bonfires. As part of their green programme, our council is discouraging bonfires and offering more recycling facilities.

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/04/2021 15:55

Mindful of the fact that they have neighbours would be nice...

Original poster

BertiesMangos · 10/04/2021 15:57

I added that I'm pregnant because it's what's made me extra conscious about it / more concerned about the fumes as I think more research keeps coming out about links between wood smoke and low birth weight etc, but I think it's the COVID rules meaning people can't go inside that's the main reason I'm frustrated - I'm not genuinely expecting people to do things differently for people, particularly not people I've never met before!

Today the neighbours were burning a tree and leaves that they had just cut down; they didn't have anyone round and weren't both outside so they weren't burning it to keep warm.

I do understand that as a result of the same COVID rules people want to keep warm, though a hat and extra coat probably do a better job to be honest, and a gas heater would be more efficient and better for the planet!

OP posts:

user143677433 · 10/04/2021 15:58

YANBU and bonfires should be banned altogether.

I get bad asthma which is set off by smoke. It’s been hell during the full-on lockdowns when neighbours have had bonfires. During normal times I would have gone out if it was the weekend, or decamped to my parents to work if during the week. Neither of those were options so I just couldn’t escape.

Original poster

BertiesMangos · 10/04/2021 15:59

*do things differently because I'm pregnant

OP posts:

Slingsanderrors · 10/04/2021 16:04

Don’t ban bonfires please, I love a bonfire.
Our NDN has a small piece of land between us, where he has bonfires, we can chuck stuff over (mostly garden waste) to burn, so win win! He always checks the wind direction and if he’s planning a bonfire and I’ve got washing out, his wife rings me. It’s probably saved us £k’s in skips over the past 8 years.
We are fairly rural.

Topseyt · 10/04/2021 16:09

Wouldn't bother me, and if it did I'd just go inside. Covid or not.

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