“Show him this thread”

[Soubriquet]

I’ve posted a thread like this before but I guess I need to do it again.

Never ever show your other half the thread you have posted about them.

At best, they will be pissed off that you are talking about them and will give you the cold shoulder or an argument

At worst, they could lash out and actually harm you.

It will never be a good thing to show them the thread

I think very lowly of people who made these suggestions on threads. Either they are trolling on purpose or they have no idea about real life.

I think some people just don’t think. But if you found out your dh had talked about you on a forum and everyone came on saying how horrible you are and that he should leave you, how hurt would you be?

Very

I’ve never understood the suggestion to show anyone else a thread you’ve made about them.

I’m not sure many people actually do that in real life though, and I doubt that those that would would be put off by a thread like this.

Yup. And angry. Mainly because my side of the atory would obviously be different 🤷🏻
There are always two sides.

I agree it’s one of the stupidest things on here.

Even a really grown up, empathetic and compassionate bloke would feel shit to learn he was the subject of a thread on a bulletin board pertaining to intimate details about his relationship and life.

For an argumentative, paranoid abusive bastard you could literally be signing your own death warrant.

I think the kind of person who needs to see a thread is the kind of person so entrenched in their belief / behaviour that it wouldn’t make the blind bit of difference 🤷🏻‍♀️
So in that respect, it’s a pointless suggestion.

I agree, no idea why it gets suggested.

I agree, so weird to suggest it!

I've also seen people suggest OP shows a doctor a thread!! Like a doctor is genuinely going to sit there reading Mumsnet during an appointment to get some advice on how to do his job better like it's a perfectly normal suggestion.

Completely agree especially when some of the partners seem abusive

It's one of my bugbears to be honest. The people who post that clearly have no idea about human relationships. Do they really think the abusive DP is going to take on board 200+ posts of criticism and turn over a new leaf? It's Pollyanna day dreaming bollocks. Plus the posts will give him an insight into how he can hide his behaviour better in the future.

Any safety concerns aside, I don’t know why anyone would think that, if someone is happy to be a complete twatarse to their wife/daughter/sister/friend in real life, that the opinion of random anonymous people will make them see the light.

I've shown my partner a thread about him. Reading the replies,he was extremely embarrassed and apologised profusely about the stupid thing he couldn't see he was doing.

He now goes to mumsnet first.. for any advice he might need and sends me the most ridiculous AIBU's just for the craic.
So in this case at least,it wasn't a stupid idea.

Completely agree with you OP. As if the problem is that the DH simply didn't realise he was being unreasonable (despite having been told by wife numerous times I'm sure) and all he needs are a few anonymous posts to convince him of his error.

To be honest, I agree, but under a previous username, I made a thread about DH, and the advice was pretty much a unanimous leave the bastard.

Now I knew my husband wasn't going to hurt me, and it felt like the only way to bring about change, he really wasn't going to change unless he knew how other people would view the things he had been doing.

I wouldn't advise anyone else to do it, because we don't know how their partner will react, and its dangerous advice to be giving out.

I posted a thread this morning about my DH and I showed him it. it was about him saying I'd woke up in a bad mood

Now I knew my husband wasn't going to hurt me, and it felt like the only way to bring about change, he really wasn't going to change unless he knew how other people would view the things he had been doing.

Did that work?

Totally agree. Advice like this puts women in danger, potentially.

Totally agree OP if they dealing with people in their life who are unstable, the last thing they should be encouraged to do is "show them this thread".
They could put themselves is danger, awful advice and hate seeing it being dished out on here, to those in vulnerable situations.

LandGirlJudy yeh I’ve noticed that to about showing a dr, so awkward 😬

It's such a stupid idea. Even the most reasonable person wouldn't be happy about it and is most likely to get on the defensive.

The thing about showing a thread also is unless you’ve NC then they can search all your other threads as well