Help!!! A nightmare sister

[EmilyAlice19]

I really don't know where to begin with this one so please bare with me!
I'm 24 and my sister is 26 despite being close in age and having similar hobbies we have never really been super close. I find her a little bit of a Jekyll and Hyde character - we have days where I think we are close and these days are fantastic and we get on well and then others (like today!) where I'm completely at my wits end and just feel like parting ways with her completely.
She has always been a feisty character - she definitely doesn't take any BS and this is something that I admire about her however her bad temper is and has caused huge problems especially over the past few years. I thought then when I bought my own house and moved out of my mums two years ago things would get better but in fact they have got worse.
Over the years family members have said that they believed she is jealous of me - I did not agree as I couldn't see what there was to be jealous of however after this past year I think they might be right. It feels like she never has a good word to say about me and that I can't do anything right. She regularly tells me 'I'm a waste of space, I'm an idiot, I'm thick, I only got my job because I 'sh*ed' my way to the top (completely not true!), I'm selfish, I'm pathetic. Although I know all of these things aren't true and the people closest to me know they aren't true I still cannot help but let it affect me. She has also physically attacked me, most recently pinning me to floor. She lives with my mum and it concerns me that my mum is around this negativity daily. However I am reluctant to visit my mum when my sister is there as it just seems to escalate into a bigger problem.
She is a complete control freak and tries to tell me how to live my life...right down to the point where she tells me when to do my cleaning in my own home!! We have sat down and tried to batter out our differences with different family members in the past but nothing seems to have worked. She will cry and seem remorseful but then fall back into her own ways. I do feel sorry for her because I feel like she does have issues however, she is a grown up and I believe she needs to want to help herself.
Has anyone got any advice or had a similar situation with a family member?

Your sister is abusive regardless of the reason.

I’m guessing her behaviour is never challenged by your mother which I actually find unacceptable.

It’s time for you to stand up for yourself and cut her out.

I have two girls with the same age gap but they are a bit younger. The youngest one DD2 does have very difficult mental health issues and looks like she will live with me for the foreseeable future, she so wanted to leave for uni but she's not well enough, has medication and psychiatrist etc. Its been like this for 3 years. Sometimes she is angry and demanding, jealous etc and other times withdrawn and in her room, she has episodes where she's very distressed. When DD1 comes home to visit she and I might want to spend some quiet time together but we can't as DD2 always needs something. Its exhausting and we have fallen into being a family of carers for her. When she was little she was very full on whereas DD1 is quiet and thoughtful so it seems like a repeating pattern.

I suppose the difference is my younger DD is diagnosed and admits she is very ill, she is very self aware. Is there any hint that she may have MH issues OP because if not, that's appalling - what does your mum think of the situation?

I’d go low contact. Neither of you are getting anything positive from the relationship.

I don’t know how the poster who has diagnosed personality disorder has done so just from your op. Bloody good doctor if so!

i had a sister like that, she was never happy as a child, she is 2 years younger than me, she was always angry about my stepdad giving me too much attention, she never realised it was the wrong kind of attention, she would hit me when we were younger but as i grew up i tried to avoid her, she tried it when i was in my 20s, i told her just one hit and i will charge you with assault, the last straw was when she battered our mum, we have not spoken for 18 years, the only time i will have to see her is when my mum dies, she is in her 80s and i have told her i will tell my sister when the funeral is over. i think your sister needs to speak to a doctor, mood changes and that level of trying to control everything is not normal, i found out my sister was suffering from a form of depression and needed counciling and medication, stay away from her and invite your mum to your house.

If you meet with her, meet her in a public space rather than at your home. Pinned to the floor? Definitely not normal.