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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask the gp to sign me off work?

21 replies

sgyh · 10/04/2021 09:54

I'm having sleep issues which I've been referred to the hospital for but obviously I am literally exhausted everyday. I can just about function day to day and feel over the past 12 months I have become more tired and its affected my health negatively.

I have a job and young kids so would be a bit tired anyway but not to this extent.

AIBU to ask the gp to sign me off work for a few weeks as I am just too exhausted?

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 10/04/2021 10:00

I don’t know whether you’re BU or not as you’ve not said what your sleep issues are. If you don’t sleep much because your children keep you awake then YABU as you’re not actually unwell. If you are tired because you have an illness then maybe not so U.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 10/04/2021 10:02

You can ask but they're not obligated. A lot of people have outdated ideas about getting 'signed off' and being at home on full pay. I'd look at your work contract, too.

WhoWants2Know · 10/04/2021 10:03

It seems reasonable to be signed off work if you aren't sleeping, as you're unlikely to be functioning properly and more likely to make an error at work.

sgyh · 10/04/2021 10:04

No it's not the kids. They all sleep like logs. It's me. The gp suspects I have sleep apnea but not sure as I don't really present with all the typical symptoms so have been referred to the hospital for a full sleep test but don't know when I will be seen due to long waiting times due to covid. I wake up feeling exhausted hung over every morning.

OP posts:
sgyh · 10/04/2021 10:07

osbertthesyrianhamster. I won't be on full pay. I'm not planning on chilling out at home on full pay. I'm well aware I won't be paid much but am looking at my health.

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 10/04/2021 10:07

I think loads of people feel like that in the morning. I know I do nowadays as meno symptoms keep me tossing and turning all night. I think really you just have to power through it as being signed off work doesn't seem very reasonable.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 10/04/2021 10:09

@sgyh

osbertthesyrianhamster. I won't be on full pay. I'm not planning on chilling out at home on full pay. I'm well aware I won't be paid much but am looking at my health.
Do you have a plan as to how long you need to be off work then? Or for how you will top up your income?
WhoWants2Know · 10/04/2021 10:12

It probably depends on how the sleeplessness is affecting you throughout the day, especially with driving. If you start dozing off during daytime activities, then it's getting dangerous.

sgyh · 10/04/2021 10:13

osbertthesyrianhamster not sure how I would top up my income when I'm off work. Don't know how long is need - maybe a few weeks just to get my energy levels back up. I realise I will probably be back to square one not soon after again. I feel sleep issues aren't really taken quite seriously when the negative health consequences are very serious.

OP posts:
sgyh · 10/04/2021 10:14

I feel like it isn't an illness or stress or something the gp might just laugh if I say I'm just really tired! Grin

OP posts:
Eminybob · 10/04/2021 10:17

Have you been prescribed sleeping pills?

I suffer from anxiety related insomnia and when I was originally diagnosed the dr signed me off while I was on sleeping pills while waiting for the anti-ds to kick in.

Dozer · 10/04/2021 10:21

Is your employer likely to be supportive? Do you have 2 years in your job and employee status?

Employers can, and do, fire people for legitimate sick leave above what their policy states. If this would be your first big chunk of sick leave it might be OK, unless it’s an unsupportive employer, but it’d be on the record etc.

Fuckitsstillraining · 10/04/2021 10:26

What age are you? I've been reading up on peri menopause and it can cause quite serious sleep issues. I'm 50 but started peri in my late 30's and know now that I should have been started on HRT back then. I'm waiting to see a specialist as my GP is old fashioned and not knowledgeable about modern options. Peri menopause can start quite early so check it out.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 10/04/2021 10:33

@sgyh

osbertthesyrianhamster not sure how I would top up my income when I'm off work. Don't know how long is need - maybe a few weeks just to get my energy levels back up. I realise I will probably be back to square one not soon after again. I feel sleep issues aren't really taken quite seriously when the negative health consequences are very serious.
Yikes. Then it's a bad idea to take off just now.
Dozer · 10/04/2021 10:43

Is the referral to investigate potential physical health problems, eg sleep apnea, or to a sleep clinic?

If the latter, in the meantime there is some info online on the types of things NHS sleep clinics recommend, might be worth trying. A friend attended a sleep clinic and did a programme, which apart from the sleeping pills for a few weeks which the clinic advised her on, it was largely ‘self driven’ following the recommendations.

sgyh · 10/04/2021 10:53

Eminybob no sleeping pills as I don't have insomnia. I actually sleep throughout the night but suspect I am having apnea episodes where my oxygen levels are dropping.

Fuckitsstillraining I'm nearly 40 and hadn't thought of peri menopause. How does it affect sleeping?

Dozer yes the referral is to a sleep clinic. They want to investigate what is going on with me during sleep.

OP posts:
MarieVanGoethem · 10/04/2021 10:59

As SoonToBe60 said, bit hard to say without more information - have you injured yourself because of it; are you allowed to drive (GP would have given informal recommendation even if you’re a non-driver when they did the referral); do you feel safe having sole supervision of children (especially at bath time, for example)? Are you making, or at risk of making [serious] errors at work; & what would the potential consequences be? (Both the eg killing someone/losing millions/having to re-enter a load of data/awkward call to client side and the warning/full disciplinary/fired side.)

Exhaustion does cause functional impairment & there’s a reason sleep deprivation is used as torture. There is a risk, though, that the time off wouldn’t help as much as you hope, depending on the exact issue. It’s also the case that given what’s happened over the past year everyone is feeling worn down & exhausted - & while you absolutely might be feeling 10 times worse as you’ve an underlying health issue, it may be worth considering how taking the time off would be received in your workplace.

The other thing (& I really really do not want to sound all Voice Of Doom here, but think it’d be wrong not to mention it) is that you might want to hold off on this option until you absolutely hit The Wall. I mean, hopefully you won’t get to being unable to think in complete sentences or focus well enough to complete fairly simple tasks without prompting or get so exhausted by basically heating food you’re too tired to then eat it - but obviously then, or slipping into that, you’d absolutely need time off. If you’re still in a space where things are copeable with, maybe looking up resources on conserving your personal energy (eg shower at night sitting down so you don’t start the day doing something that eats energy) & pacing to try to help you manage the exhaustion. If you’ve not yet been sent an appointment date, it’s perfectly reasonable to contact the hospital with a polite enquiry as to when you might be seen. They might not be able to tell you, but they’ll usually try to give some idea of what the wait is looking like for you.

StarStarStarStarStarStarStar

Ok, after writing my v long post I checked back to see if you’d replied. If it’s sleep apnoea they suspect, a couple of weeks off probably won’t cut it - as you say, you’ll very quickly land right back where you started. (There’s something called central sleep apnoea, where your brain basically forgets to breathe, rather than it being weight-related as obstructive sleep apnoea usually is - & it doesn’t present in exactly the same way. It’s good your GP has been proactive rather than dismissive though.) It doesn’t sound as if your work would be super-supportive, either - & a bit as if you’d potentially be putting yourself in a precarious position employment-wise, even if thinking more long-term (sorry if I’ve completely misread/misunderstood that). Trying out any of the various lifestyle changes suggested by reputable sources that are applicable & accessible to you might be worth it? Even if they only help a wee bit, a slight improvement is still an improvement. Making sure - as far as possible - you’ve not any other causes of fatigue adding to the problem is the other thing. Not suggesting sticking your children in a cupboard or something, I mean taking a Vitamin D supplement because the whole of the UK is a bit short on that; B12 if you’re vegan/vegetarian; & tbh a decent multivitamin won’t hurt you but will make sure if you’re short on anything & it contributes even slightly to your feeling grim, you’ll fix that bit.

MazekeenSmith · 10/04/2021 11:21

Have you had your iron and vitamin levels checked?

Soontobe60 · 10/04/2021 11:23

What are your actual sleep patterns? What time. Do you go to bed / get up? Do you feel exhausted at certain times or all the time? I assume the GP has done blood tests to rule out low iron or vitamin deficiency? Are you overweight? Do you smoke?
If you do have sleep apnea as someone has already suggested there are changes you can make now whilst waiting for what could be a long time to see a consultant. I know someone who does have a formal diagnosis and now has a machine she wears at night that forces air into her. She feels massively much better as a result.
In my 40s I felt tired lots of the time, but I realised it was because I just didn’t get enough sleep. I was getting maybe 6 hours a night, which sounds ok, but really I need 8 to function well. So I started going to bed a couple of hours earlier as I couldn’t get up any later in the morning. At first I felt like I was turning into an old lady going to bed at 9pm, but pretty soon my energy levels improved. I also had afternoon naps at the weekend.

PerspicaciousGreen · 10/04/2021 11:28

I don't think the GP would laugh at you, and I don't think it's unreasonable to have that discussion with them. They don't just sign you off work forever just because you ask - they'll be asking questions about how it's affecting your day to day functioning, and potentially your safety and that of others around you. I suspect it may well depend partly on the nature of your work.

I would make an appointment and go in with an open mind and an understanding that they won't sign you off just because you ask, but this could be an opportunity to talk seriously about how much it's affecting your life.

greyinganddecaying · 10/04/2021 11:46

I second considering the peri-menopause. Poor sleep was one of my first symptoms - I went from DC not sleeping through the night, to suddenly struggling myself.

I have sympathy, poor sleep is a form of torture.

Have a look at a list of other symptoms & see if you recognise any others.

I tried a lot of things (including HRT) but the thing that helped the most was 5:2 diet bizarrely. But we're all different, so there may be other things to try.

Good luck

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