We were in a relationship for 3 years. Most intense connection I’ve ever had with someone, I fell hook line and sinker and even though I can see the relationship for what it was now, I still have never loved anyone so much. Was great for first year. Then he hit some issues with his mental health and despite being unwell, he was very unfair on me but I stood by him.
After that, things were getting worse. He started taking me granted, didn’t appreciate me or the relationship, would wait hours to respond to my messages even though he was active on social media, would make other people a priority, allowed his best friend to bad mouth me, wouldn’t commit to a timescale or talk about taking the relationship to the next level (the list goes on) - meanwhile telling me how much he loved me and how important I was to him. I was deeply unhappy but I still loved him. When I told him how I was feeling, instead of working on things he ended our relationship the very next morning. At the time I was blindsided, he said he ‘had to go and focus on himself’. So he collected his things (didn’t want to see me and told me to leave everything in the garage) and off he went.
That was almost three months ago. I was devastated, my confidence and self esteem were so low after that relationship. I went NC from that moment and started focussing on me, and it’s been tough. But I would get random messages on WhatsApp that he would send me, and delete them before I could read them - which I ignored. He sent me a happy birthday message on the stroke of midnight with love hearts (wtf). Then I get a message (they’re usually on a Saturday night when he’s drinking with his mates) to ask ‘how I am’ and that he’s missing me and can we talk please’. As much as I wanted to talk, and hear him out, 3 months had gone by, and I couldn’t. Every time I heard from him, even if I ignored his texts, it would send me plummeting down again. So I messaged to say that it was his call to end our relationship and in my opinion I wasn’t sure there was anything to talk about after that, and that I would prefer we didn’t as I didn’t have anything I wanted to say. He hasn’t contacted me since. Was I unreasonable? Did I shut him down too harshly? My friends say that if he really did want to talk and he was serious, he would have thrown out more than few crumbs, and would have made a serious effort. They feel he is keeping me dangling on a string. He just never responded to me and that was days ago now.