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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Needing an extra hours sleep

22 replies

Notgettingup · 10/04/2021 07:52

So I was up from 11pm-3:00 with my two youngest, their dad got up for less than 5 minuites to bring milk up.
I've woke up at 5:30am and asked it he can take them so I can have an hour. Hes come up to get them and said "you had a bath at 2:30am, bet that was relaxing"
???!?
I didnt have a bath hahaha, I was looking after a teething baby and my 2 yo was up. Hes literally stood there and argued that im lying and that he heard the bath running and I chose to stay awake and the kids never woke up.

Hes then said I'm lying and that I've not been up all night and I've had loads of sleep.
So I've just got up, like what's the actual point. I dont get him to help put the kids back to sleep and I dont often ask to get an extra hour to sleep and now I just feel like shit, being literally told I'm a liar whaaaaaat hahaha.

Just don't know if it's awful of me to want to go back to bed after having about 3 hours 😅

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 10/04/2021 08:00

I wouldn’t be ‘hahaha’ if I were you.
You are setting yourself up for years of this.

Tell him you are going back to bed for 3 hours, he is looking after his children and unless the house is on fire, you will not be disturbed.

ForTheLoveOfWine · 10/04/2021 08:01

He sounds delightful Hmm

CloudFormations · 10/04/2021 08:05

Why are you with someone like this? Can you bear to live with a person who is so disrespectful and who accuses you of lying to your face like that? How could this make you happy?

OwlinaTree · 10/04/2021 08:05

Well you'll have to wake him up in the night if he doesn't believe you were awake.

The two of you need to share any available lie ins, it's the only way to survive the early waking stage.

JackieTheFart · 10/04/2021 08:09

You’re ‘hahaha’ing about this? I can only assume you’re delirious through lack of sleep.

Tonight when the kids wake, wake him too. Wake him every time.

What a prick. I know competitive tiredness is not good but seriously what an arsehole.

Garlia · 10/04/2021 08:10

So he's said you've not been up, but also that you had a relaxing bath?

He sounds awful.

Mellonsprite · 10/04/2021 08:13

Nope I wouldn’t be laughing either, he sounds awful. To be up 11-3am is a long time, of course you need an extra hour, you need an extra few hours IMO.

Flappityflippers1 · 10/04/2021 08:17

That’s not funny OP, I’d get angry not amused 😳

My DH got annoyed that I was grumpy the last few days as was up constantly with our newborn - apparently he was tired too because the 3yo disturbed once and I was “fast asleep”

So last night I informed him he was doing all the feeds, and I was only going to wake up to pump my boobs when they got to explosion point. Did this. The poor lamb is still in bed - exhausted from being up with the newborn all night! He does at least understand now what a PITA our nocturnal newborn is.

I’d nip this in the bud. Hand him HIS children, and tell him you are going to bed and do not disturb you.

Original poster
Notgettingup · 10/04/2021 08:22

The being told something happened when it didnt is what's stressing me out

OP posts:
Temp023 · 10/04/2021 08:33

Another contender for the:

“MN Prince of the Year Award”

No shortage of candidates this year!

shouldistop · 10/04/2021 08:35

Why would anyone have a bath at 2 in the morning? Is your husband prone to making things up?

KoalaOok · 10/04/2021 08:38

Your husband is awful. Let him look after the kids in the middle of the night next time if its so easy.

Silverfly · 10/04/2021 08:42

Wtf? He thinks you had a nice relaxing bath at 2.30am? Sorry but he sounds like an absolute twat OP. Make sure he gets up with the baby and doesn't use this random comment to get out of it!

Silverfly · 10/04/2021 08:44

Just read the rest of your post and I see you did get up. I can't believe you let him get away with that random shit.

Tinydinosaur · 10/04/2021 08:47

Sounds like you're letting him sleep through things too much. Bring the kids into your bed so you can both be awake all night. Maybe then he'll agree to splitting the night wakings.

nanbread · 10/04/2021 08:48

This is just really weird.

Is he gaslighting you, is he trying to be funny or has he lost his mind?

Does he do this a lot?

Either way he can fuck off and you go back to bed.

WildfirePonie · 10/04/2021 08:58

I'd be kicking him out, not laughing.

EL8888 · 10/04/2021 09:01

Tell him to fuck off and you go back to bed

@Temp023 l agree there are a lot of contenders this year and it’s only April

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 10/04/2021 12:41

Why don't you take turns for the night wakings?

FireflyRainbow · 10/04/2021 14:16

He sounds awful.

Mysa74 · 14/04/2021 09:25

@Notgettingup

The being told something happened when it didnt is what's stressing me out
There's an easy way to fix this one op. Evidence. Download the blueberry app and log everything. Start the timer when you put baby down to sleep, click it when baby wakes, set it off again when baby goes back to sleep. Then when he says baby has slept through and you're imagining things you can ram the phone down his throat and go back to sleep... [Grin]
Saz12 · 14/04/2021 09:39

Tonight, wake him up to see to the children. If necessary put bedding and pillow downstairs for you and sleep in the living room. Sleep there instead (out of earshot).

Tell him. Don’t ask. He won’t like it. Point out he thinks they sleep through / says you sleepwalk / whatever.

I assume he dreamt these things (the bath etc), but not to believe you afterwards...! And to tell you that you’re not tired so don’t get an extra sleep....?

If I was tired DH would try and let me sleep, even if I was tired due to insomnia/late night TV /whatever self-inflicted thing. I do the same for him. Because we try and be nice to each other.

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