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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Second hand goods selling and giving

18 replies

TinyTroubleMaker · 09/04/2021 20:22

Have been having a clearout and really

Examples -

Giving away quite a lot of very decent children's clothes, lady didn't even say thank you. When it has been the other way round in the past I couldn't have been more grateful.

Selling some decent furniture, small but in good condition, for a fraction of the original price and quite popular judging by the level of interest in a short space of time. People say they will collect then don't, despite us agreeing a time - and don't let me know they aren't coming or apologise, or reply when I say do you still want the item. Others snap at me when I won't deliver to them... or, seem deliberately rude for no apparent reason.

I have never tried to sell anything this way before, is this normal? A few people seem polite and they're the ones I'll sell or pass the stuff to just on principle now. Or I'll just give it to charity next time.

OP posts:

Sinner10 · 09/04/2021 20:29

Yep, completely normal. I have got used to it now and you can often tell the serious buyers now. I’ve annoyed a few people because I’ve sold or given to someone else because they haven’t responded to me. I only give me address out when I know they’re definitely picking up.

SausageDogSandwich · 09/04/2021 20:37

I rarely give stuff away because people don't appreciate it.

I sell lots of stuff on eBay using buy it now. I generally price high and slowly reduce the price. I rarely have problems because people genuinely want the item and are prepared to pay a decent price and thereby place a higher value on the item.

There has been research into this to back it up.

BackforGood · 09/04/2021 20:42

I've rarely experienced it myself, but you do see it complained about a lot on here, so I guess it must be more common than I've ever experienced.
I've given stuff away for years, and never had anyone who wasn't incredibly grateful.

AnneElliott · 09/04/2021 20:51

Yes this is sadly normal. Lots of cheeky fuckers who take stuff for free and don't even bother to say thank you!

I have away an off cut of carpet the other day. One bloke wanted it and arranged to come at 4pm. At 5pm I messaged and asked if he was still coming. No response. At 6pm I offer it to someone else who collects. Admin for the site asks if first bloke was a no show and mutes him for 3 days (those are the rules of the site) and he goes nuclear!

Sprig1 · 09/04/2021 20:57

I tend to sell at car boot/take to a charity shop now. So many ungrateful people if you give things away and so many unreliable people if you need the item collecting.

notdaddycool · 09/04/2021 22:57

I used to think etiquette was you gave it to the first person to ask, now I won’t give it to people saying they will come a long way for something pretty low value.

bakingdemon · 09/04/2021 22:59

Facebook Marketplace particularly bad for this kind of behaviour in my experience. Local Whatsapp groups by far the best

Returnoftheowl · 09/04/2021 23:28

I just donate straight to the charity shop now and save myself the hassle.
The few times I have tried it's always people not turning up, cancelling last minute, can you deliver instead type stuff.

DipSwimSwoosh · 09/04/2021 23:34

It's old stuff you don't want any more. You are expecting money and gratitiude just because you once loved it. Now you want rid of it, so once it is gone, try not to be sentimental.

JackieWeaverFever · 09/04/2021 23:43

I now sell everything because of this.
Except I couldn't get 1 bid on a billy bookcase before xmas so Freecycled/ gave it away.i sifted through to find the first polite message and the woman who picked it up was a delight and gave us biscuits to say thanks!

tiredmum2468 · 10/04/2021 00:17

@SausageDogSandwich

I sell all mine on eBay too - even if I don't get a lot it all adds up. Nothing worse than ungrateful people

micc · 10/04/2021 00:27

I haven't had the experience at all.. I am on a page in my local area where people give stuff away. I've always had really thankful, happy people. I get annoyed at people that just comment on everything though. I barely ask for anything but it's always the same people saying 'yes plz' on everything. One lady asked for some old toys, she had commented on about 20 things on the page, she never eneded up wanting what I was giving away and changed her mind. She just was commenting on everything because it's free.

DyeHard · 10/04/2021 00:33

I do the same OP. Looking for polite responses seems to have cut down on the time-wasters.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 10/04/2021 06:45

This is why I avoid marketplace.

I sell second-hand stuff on eBay as it weeds out the time wasters. Yes, going to the post office is a pain but the money all adds up.

drpet49 · 10/04/2021 06:53

I use eBay to sell new items.
Secondhand I always give to charity shops. Too many time wasters and rude people on Marketplace

Garlia · 10/04/2021 06:59

God yes there are hordes of time wasters and cheeky fuckers.

Often, someone will want me to discount an item to pay their petrol costs. For example: "I want your bookcase that you have listed for £30 but it'll cost me £20 to get to you so you need to sell it to me for £10." Um, no I don't.

Or people expecting you to hand deliver a free item, like you're Amazon Prime.

Over years of selling I've learned how to suss out a time waster and only respond to polite messages now.

tiredmum2468 · 10/04/2021 16:49

Incidentally I have offered my friend some furniture for free which is cluttering up my garage she keeps saying she'll get her friends husband to come with his van
8-9 months later it's still here - I keep reminding her And we are desperately trying to clear out the garage now as it's
Becoming very cluttered,

Do I messaged my friend and
Got the same old same old story......

So I messaged her back and said, I'm sorry xxxx but I need it gone - if you can't come and collect by next Saturday then I'll book someone from the council to come to take it away

Response "don't be like that I've had a lot on I really want it"

Well bloody come and get it then!!!

HikeForward · 10/04/2021 17:19

People can be so cheeky and entitled.

On local group: man posted his neighbour in ground floor flat had suffered a flood, she and her teenage son desperately needed ‘the community to come together’ by providing free rubble bags, clearing her flat, and donating not only furniture and clothes but contributing to a GoFundMePage; this page was so well written (and neglected to mention the woman had no contents insurance plus it was a council property so all repairs were being sorted by council) it raised over £500! More than enough to pay for rubbish clearance etc.

Then she had the cheek to ask for specific items eg ‘a computer, desk and computer chair for my boy’, beds, sofas, table, clothes etc.

People offered stuff. She replied ‘can I see a photo? Can you deliver?’

(Like anyone is going to hire a van to deliver free furniture to her! Or photograph the free item when they’ve described it eg she wanted a photo of free TV despite full description of brand new TV and could they drop it off on X date as she was in temp housing until then?)

It was all dressed up as being neighbourly and I don’t doubt the flood was real, but asking for free help to clear rubble, then free delivery of free items on specific dates when people had already donated. I think admin removed it in the end as it sounded like a scam!

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