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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to move for covid safety

36 replies

Lulu1027 · 09/04/2021 20:16

I am nearly five months pregnant and live in a high-rise apartment (17th floor) in the US. As such, I cannot access the outdoors without using the elevator. In the past months, I've become increasingly concerned about being exposed to the virus in the elevator and have had a few run-ins with people who were not masked. Moreover, at least one of the elevators frequently breaks, causing crowding. The vaccine is being strongly advised for pregnant women in America, but, since pregnant women were excluded from the trials, I cannot, in good conscience, take it. My state has been particularly effective in the vaccine rollout, and I realize that I will soon be an outlier in choosing not to be vaccinated. I suspect that covid protocols will likely change in the next month and that masking will become less common. Distancing has already fallen by the wayside. I don't blame anyonewe are all desperate to feel normalbut I'm in a particular situation and need to adjust for it. For my mental and physical health, I need to take a daily walk and haven't been doing so to minimize my time in the elevator. After a year of isolation, the loss of this outlet has been painful. Therefore, I would like to move to a neighboring building, that would allow me access to the stairwell. I've presented my husband with several reasonable options and he has shot them all down. He refuses to believe that I could be exposed in the elevator or that I'm at any greater risk as a pregnant woman. He has also berated me for my choice not to take the vaccine. Am I crazy here? AIBU to feel that I need to adjust for the unprecedented conditions of the pandemic to ensure a safe pregnancy?

OP posts:
NaturalStudy · 10/04/2021 21:24

Is this any better than a N95 mask? If so, why it my dentist wearing an N95 mask and not one of these? Whilst I understand your concerns I too think you need some help for anxiety and to give you perspective on the real risk.

ArcheryAnnie · 10/04/2021 21:26

Do none of you mocking the OP for her "anxiety" not remember what it was like to be pregnant and entirely hopped up on hormones? This is the time in your life when every cell in your body is braced to protect your baby. Remember how you felt while pregnant - when we weren't in a bloody global pandemic - and cut her some slack.

AlwaysLatte · 10/04/2021 21:29

I would move, but then I hate smelly shared elevators at the best of times!

warmandtoasty2day · 10/04/2021 21:31

@ArcheryAnnie

Do none of you mocking the OP for her "anxiety" not remember what it was like to be pregnant and entirely hopped up on hormones? This is the time in your life when every cell in your body is braced to protect your baby. Remember how you felt while pregnant - when we weren't in a bloody global pandemic - and cut her some slack.
excuse the pun but i couldn't get my head around the helmet wearing and a helmet for baby ?
LittleLionMan23 · 10/04/2021 21:36

YABU to not take the vaccine if you can have it. I’m 33 weeks pregnant in the UK and would bloody love to have it, I’d have it tomorrow if I could. But it isn’t allowed here yet Sad

Allwokedup · 10/04/2021 21:51

@LittleLionMan23 it is allowed. It’s personal choice, it’s not banned for pregnant women. Guidelines are saying not enough evidence but no harm has been found so far. If a pregnant woman is high risk or in a job where they see lots of people (teacher, nurse) they are encouraged to have it as the known risks of Covid outweigh the risks of the vaccine.

Original poster
Lulu1027 · 10/04/2021 22:05

Thanks, ArcheryAnnie, your compassion is much appreciated. And thanks to LittleLionMan23 for your perspective- it's interesting to hear that some women in the UK wish they could get vaccinated. Admittedly, the pandemic has taken a toll on my mental health, and I have sought treatment for my anxiety. Few of us feel "normal" after the past year, but until I became pregnant, I was largely unconcerned. I'm sure pregnancy hormones play a major role in my anxiety. It's also a difficult time to be pregnant. I developed a bad cough in February and was treated like a plague victim by my GP. They wouldn't see me until I produced three negative covid tests. It was physically grueling in addition to first-trimester symptoms (I couldn't take the usual cold meds) and anxiety-inducing, wondering if I had covid and what the outcome might be. I'm well aware that my perception of danger is currently off, but it's hard to gauge the risk. Overall, my area's infection levels don't seem that bad, but then the CDC director is practically crying on television. That's why I've come to this forum for an objective opinion, which has helped me understand my DH's point of view. Thanks all, I'm signing off.

OP posts:
SnackSizeRaisin · 10/04/2021 22:26

I have a pregnant friend in the UK who's had the vaccine, and another pregnant friend due to have it next week. Neither are working with patients although one works in NHS laboratories. The other works from home for a private sector company. So it's definitely possible to have whilst pregnant in the UK. I would have it myself if I hadn't recently had covid.

alibongo5 · 10/04/2021 22:40

@Lulu1027

It's not feasible to use the stairwell in my current building because I'd have to walk seventeen flights to get outside. I could do that now but won't be able to in a few months. I tried to find a unit on a lower level of our building but was unsuccessful. There was a perfect apartment available on the first floor but it's next door to a hoarder, and frankly, the smell was unbearable. I've been double masking but am buying a helmet to cover my whole head. It's equipped with hepa filters, which the CDC states are capable of filtering covid particles. I'll wear a regular mask underneath and take off the helmet when I get outside. Seems silly but I don't feel like I have many options. My DH says no one will want to get in the elevator with us anyway when they see us dressed like Daft Punk.
You do know that people working in hospitals with covid patients only wear a surgical mask unless they're undertaking an Aerosol Generating Procedure don't you? A mask is fine. You don't need filters or helmets.
SmellsLikeAHamsterCage · 10/04/2021 23:31

@alibongo5

You missed the point. She's saying there is only one elevator for 300 people, and since getting vaccinated they don't wear masks.

Masks don't benefit the wearer, they benefit people nearby. Can't you see where she is coming from?

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