Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel frustrated that I can work with patients but...

13 replies

Rinoa86 · 09/04/2021 17:56

I can’t see my Nan. So, I work part time but I also work one day a week as a volunteer at my local hospital. Volunteers were stood down from wards some time ago now and so myself and others have worked on meet and greet where we essentially signpost visitors to the correct department and take patients belongings up to the ward. So when a couple of weeks ago my Nan was admitted to the hospital I knew i wouldn’t be able to see her and didn’t question it seeing as we weren’t even allowed on wards at the time. But things have since changed slightly. Volunteers still aren’t allowed on the wards in the sense of carrying out our usual role but we are allowed to take belongings to the patients bedside (no actual contact) and if a porter isn’t available we are permitted to transport an able bodied patient who is being discharged in a wheelchair down to reception to meet their relative.

So, I carried on as I was and took belongings up to relatives and transported a few patients off the wards. Then last week my mum asked if I wouldn’t mind taking a bag of nightdresses newspapers and drinks up to my Nan on her ward. I of course said yes as volunteers were supposedly allowed to do this now. So at the end of my shift i made my way up to the ward. I obviously had my volunteer’s top and badge on and when the HCA let me in I explained I was dropping off a bag for a patient who was my Nan. I was then told she would take it to her and I wasn’t allowed to do it. Don’t get me wrong I see why some people may have a concern, but I wasn’t about to run into my grandmother’s arms and hug her. But I’ve had clarification from my manager and apparently taking bags to a relatives bedside isn’t allowed. Yet I’m perfectly fine transporting other patients downstairs, so touching and carrying their bags, sharing a lift with them, and cleaning down the wheelchair they were sat in as well as other walking aids. AIBU to think this doesn’t make sense?

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 09/04/2021 17:57

It's not been fair from day one, but there's nothing fair about a pandemic. It's always been about minimising contact. Obviously we can't cut out all contact but we can cut out social contact.

Rinoa86 · 09/04/2021 17:58

Oh I forgot to add. It might be self explanatory but my Nan doesn’t have covid. Just in case people were wondering if she was in hospital with it.

OP posts:
Rinoa86 · 09/04/2021 18:00

I guess it’s just upsetting because I was so close to her yet so far. I wouldn’t mind at all if the rules were contact with any patient isn’t allowed but this isn’t the case. It’s like the HCA took pleasure in not letting me see her. I thought I did the right thing in disclosing the fact that she was my Nan but if I hadn’t done this the staff would have been none the wiser.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 09/04/2021 18:02

It's harder to ensure you don't touch your Nan that a stranger. If you walk in and she cries because you miss her will you hug her? Stand and talk to her? Or leave her to nurses to calm down? If you stand and talk to her, will it be as long as it would if it was a stranger or will you be tempted to linger? How does that make the other patients feel? Oh Astrid volunteer at the hospital and you can come and see me!! How often will you be taking magazines to your Nan of it were permitted? You might say once but how do they know that?

It's so hard op but it's about maintaining fairness and not having people volunteering just to take advantage x

Ilovenutellaaaaa · 09/04/2021 18:06

It does sound unfair if you can take other patients property to them but can't take them to your nan

Could it be because you are related?...maybe they were worried incase you hugged/kissed/touched each other or something...(with strangers who are patients there's no chance of that happening, but visiting a relative it could happen )

They probably would have let you through if you hadn't said she was your nan

Rinoa86 · 09/04/2021 18:08

I haven’t hugged my Nan since January 2020! I’m not that daft to do such a thing. I’m seen her twice late last summer indoors when we were allowed to and other then that it’s been window visits. She’s been in tears at times and desperate for me and my kids to go inside and hug her but I haven’t.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 09/04/2021 18:12

They don't know you won't and it won't be your job to look after her if she gets really upset x

Rinoa86 · 09/04/2021 18:16

I haven’t hugged my Nan since January 2020. I’ve seen her twice at the end of last summer indoors when we were allowed to and other then that it’s been window visits. A few times she’s cried and begged me and my dc to go inside and hug her and I felt awful because I didn’t. I’m not daft and wouldn’t hug her at the moment even if she were in her own home so I’m not about to hug her on a full ward in front of staff and other patients who have probably not had a hug off their family members in months.

OP posts:
FatAnneTheDealer · 09/04/2021 18:21

The rules are arbitrary, contradictory, and inhuman.

FatAnneTheDealer · 09/04/2021 18:22

*Inhumane.

Bargebill19 · 09/04/2021 18:26

I wonder if it’s so that it’s not seen as favouritism or unfair by other patients and relatives. It shouldn’t matter - but people may complain it’s unfair you’ve seen your Nan, albeit whilst carrying out your duties, yet other people cannot come in and see their relatives.

WorraLiberty · 09/04/2021 18:29

@Rinoa86

I haven’t hugged my Nan since January 2020. I’ve seen her twice at the end of last summer indoors when we were allowed to and other then that it’s been window visits. A few times she’s cried and begged me and my dc to go inside and hug her and I felt awful because I didn’t. I’m not daft and wouldn’t hug her at the moment even if she were in her own home so I’m not about to hug her on a full ward in front of staff and other patients who have probably not had a hug off their family members in months.
A few times she’s cried and begged me and my dc to go inside and hug her and I felt awful because I didn’t.

This will be the reason for the rule I expect.

They probably don't want to risk the odd touch of a hand or hug etc.

I'm sorry OP it must've been tough but I can understand why they don't want volunteers seeing their relatives in this way.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/04/2021 18:34

You know you wouldn't but they don't
Some people would. And even if you don't, she's left alone and crying and you feeling even worse for not being able to help. They're not being dicks.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread