I don't know why I'm worried as such, I think my reasons for everything are perfectly valid I'll go over them in a second. My ex is just such a compulsive liar, he's made up loads of rubbish that he has told mutual people we know and I just feel he's going to do the same in court. He messaged being smug saying that this is stupid, he'll get to say his side soon but I'm honestly not sure what he could even say, which makes me think he's going to just talk rubbish about me and I worry they won't see through his lies like the people who know him do.
He's asked for over nights, which I haven't agreed to which led to him threatening to keep hold of my eldest at next contact(3yrs old). So I took out a court order this week, without notice, and it's ordered that there's no overnights unless I've agreed and he can't refuse to return her. There is another hearing next week.
My main reasons are that he drinks excessively and is also a cocaine user. It was only about a month ago he couldn't pay his child maintenence because he had spent it all on his 'session' and that his problem was so bad he needed to go to rehab. (Which he didn't do).
There was also a history of DV which was settled in court early this year where he received a community order.
My eldest has stayed with him in the past 1-2 times, but this was when he was with his last girlfriend or when he was living with family, so I knew that there was someone there who was sensible. She stayed with him last weekend and I saw a video online where she was up at 10pm with his friend there just pratting around really, and it just gave me such a horrible gut feeling as there was beer bottles in the background. I know that might not sound a bit deal but I think that's just because I know him!
My other reasons which aren't as bad as my initial concerns, he now rents a room so eldest wouldn't have her own bed, he doesn't have toys for her and doesn't have clothes etc for her. At home she sleeps in her own room in her own bed. He doesn't keep in to any sort of routine she has, and has stayed up til 10/11.
Before I move onto overnights I want to see him seek some sort of help for the drug use to prove that it's something he's putting behind him. I don't trust him at all just as a person.
Just some additional info: We've been split for about a year, he doesn't really see the youngest (1years old) by his choice, he is known by everyone we know to be a heavy coke user, he's also hit his most recent gf and smashed her home up infront of her children so they are no longer together, that was only a couple months ago.
Sorry I've rambled so much, I'm trying to add in as much as I can