The hashtag “be kind”

[Jacopo]

#bekind makes me turn into the complete opposite and makes me want to stab someone. AIBU?

@MysteriousAffairAtStyles

Not unreasonable at all. ‘Be kind’ has become passive-aggressive code for ‘Be quiet’, and it’s only ever said to women.

The fact that this is appearing as a slogan all over products aimed at girls makes me very uncomfortable. Never too young to be conditioned into ‘shut up, don’t protest, don’t make other people feel uncomfortable. Just BE NICE and non-offensive at all times’, eh?

This. ^ In spades...

It's almost as bad as the sheep who trot out the line "My mum always taught me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"

Well yes, because your mum, your gran and all the other generations of females in your family were told this, to stop them voicing how they truly felt.

Wow, thanks for all the YANBU replies. Thought I was going to be cursed for being unfeeling...

My observation is it’s usually said by very unkind people when someone has had the audacity to stand up them, or potentially be unkind back.

I’ve never known a single kind person spout it.

Sorry for the typo. Yes it has undercurrents of shut up and be a good little girl.

Hate the fucking saying tbh.

@Jacopo

Wow, thanks for all the YANBU replies. Thought I was going to be cursed for being unfeeling...

Without meaning to sound #unkind, this subject is posted at least every 2 weeks OP

I’m going to get a t-shirt made which says in flouncy annoying writing ‘Be kind’
Then underneath ‘but don’t be a doormat.’

Needs to be followed by #fuckoff
Good point about "my mum taught me..."

Most of the people I've seen sharing the hashtag were complete bitches at school and were anything but kind, gives me the rage

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Nope

It does the same to me.

Especially because it's now used as a way to stop people having any kind of opinion that isn't the same as the authors/ speakers.

@Chocolatehabit

I’m going to get a t-shirt made which says in flouncy annoying writing ‘Be kind’ Then underneath ‘but don’t be a doormat.’

Problem there is be kind is the top priority. Don't be a doormat is an after thought How about #beassertive #betruetoyourself #hatestupidhashtags

Wasn't it started because CF who was waiting trial for assaulting her boyfriend took her own life?

That's not very #bekind.

And it's ironic if I'm right about it's origins it's being used as a way to silence people - especially woman.

That is a good point. I like your version.

All hashtags should be banned and I find the #bekind usually comes from rather narcissistic people.

Yes I feel very uncomfortable about its origins and the fact its associated with a violent person being turned into some sort of saint on social media.

I was literally going to post about this. I fucking hate it. I am seeing on prints for the wall, cushions, girls T-shirt's etc. FUCK OFF

All I want to konw is are you kind?

It's just a passive aggressive way of saying 'women, shut up and put your own needs behind everyone else' . Total crap way of keeping women in a subservient role. Teach your children to be kind to those who are kind to them and to stand up for their own boundaries.

IME the #bekind clothes are usually worn by grown women who are bitchy and I’ve also seen them on the women who were bullies at my school. But they wear them for the gram.

It’s so shit, and like a PP said, it’s all over girl’s clothing just now. It’s meaningless.

Not only is it pretty much mainly directed at women but the ‘sayers’ tend to very much be ‘unkind’ if a woman fails to be quiet and shut up. For example if a woman dares to persist in trying to stand up for the rights of girls and women. At that point there tends to be a torrent of abuse
Nb this abuse is not always from men. There are plenty of women out there doing the ‘pick me’ dance for male approval. You only have to look at all the women in publishing who are roundly applauding the decision to long list a man for the ‘Women’s Prize for Fiction’. Anyone who points out that it’s now simply a ‘prize for fiction’ is bleated at and slapped down. So women really are allowed ‘nothing’ for themselves these days and other women facilitate it.

YANBU.

I think Be Fair is a lot better than Be Kind, but I can't see it catching on.

@sleepyhead

I often see unkind words/acts from people who use this hashtag Alice Roberts so just assume it's shorthand for shut up.

The consummate virtue signaller. As for #BeKind, this is someone who used her status as an established professor to bully a junior academic: all the while having complained about having been the target of bullying and discrimination herself.

Rarely have I been so disappointed in anyone. I used to really admire and respect her.

Not only is it pretty much mainly directed at women but the ‘sayers’ tend to very much be ‘unkind’ if a woman fails to be quiet and shut up. For example if a woman dares to persist in trying to stand up for the rights of girls and women.

YY to this. There are some atrocious examples on this very site.

Interestingly, I had a friend of a friend say this to me today on social media. I told him it was a way of telling women to shut up. Well, I got jumped on, by both men and women.