I'm (hopefully) planning a small party for my husbands (big) birthday in June. I feel that even if I just invite his close friends and their partners my mil will be upset I didn't invite her. My husband is much more into smallish get togethers than big parties.
If I invite her it will turn into a much bigger event than what I'm planning (bbq and beers in the garden) she will insist she bring various salads, hot dishes and then insist that this person and that person has to be invited ect.
Two years ago at my ds birthday she turned up at the party with friends of hers whom we'd never met and proceeded to show them around our house. Another time when we were just having a bbq we asked her if she wanted to pop over and she completely took over everything despite me telling her to go enjoy herself.
When she's not in the kitchen she's then going around with a rubbish bag clearing in and then takes out the hoover which I feel you don't do when you've guests unless something gets spilled. It nearly feels like she choreographing the party to suit her timeline but I know she means well and it's just her nature.
I'm planning on having a separate celebration on my dhs actual birthday and will have his family over for that but aibu to want to throw a small party for his birthday with just our own friends? If it wasn't the week of his birthday I wouldn't think anything of it but I can hear it now how she wasn't invited to her sons birthday.
Just wondering what would you do? Thank you