"Known as" or Preferred surname

[Season1Episode1]

I think it is not legal to have a "Known as" surname in England and Wales, but it is in NI, where I live. Does anyone know anything about this?

Does anyone have any experience of having an official AND a preferred surname,
for either themselves or their children? How annoying is it, how confusing is it to have an official surname and as "Known as" one?

The change would be for school and everyday life for my children, at their request. It would be to have the same surname as me and my family who we live with. I didn't change my name when I married, am now divorced.

Deed poll change seems out of reach as my ex would probably consent, but is abroad, other side of the world (doesn't see or provide for children) and wouldn't be here to sign the necessary paperwork as witnessed by magistrate etc.

From what I hear, the court order option is unlikely to be passed and involves a lot of stress. The children are young. Ex was not violent or abusive, just went away when we split and contact, even by phone, is sporadic. He has no plans to ever come back here.

I believe court orders are only passed when I can prove the children are disadvantaged by having his surname or he is not their biological father. It is a difficult name to pronounce and from a different language/ culture, but my research suggests that this is not going to be a factor in a favourable court order - in fact, it may be the opposite as cultural links with both sides are important etc. My oldest son in particular (7) hates having the same surname as his dad and I feel guilty that I have burdened them with it.

I now understand why many MNetters advise women to ensure their children have the same name as them - good advice, but that ship has sailed for me.

I believe court orders are more successful when the children are older and their voice is listened to more. And yet, it feels like changing now would be better for them, while they're still young.
By the way I do not bad-mouth their father (although I have plenty of reason to) or his name. In fact, I tell my children that it is a beautiful name. They ask me why didn't I want it then....

All perspectives welcome.

Never heard of this in my life sorry. Preferred Christian name/forename, but not preferred surname. Well, occasionally some professional women would use their maiden name if they had become successful or well known with their maiden name. But apart from that. Nope.

Hopefully someone else will come along soon who is more helpful...

I know that for things like GCSEs and A levels you have to be entered in your legal name, not any 'known as' ones.
And later if employers want to check they'll want them in the 'correct' name.
I think some people will use known as surnames eg double barreled and just use one part.

I’d either apply to change it formally or not at all. It causes all sorts of problems later on from exam certificates to the name that can be used upon getting married etc.

I know this from the Republic of Ireland, and think it comes from having an Irish surname officially and being known by an Anglicised version of it (they are sometimes very different indeed and not at all obvious). I know my friend had to provide evidence she was "known by" one version for several years before she could change the name in her passport. Not that this really helps you...

In your case I would say definitely try to have the kids "known by" your surname if possible at school etc and then in due course maybe you can add yours in legally as double barrelled? You'd have a good case for this, it wouldn't erase their father's name/culture/heritage but then they could choose whichever formation they want in day to day use.

I have my fathers surname but never any contact with him. Throughout primary school I used my mums surname as a known as name without any problems, she just explained to the school and it was used for everything a normal name would.

My son has had a legal surname and a known as surname for years now. He double-barrelled with his step-fathers name. It has made no major difference to his day to day life at school/friends etc.

His passport is in his legal name, as are his medical records, bank accounts and his school results (like SATS when he was in primary). But everywhere else he's known as his other name.

We have now legally changed it (through his step-father adopting him) to double-barrelled. But if we hadn't, it would have been his choice to do so as an adult.

Incidentally my DH goes by a different surname than his birth name, and thought it was legal, until his first wedding! Then found out that his mum hadn't actually changed it properly when he was a child. He'd managed to get bank accounts, passport, drivers licence and a mortgage in a false name! Cue a hurried trip to a solicitor for a deed poll change in the week before his first wedding! 🤦🏻‍♀️

At our wedding the registrar said that deed poll documents aren't really worth the paper they're written on, but he still accepted it as proof of name change.

My son (in England) has s legal surname and a known by surname that he uses at school. He will change it by deed poll when he turns 16 so his GCSEs will be in the known by name, which will by then be his legal name. School are fine with it. He uses legal name at the doctors etc

My husband has also changed by deed poll, which he has now lost. Before he lost it he got driving licence and passport in new name so it doesn't seem to matter that the deed poll is lost as all his documents are in that name now.

One of my friends had about 3 or 4 different 'known as' surnames when in school - her step fathers which was a 'known as' when I first met her, then after they broke up maybe her fathers name (which was the legal one), then her mothers maiden name, then the new step fathers - aged about 15 she went back to her legal name (BTW I only knew her in comp it seemed like every year she changed her name)

I always thought that was stupid - but if it's just a single change I can't see an issue with it - and if they have been using it for a long time and can't get home of their father I would imagine it will be easier to change it legally

Thank you so much, everyone. Food for thought and you have all mentioned factors worth bearing in mind.

It is perfectly legal to have a “known as” name in England too - as long as there is no intent to defraud by using a different name. When I married I kept my maiden name for work but changed my passport and driving license to my husbands name.

When I got a new job I explained why my id was in a different name to my application, and HR didn’t blink and said it was fine. I think as long as you can explain the name, eg through you and your children’s birth certificates (and it’s not some random name with no obvious connection) then it should be fine.